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What Does Everybody Else Know That I Don't?: Social Skills Help for Adults with Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder Paperback – October 1, 1999


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Product Details

  • Paperback: 314 pages
  • Publisher: Specialty Press/A.D.D. Warehouse; 1 edition (October 1, 1999)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1886941343
  • ISBN-13: 978-1886941342
  • Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.8 x 8.5 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (46 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #70,549 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Michele Novotni, PhD, is a psychologist and the author of Adult ADD. She lives in Malvern, Pennsylvania. Randy Petersen lives in Westville, New Jersey.

Customer Reviews

It was very easy to read and gave some very good information.
FFarms
It helps the ADHD person figure out how their behavior affects others and what they can do better.
S. Varon
It does offer some great suggestions and advice for both simple and more complex social skills.
Amazon Customer

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

121 of 124 people found the following review helpful A Kid's Review on July 14, 2006
Format: Paperback
The basic premise of this book comes from the idea from Fulgham's book that "all we know we learned in kindergarten". Novotni interprets these kindergarten skills as basic social skills, which most ADDers didn't pick up on in their early years, perhaps because they were too busy running around and breaking things, or daydreaming too much.

I'm sure there is truth in this. However, the author ignores the fact that for many with ADD, there are also reasons behind their seemingly odd, socially inappropriate behaviours that extend beyond the "just wasn't paying attention" line. Other issues that many folks with ADD contend with, such as sensory defensive and sometimes perceptual difficulties/learning disabilities, have an impact on their ability to socialise as NTs (Neuro-typicals) do.

A good example of this can be seen in the treatment of the section on eye-contact. We are told of the importance of effective eye-contact. I have known of the importance my culture places on eye contact for communication for a long time. But I still have difficulties with it. The reasons behind my eye-contact problems have more to do with sensory and information processing difficulties than not knowing that I am expected to use it. Factors such as sensitivity to light can make the experience of eye-contact extremely intense, so that looking another person in the eye can be uncomfortable, even painful for some people with ADD. Another factor, for me, and I imagine some other ADDers, is the difficulty in coordinating concentrating on two things at once or processing a lot of information at once. When I am making eye-contact with someone, it is less likely I am hearing what the other person is saying. I am actually *listening* more when not looking at the speaker.
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53 of 57 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on March 22, 2002
Format: Paperback
There are so many clinical books about AD/HD, but this book is different. It goes behind the diagnosis, treatment and struggles to talk about an often missed area of problem...the social skills area. Without addressing this, the person continues to function without knowing how he comes across in the world. Even the brightest person can alienate others in the social settings and work settings too. I also love the very emotional book of The Other Me, Poetic thoughts on ADD for adults, kids and parents, by Fellman. It touched my heart so...I cried for all those painful times. Thanks to these two authors for addressing the feelings of ADD!
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25 of 26 people found the following review helpful By I'm in my shop on November 8, 2009
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
The author reviews the types of behaviors that many of those with ADHD do that gets them in trouble. Also listed are many of those things that they do not but should. With the former, most of the advice provided by this author seems to consist of saying such and such behavior will land you in hot water. So don't do it. But there is little advice on how to go about modifying your behavior. Perhaps this book might be useful for kids but most adults have figured out for example that blurting things out in an undiplomatic manner will get them in trouble. But to just stay stop it is silly and useless advice.
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55 of 63 people found the following review helpful By Kate McMurry TOP 500 REVIEWERVINE VOICE on August 3, 2001
Format: Paperback
Michele Novotni, Ph.D., has more than 20 years of experience as a psychologist working with children and adults with AD/HD. She is an Assistant Professor in the graduate counseling department of Eastern College, Saint Davids, Pennsylvania. She has also co-authored Adult ADD: A Reader Friendly Guide to Identifying, Understanding and Treating Adult Attention Deficit Disorder. Both her son and her father have AD/HD.
This 314-page book has footnotes at the end of each chapter, an index, a bibliography and several useful appendices, including two social skills checklists. The book discusses the importance of social skills, why adults with AD/HD may not have learned all the social skills they need in their childhood, and systematically teaches these missing social skills.
This excellent guide is clearly and concisely written. Each chapter ends with a very helpful, gray-highlighted box called "Just the Facts" which lists the major points of the chapter for ready reference.
It is true that many of the social skills covered in this book are very basic, like remembering to say, "please" and "thank you" and always saying, "hello" when you enter a room and "goodbye" when you exit. However, Dr. Novotni goes much deeper than this level. For example, she covers the important area of observation of subtle social cues, using "I messages" and conflict resolution techniques, all of which most so-called "normal" adults don't know.
I believe this book is useful not just for adults with AD/HD, but for parents of AD/HD children, as well. Dr. Novotni has helped me see in a very complete and concrete way the social skills my two AD/HD teens need to acquire by adulthood.
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28 of 30 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on July 19, 2000
Format: Paperback
As an ADD parent of an ADD child, I found the book enlightening. It opened my eyes to things I do sometimes, and the social consequences. I also see things that my children do. With suggestions from this book I now have tools to help myself and in turn, help them. I liked that it gave examples of the right words to say, which is sometimes a problem for me.
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What Does Everybody Else Know That I Don't?: Social Skills Help for Adults with Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder
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