Customer Reviews

What a Difference a Daddy Makes: The Indelible Imprint a Dad Leaves on His Daughter's Life

5 star:		(23)
4 star:		(8)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(3)
1 star:		(3)

 

 

I heard Dr. Kevin Leman discuss What a Difference a Daddy Makes on Focus on the Family. At the end of the hour, I knew I had to buy and read this book. I cannot say enough good things about it. If I could give it six stars, I would.

There were several chapters in the book that made me think, "This chapter alone is worth the price of the book." I think my favorite was chapter five - A Good Dad. Dr. Leman offers the encouragement that a dad doesn't need to be a great dad, just a good dad who is present and consistent. Super daddy once in a great while isn't the key. Rather, good dad in generous and frequent doses is the key to raising a well-adjusted daughter.

Dr. Leman offers this profile of a "Good Father:"
1. A Father who is there
2. A Father who understands
3. A Father who honors his wife
4. A Father who believes in his daughter
5. A Father who lets his daughter hurt

I could hardly believe number five, until I read what Dr. Leman had to say to explain himself.

Dr. Leman's book endeared itself to me. His writing style is pleasant and straightforward. He shares many stories from his own family to illustrate his points. One of the greatest aspects of the book is that he shares some of his own personal failures as a daddy, not just his victories. He does not come off as one who is perfect telling others that they should be perfect too.

What a Difference a Daddy Makes covers a great deal of territory. The final four chapters are devoted to addressing difficulties that fathers will face. It was valuable reading, especially when he addressed stages of development that a father will need to know about to interact with both his daughter and his wife.

I would be amiss not to mention that this is a book about parenting for both fathers and mothers, daughters and sons. The focus is primarily on the father-daughter relationship, but periodic sections deal with the mother-son relationship as well. This book will be profitable reading for all parents.

I certainly enjoyed this book. It taught me several things I did not yet know. It affirmed in me many things I was already thinking about in rearing my daughter. This book will lift your spirits and encourage you as a parent. Enjoy!

My mother-in-law Bonny gave me this book. I have the privilege of being a husband to her daughter, and the father to her granddaughter. I am glad she did, as this is an excellent book about the challenges and joys of raising a daughter.

Dr. Leman writes this book in a conversational style, and he gives firm council without sounding preachy. He lays out real anecdotes, and recounts the ups and downs, highs and lows, of raising his daughters. Throughout the book is one common theme - be involved! He warns of the consequences that will likely result from a lack of involvement. If I thought that the challenges of being a parent were scary, the consequences of not being an actively involved one are even more so. He gives the analogy of "wet cement" to depict that we have but a brief time to help mold their lives, and then it is too late. There are a great many substitutes for what we are intended to provide, with most of them carrying a huge cost.

I enjoyed the disbursement of information he shares about various wins and mistakes he himself made with his daughters, and wish to thank his whole family for their willingness to have their personal lives shared to benefit others. When he got to the last chapter on his first experience with marrying off a daughter, I had tears in my eyes and a knot in my stomach, and my daughter is only 1!

Also of great importance is the fact the he stresses the value of having an openly affectionate and positive relationship with our wives as being equally important in raising daughters. Our children will model what we do, not what we say, and depicting a healthy relationship with my wife, showing various ways of handling conflicts, treating her with kindness and respect, and being openly affectionate will model for my daughter the kind of man we want her to marry.

Overall, an excellent book for all parents of daughters, with advice and council that is critical for parents who wish to raise their daughters to be emotionally healthy and to make good choices about their lives and relationships. The book is challenging and firm where it should be. As a father, I found several quotes and tips illuminating enough to be stored away to be used when needed. I recommend this book highly. It is not a textbook style "self-help" manual, but rather reads like a story. All fathers, or potential fathers, should read this book and realize what a tremendous responsibility we have for these little lives, and just how much we are needed to help mold them in a positive way.

What a Difference a Daddy Makes is written by Dr. Kevin Leman. Dr. Leman is internationally known psychologist, and has written over twenty books on the family. Dr. Leman received his bachelor's, master's and doctorate from the University of Arizona. He is the founder of Couples of Promise. Dr. Leman has been on numerous national talk shows including Good Morning America , and Oprah. His most impressive qualification to me though is that he is the father to four daughters who adore him. The subject of the book is just what the title suggests it gives examples and stories of just how a daddy makes a very strong impression on her life and determines how a girl will see men in the world. The book is divided into three sections with each section being at least four chapters long.
The purpose of this book is to show parents how important the relationship between a father and his daughter is. This book though is not intended just for fathers as you might think but is for all parents. Mother's need to see just how important this relationship is so they don't feel threatened or jealous.
It is my opinion that this book does a very good job of teaching parents especially first time parents of the importance of the father daughter relationship. It also sheds new light to opinions society has placed on us to believe mothers should be the prevelant parent.
The content throughout the book is exceptional. The content which is drawn primarily from Dr. Leman's personal experiences with his own daughters is the best, but also enjoyable are the stories from other people. Each section of the book is primarily for a certain age group. Section one is for birth to school age. Section two carries the torch with the age group from kindergarten to about junior high. Section three covers junior high through marriage.
Dr. Leman who is also known as a humorist uses a very simple and humorous approach as the style for the book. I am so glad this wasn't a book with a lot of complicated terms. In fact any parent could enjoy this book and understand it's beliefs and principles. The fact that Dr. Leman gives true life experiences to convey his points make them much more believable. For example in the beginning of the book Dr. Leman uses a story about a little girl in 1935 named Shirli Hunt from Bellingham Washington. When Shirli was a little girl she had been taught by her father to always stand in respect for the country when ever anything patriotic was going on. Once in school during music class the teacher decided to sing America the Beautiful and even though her father wasn't there and would never know Shirli stood. When a classmate said she didn't have to stand she replied " oh yes I did you don't know my father." Sixty years later when Shirli told this story to Dr. Leman He realized the lasting impresssion the man who had raised Shirli had made on her. Another good example of the impression a dad makes on his daughter is from a letter a daughter wrote to her dad which explained that because he took time for her as a child that now as a young lady she was very well prepared to handle life and she was proud to have him for a dad. This evidence is very convincing to me because Shirli Hunt remembered her father s vividly after so many years. Another statement in the book I found interesting is that a daughters enire way she acts with all men will be determined by her relationship with her father. Dr. Leman says " show me a woman who picks Dennis Rodman over Michael Jordan and I'll show you an accurate picture of her father." I believe this is a very true statement and very profound.
Dr. Leman also addressed head on about mothers who feel threatened about a strong father daughter relationship and I thought that was most helpful as well. Dr. Leman also describes how this can be a very destructive atmosphere for the child.
The book has many strengths giving insight to parents. It also proves it theories with real life examples and is entertaining through out with a good dose of humor. The only weakness I believe the book has is it doesn't give much hope for divorced fathers, in fact one part of the book says you can't make your daughter into a Miss Trust as oposed to a mistrust two weekends a month. Dr. Leman may not be aware but in today's court system often that is all the father is awarded, but I do agree it is impossible to build a strong relationship that way.
This book is very useful to parents, but also it is useful to people who are contemplating parenthood or who may be already expecting.
I really like this book because as a father I learned just how important the relationship with my daughter is. The book also helped me to feel more proud of my role as a parent and made me feel not only more needed in my daughter's life but more useful and more important.

What an incredibly well-written challenging book. I yellow-highlighted it extensively and this will be a book to which I refer from time-to-time. The summary statement to the book comes in the opening chapter where Leman writes: "The father-daughter relationship is the key to every woman's aching heart." In John Etheridge's book, Wild at Heart, he talked about a man's wounded heart; here, Leman talks about a little girl's aching heart and how her daddy is key to making her the daughter, wife and mother she should be. The premise of his book is that the "fundamental ingredient in any woman's life is her relationship with her father". He states that "a woman's relationship with her father, more than any other relationship, is going to affect her relationships with all other makes in her life. There's not a single relationship that isn't indelibly stamped - for good or for ill - by the man known as Daddy." Leman then spends the balance of the book detailing the difference daddy makes, the duty of daddy and daddy's dilemma. This is a "must" read for any father who wants to be a great dad.

Amazingly enlightening, easy to read, and right on the money! If one is not a Christian, then this book is probably not for you (which perhaps may explain the negative review above?). The book emphasizes the importance of a Dad's role in a daughters life which countless research supports but some groups prefer to ignore. I have first hand seen the damage a bad father plays in my sister's lives. This book will help me not to make the same mistakes with my daughter. Among other things, Lots of time, love, discipline, and support are what Dr. Leman prescribes.

My husband is a great dad. I gave this to him as a birthday gift. He loved it! He read it in 2 weeks. He is now an even greater dad!!!!!!! I advise you to buy this for any DAd you know who has a girl. Dads sometimes underestimate the power they have to shape their little girls. Your little girl will be formed by her Dad r/to: future jobs, relationships, life skills, choosing a mate, the list goes on and on. Yes, as a mom, I read it too! Buy it today!!!! P.S. Our little girl is 6 years old.

Ive been looking around for a book that gives insight to that father/daughter relationship, this is the book for it PERIOD.
Just finished reading it. I loved this book. I loved it soo much that I recomended it to a friend a he loves it, and purchased 2 others for other friends. No book can prepare you to be a daddy, but this definately gives great insight to the role a father has in his daughter(s). Its very enjoyable to read and quite funny at times.

The cool thing about this book is that not only daddy, but Mom's would love reading this too! My wife started to read this book and also finds it very insightful.

You will like this book... and you will want to share it and the knowledge with others.

My wife and I are two true opposites. I enjoy cooking; my wife enjoys cleaning. I would rather cook; she would rather clean. She has six sisters and zero brothers. I have two brothers and zero sisters. What do these characteristics have to do with this book?

Everything.

From both perspectives (my wife's and mine), this is simply a superlative book! I consider myself quite savvy, emotionally attached, and a true believer of self and self-awareness. This book further elucidates the concept that the Daddy-Daughter relationship affects all of us.

Yes... mothers are affected by their respective fathers; but, more importantly, they are affected by their husband's relationship with their daughter(s). Before reading this book, my wife did not fully understand the scope of her father's relationship values (or lack thereof). Moreover, through our reading and sharing the knowledge within this book, my wife has learned to appreciate MY relationship with OUR daughter. She now understands the relative importance of me being "the "go-to" guy. She now understands that there are some things Daddies just know and do.

Much like the Mother's intuition, Daddies have a super sense of balancing teaching/learning; strength/subtlety; faith/hope; patience/expectations... and the significant-yet-natural-to-fathers concept of balancing parental expectations with our daughters' fears.

Dr. Leman covers the entire gambit in this quick read. Indeed, there are many other books available on related topics. However, Dr. Leman's approach is simple without being simplistic. You will like this book.

When I got married five years ago, I don't think I truly realized the awesome responsibility that loomed before me. Several years before that, after breaking off an engagement with someone the Lord did not intend for me to marry, I got a glimpse of how unprepared I was for the burden of being a husband. My ex-fiancé and I would've been ill-matched anyway, but as the relationship dissolved, I was painfully aware of the mistakes I'd made, and that even though I had been "ready" to get married from a commitment to one person perspective, I was nowhere near ready to accept the welfare of someone's daughter. It hurt a lot, and took many years of introspective study and prayer before God made me ready for my beautiful wife and true soul mate, Abby.
However, even then, I don't think it ever hit me what role I was going to have to play someday as a father, and that's pretty natural - for the first couple years, I was focused on not screwing up the husband part (which God willing - and thanks to a very patient wife - I managed not to do). However, just about two years ago, a new world of hopes, dreams, responsibility - as well as gut-wrenching nightmares - was opened up when our daughter Madison Kennedy Lucia was ushered into the world. Even in the middle of all that, though, it was easy to get caught up in `proud, doting father' syndrome, and it only really settled in about six months later the impact I would have on my daughter.

It happened naturally enough, but gradually I realized that Madison spent an enormous amount of time watching me. And watching me.

And watching me some more.

Watching everything.

And then doing everything I did, copying me to the very `T'.

It hit me like a sledgehammer then, as I'm sure it does many dads - my daughter/son watches my every movement; everything I say, do, and will someday model themselves after me.

Wow. Talk about massive reality check. The thought a small child, so helpless, innocent, and without their own self-determination, would base their initial perspectives of the world on someone like me was awe-inspiring, humbling - and just plain frightening, all at once.

However - at least it hit me, because sad to say, we're living in a world where many men never make this connection - even Christian dads. They get caught up in so many other, manly things - doing chores, (which of course, do need to be done eventually, unless you want to hack your way to the front door with a machete), picking up an extra job or working later hours so they can provide better financially for their family - you know, all the man stuff. Plus, it's tough to give up playing hoops with guys, shooting a round of golf, or tooling around in the garage. After all - as babies, they're noisy, stinky, and not very interesting - and let's be honest, this is not what men do, right?

Sadly, these men miss out on the formative years of their sons and daughters' childhood, their once in a lifetime chance to bond with their children passing them by, leaving their kids with memories of a dad who always too preoccupied with "man stuff" to ever build a relationship with them.

Dads - if you're reading this and it strikes a chord, or even if you think you're "all good", as they say today - go to your nearest Christian bookstore or go online and get What A Difference A Daddy Makes, by Dr. Kevin Leman. This is an insightful devotional that focuses especially on the relationship between a father and his daughter, but it embodies principles that all men should incorporate into their lives. Dr. Leman presents advice and Biblical direction in a conversational, frank, and practical way. He couches no terms in this book, presenting the Biblical model of a man, which clearly contradicts the world's concept of "manliness".

The most humbling aspect of this book is how, in many ways, men have abandoned their crucial role in their daughter's lives, thinking that the sole responsibility of raising a girl should go to - well, the other girl in the family, the older one - mom. When a father starts considering that he models not only a healthy marital relationship to his daughter, influencing what type of mate she will pick someday and what type of wife she will be, but also acts as an archetype for how his daughter will someday relate with her heavenly father, the implications are astounding.

Men, don't miss out on the precious relationship that you could have with your children, especially your daughters. Go buy What A Difference A Daddy Makes at a Christian bookstore nearest you today, or better yet - put off the lawn until tommorrow, don't worry about the timing on the truck engine, and take a break from golf. Play with your kids, take them to the park - let them know who Dad really is.

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This is a book to be read and re-read at various stages of your daughter's life. It provides encouragement, insight and a fresh perspective on the girl or girls in your charge -- as well as some insight into your wife. Whenever friends tell me that they are pregnant with a girl, this is the gift I give.