What the Dogs Have Taught Me: And Other Amazing Things I've Learned [Paperback]

Merrill Markoe (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: January 11, 2005

Award-winning comedy writer Merrill Markoe, the slightly warped mind behind Stupid Pet Tricks, is an old hand with dogs. She knows who’s boss (they are) and the myriad ways a loving pet can make you feel guilty twenty-four hours a day. This new edition of Merrill Markoe’s classic collection of humorous essays gives readers the choicest selections along with brand-new material.

In these razor-sharp essays, Markoe recounts her dogs’ phone chats with animal communicators, her search for past lives, and her brief stint as a stun gun saleswoman. She describes the workshop that taught her how to launch an Internet porn business and another that gave proper instruction in the esoteric art of becoming a dominatrix.

She shares insight into what it is like to structure your day using only dog rules, how to spot a really horrible restaurant, and what it’s like to have a romantic dinner with Fabio. There’s even a bright side to preparing for the apocalypse: “At last, it is time to forget about fat grams and low cholesterol.” This enchantingly rambunctious and boundlessly enjoyable book gives you Merrill Markoe at her best. You’ll devour it in one sitting (and so may your pet).

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

Merrill Markoe, the creator of "Stupid Pet Tricks," won four Emmy awards for her work on the David Letterman show. In these sidesplitting essays--from "The Wacky World of Men" to "An Insider's Guide to the American Woman" to "Showering with Your Dog"--she reveals what she's learned about life from "dogs, celebrities, bachelors, and other beasts."

In Markoe's words, "I pick dogs that remind me of myself--scrappy, mutt-faced, with a hint of mange. People look for a reflection of their own personalities or the person they dream of being in the eyes of an animal companion. That is the reason I sometimes look into the face of my dog Stan and see wistful sadness and existential angst, when all he is actually doing is slowly scanning the ceiling for flies."

Following a collection of sparkling chapters on cultural phenomena--from the "Creeping Gabor Syndrome" (the terror of turning into Zsa Zsa Gabor) to what happens to you when you live alone (and the eight things you can do because there's no one there to stop you)--the last chapter outlines the many lessons Markoe has learned from her dogs: "If you see something you want, and all your other attempts at getting it have failed, it is only right to grovel shamelessly. As a second tactic, stare intently at the object of your desire, allowing long gelatinous drools to leak like icicles from your lips." --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Publishers Weekly

These humorous essays are the literary equivalent of snack food: they're not always substantial but they're difficult to put down and quickly devoured. Author tour.
Copyright 1993 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 272 pages
• Publisher: Villard (January 11, 2005)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0812974506
• ISBN-13: 978-0812974508
• Product Dimensions: 5.9 x 0.5 x 7.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 5.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (8 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #392,968 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Merrill Markoe graduated from UC Berkeley with a masters degree in art, then went on to use her degree in the most pragmatic way possible by becoming a writer of comedy for assorted venues, including television, movies and magazines,(when there still were magazines.) Along the way she won five Emmys for Late Night with David Letterman and a Writer's Guild Award for HBO's Not Necessarily the News.These days she is STILL writing books and making short films. To learn more than you probably need to know about her, visit Merrillmarkoe.com. And when I say "her", I mean "me." As far as I can tell, I'm the only one writing this.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

13 of 13 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars I've never laughed so hard while reading a book!, July 7, 1998

By 

[e-mail] (Riverside, California) - See all my reviews

This review is from: What the Dogs Have Taught Me : And Other Amazing Things I've Learned (Paperback)

This is by and large the funniest book I've ever read. Whether you own a dog or not, you can't help but laugh from cover to cover. I've recommended this book to all my friends, I've even bought a copy or two as a gift.

12 of 13 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Laugh Out Loud and Until You're Crying, May 7, 1999

By A Customer

This review is from: What the Dogs Have Taught Me : And Other Amazing Things I've Learned (Paperback)

i think this is probably the funniest book i've ever read ... people hearing you laugh while reading this will think you have gone insane and you will want to read it to them ... after reading this, i had hoped that merrill markoe had written dozens of other books, but alas, i only found one other (which was also very funny) ... maybe she'll read this and publish more. hope so.

9 of 10 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars buy it, January 26, 2005

By 

Mrs (Austin, TX United States) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: What the Dogs Have Taught Me (Hardcover)

This book is so freakin' funny I almost can't stand it. The back of my head aches from laughing. All her writing is perfect. She's the kind of girl you want to hang out with so you start sounding like her after a while.