Customer Reviews

What Do I Say Next?: Talking Your Way to Business and Social Success

5 star:		(8)
4 star:		(6)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(4)
1 star:		(6)

 

 

"What Do I Say Next" is a book filled with practical tips for improving conversational skills. Although the book is not really designed for the super introvert, it will help typically shy folks to become better conversationalists. It also provides much needed direction for the outgoing but rude. Perhaps the best word to describe Susan Roane's approach is "balanced."

Unlike some books about conversation which are highly manipulative, this book is designed for both business and social conversation. Its direction is useful for almost any situation.

The book is written casually. Although it is not disorganized, its casual manner with numerous case studies (these are great stories illustrating specific points) means you can pick up a paragraph here or there and find a complete thought.

Much of the material in this volume sounds like common sense. After many of Roane's suggestions, readers might think, "Of course. That's obvious. Why didn't I already know that?" She offers practical, down to earth, and realistic advice.

The author reinforces her main points with a helpful synopsis after each chapter. For shy people, she encourages them with studies that show 75 per cent of good conversationalists consider themselves shy. Her solution: use the "OAR" approach (Offer an observation, Ask a question, and Reveal your thoughts, ideas, or opinions). But do not drive people crazy with a barrage of questions, she warns us.

It is this kind of sensibility and balance that makes this a useful book. It is a practical self-improvement book, not a detailed analysis. Good conversationalists will find a useful pointer or two, weak conversationalists will be overwhelmed with a wealth of advice (and will struggle as to what to do first). Although I did not agree with the author on every point, I recommend this book heartily.

This book was my first -- and only -- purchase on the subject of conversation. In other words, it got the job done. After perusing books on the subject on Amazon.com and at various bookstores, I settled on this book because of its straightforward and commensensical approach. Let's face it, the art of conversation is not rocket science; anyone can do it, they just need some simple tools and some experience. This book provides the tools and the general encouragement to get you into the arena with some confidence.

The great thing about this book is that it avoids the false dichotomy that I saw in a lot of books on the subject: conversation as manipulation or as self-abnegation. The former approach teaches you how to insincerely steer the conversation to your purposes; the latter resigns you to the role of passive agent of others' whims. Susan Roane takes the high road of letting you be yourself -- and letting others be themselves.

Ms. Roane's approach is refreshingly proactive: if you want to be a good conversationalist you need to work at it. She lays out important principles and ideas that have substance. For instance, she sets you at ease by reminding you that there is no shame in small talk; that small talk is a large part of making a connection with someone, whether you've known that person for thirty years or for thirty seconds. After all, do you and your closest friend talk about deep issues twenty-four hours a day? Or do you never, ever mention the weather with them? So don't feel that you have to present a dissertation on quantum physics to make a strong impression, let alone to break the ice! Nor should you regard discussing the weather as hopelessly gauche. Ms. Roane's more general advice is just as refreshing in its simplicity: she notes that to be a more interesting conversationalist you need to be a more interesting person; and to be a more interesting person you need to read widely and experience life. Good advice! And a far cry from the kind of book that has you memorize hundreds of questions or bits of information. How boring; and more fundamentally, how fake. You engage in conversation to learn interesting things and develop a connection with people; not so you can demonstrate your ability to memorize lists with which to flatter a person into your good graces -- or in order to sacrifice your independence in order to look impressive in someone's eyes.

My complaints with the book are few and minor, the main one being that the writing is overburdened with puns, and that Ms. Roane's penchant for crediting her sources is overdone to the point of distraction. (Ms. Roane would have better served the reader by saying "a friend" a little more often rather than "Mr. so-and-so from such-and-such corporation" every time she mentioned someones' advice.)

To be good at anything requires honest work, and Susan Roane doesn't shy away from this fact. But the great thing about conversation is that it is the most natural thing in the world once you realize a few important points and own a few skills. Whether you are interested in the art of conversation for your business or your personal life, this book will help you accomplish your goals. Honest contact better serves even a business-related conversation -- and is a hell of a lot more fun to boot.

Heard WHAT DO I SAY NEXT? . . . written and read by
Susan RoAne, its subtitle proves to be an apt description of what
the book is all about: TALKING YOUR WAY TO BUSINESS AND
SOCIAL SUCCESS.

There are many fine ideas presented here, all designed to make
communication just a little bit easier . . . many of them I've heard
before, yet even those I've too often forgotten.

I guarantee that by listening to or reading RoAne's work, you'll get
at least one tip that you can begin applying in a work and/or
home situation . . . to cite a few for your consideration:

Prepare for conversations by talking to yourself first. Make sure
your conversations are positive.

Always have a 7-9 second introduction for yourself.

Put your nametag on your right side. This makes it more visible
when you shake hands.

Make nametags large enough so all can read the names.

[if you forget somebody's name] Stick out your hand when you say
your name. People respond in kind 90% of the time.

Never ask, "Do you remember me?"

Conversations should have a non-compete clause.

People who say they are brutally honest are usually more
brutal than honest.

I'm sorry, but this book is a big disappointment. There are some pretty good suggestions (read the newspaper, practice your jokes, etc.) but you have to wade through thousands of words to find them. And the stories! I felt like I was being dragged kicking and screaming through story after story -- most boring. There is enough solid information here to make a good ten page magazine article. The rest is fluff -- filler. Granted, it's easy to read. It just doesn't say anything. Save your money and buy "How to work a room" by the same author. It has just about everything in this book and a lot of other stuff that's better. And it's not nearly so padded.

Everyone can use hints for making business and personal conversations more effective. Susan RoAne offers the "do's and don'ts," from discussing business during lunch to comforting those in mourning. She even devotes a chapter to effective cyber-chatting. She will make you more aware of your body language, facial expressions, gestures, eye contact, and listening skills. Many of RoAne's suggestions are common-sense and you probably already use them, but not consciously and with much reflection. This may cause you to consider what you do and say, and how you come across. RoAne emphasizes courtesy, respect, and the value of truly listening to others. We recommend this book to help you build confidence and generate lively, informative conversations. Laced with Yiddish expressions and personal experiences, it draws on the author's experiences as the "mingling maven" keynote speaker.

I listened to this audio tape and it was awful. I felt her suggestions were not practical (keep a notebook of funny things that happen during the day and then use those stories at a party) and her examples of conversations were very self-serving and not anything I would strive to attain. She bashed the advice of asking questions to keep a conversation rolling, and I find this to be a great tool. If you are dying to find what this is all about, go to your local library. Otherwise, don't bother.

I bought the audio-tape read by the author. I hope she is a better speaker than a books-on-tape reader. I found her delivery nasal and flat. It was unpleasant listening to her.

The content was thin, included too many quotes, and came off at times as self-congratulatory. If I didn't think conversation skills were important I wouldn't have bought the tape. I didn't need to hear over and over how important being a "conversensation" (her much over-used term) is to social and business success.

I listened to this tape twice (the second time to verify my impressions) and then got rid of it. It was a waste of money.

I found a much better tape on the subject in "The Fine Art of Small Talk" by Debra Fine.

I found this book to go on and on, without giving me anything new. Lot of name dropping. Constant overuse of the self created term "conversensation" and so many Yiddish words and phrases, that she felt the need to add a Yiddish glossary at the end of the book. Not at all helpful to me, and I am by no means experienced in this area.

The book provides lots of common sense tips which we easily forget during daily life, e.g. use 'and' instead of 'but' when disagreeing with people; ask 'how' instead of 'why' to make questions sound less demanding.

However, certain areas like the topic on cross-cultural communication, the auther seems to write only to fill the pages. There is no real practical common or in-depth advices. For someone who has been living in 3 continents and 5 countries in the past 26 years, this chapter is definitely very superficial.

Also, the book seems to start repeating itself half way through, and remedies are only offered only in areas that the author has some opinions. For those she does not have too much to say or anhy clue, it is either skipped or non-value-added opinions were offered.

Other than the above mentioned, I do recommend the book, esp as either a 'refreshing course' or a 'crash course' in social skills.

this book was a major disappointment to me....it contains nothing more than common sense, with the same information repeated over and over again. it has too many chapters, each of which is too short with very little content. the book provides no unique insight or observations on the art of conversation. save your money, and don't buy this book.