Customer Reviews

What Men Don't Want Women To Know: The Secrets, The Lies, The Unspoken Truth

5 star:		(43)
4 star:		(13)
3 star:		(7)
2 star:		(7)
1 star:		(23)

 

 

Please speak only for yourselves. All men are not like the dehumanizing creatures in this book. I'm not, and neither are my friends. I have found that a lot of men use the excuse "baby, that's how all men are," or "men are just wired that way," to excuse anything. But it's not true. Some of us are actual human beings, and think and behave that way even when we're alone or at work or on vacation. And no, we're not all controlled by our sex drives. And yes, some of us do love the women we marry, and don't want to be with anyone else, even if offered. How egocentric to believe that just because you're a certain way, that all men are. Return this one, quick.

Written by a confessed sex addict and his pal, who seem to think they are typical. Yes, men are wired to be very, very attracted to sex & women...DUH. However, many of us have learned that there is more to life than following our #&%*. Read this if you want to know what sex addicts and serial philanderers don't want you to know. For the rest of us, sex is very important, but not above all else in life.

As a relationship author myself I'm always on the lookout for fresh material or perspective on men-women issues. I brought this book with me last week on my vacation to Cabo San Lucas. At home I would have found this book to be entertaining and at times partially correct, but in a vacation resort (or a city like Las Vegas) this stuff can be amazingly true. For all those women who have reviewed this book and have given such low ratings, I'm afraid that you're probably the ones who need to be aware of this the most. If you can get past the obvious outrageousness (for entertainment) and annoying page layouts, there's more truth than you can imagine. If this is too strong for your tastes, then take a look around and notice all the strip clubs that are around the big cities. As far as I can see amongst my wide range of friends, the things in this book like (prostitutes, Deny, Business trips, masturbation, and the clever test at the end) are either in the thought process or actually being played out by a significant number of men. Those who are not would be those who are very spiritually evolved (and see no fulfillment in this direction) or are pansies. If your guy is a take charge, macho, guy's guy, then don't be surprised if either he or his friends are like this book. There's more truth in here then almost any woman could believe. In many cases, it is more a matter of finding out what stage the guy is in. But the authors are right in that there are definitely "some" things in here that us guys don't want women to know....and if you're a woman don't pass up on this kind of candid understanding. It probably won't be repeated a whole lot more in mainstream published books.

This book was interesting and some of what it said is true. However if every word written in this book was taken literally for every single man on this planet, then all women would be doomed. This book may have been written to open women's eyes to what is really going on, but it was also written with the intent to shock and in many cases take a mild case of the truth to the nth degree. The truth is some men are like that, some are not, and there is everything in between. Also worth mentioning is the point that there are men out there that are like that at SOME POINT IN THEIR LIFE only. There are men out there who like variety and no single woman can hold them even if she is a sex-goddess. There are also other men out there who spend their entire life obsessing about only one woman, and many times that one woman won't give them the time of day. My advice to women is not to look at this book as the secret manual to all men. Chances are if you picked this book of the shelf and if what you read in it bothered you, then there is probably something that bothered you in the first place about your man or your relationship or your self-esteem. Truth is, for most cases ladies, if you have a man in your life chances are he is not oblivous of the fact that there are other beautiful women on this planet. He may fantasize about his co-workers, your friends and every other woman you may or may not be afraid he is fantasizing about. He may lie when he gives you a PG rated version about what happened at that bachelor party. But in 99% of all cases he loves YOU. Most men will not jeopardize their relationship with you and will not cheat. And many will not cheat EVEN if they did not have to worry about being discovered or STDs. Others give in to temptation if and when the opportunity arises, much like you can't resist that piece of chocolate cake when you are on a diet. However they DO suffer a horribly painful loss if they lose you as a result. This book can be viewed as hilarious and funny, or may depress you for days and maybe even make you hate the world. Concentrate on YOUR relationship. It is a totally unique relationship with its own set of good things and bad things. Normally the fact that your man may find other women attractive should not bother you any more than it bothering him that you read romance novels. If it does bother you, either you have a very good reason to worry about it, or you are insecure. And in both cases you will need to address the issue and fast. I don't think you will find the answers in this book.

Why shouldn't you believe what the authors have to "reveal" in this book? Because, according to his own bio on the dust jacket, one of them is a recovering sex addict with 4 (at last count) failed marriages. Getting advice about male sexuality from this source is like asking a prostitute about female sexuality, or asking a homeless alcoholic about the healthful effects of a glass of wine with dinner. Don't waste your time or your money on this drivel.

Interesting book.

Though I'm male, and married, I agree with many reviewers here in saying: All women should hear this information, if they're old enough to date.

I do NOT, however, feel that they should get it from this book, because this book, while TRUE in most ways, doesn't take into account the fact that there are TWO types of men who act this way:

1. The kind that think it's just part of being a guy and therefore act like it's totally OK, at least until their girlfriend/wife finds out, and THEN they act guilty and admit wrongdoing, in Clintonesque fashion, just to get out of trouble.

2. The guys whose conscience plagues them WHETHER OR NOT their significant other ever finds out, and who try to "avoid temptation," reign in their thoughts, etc., even though they're often not successful.

It's simple enough to analyze group #1: They're the users, the uncaring amoral type.

Group #2: Good guys who suffer from testosterone, which doesn't excuse but does EXPLAIN all this. And whereas group #1, after some maturing, will become "dirty old [or middle-aged] men," group #2 will eventually mature beyond that behavior. From a female point-of-view, they're a better investment.

This book doesn't seem to account for this. It essentially dumps on men and throws cold water on any woman's hopes for finding an honorable man.

Women should be wise: Men today are surrounded by porn which constantly revs their sex drives, love scenes on T.V. which suggest that they can always get a hot 22-year old who's ready to "put out" with minimal effort. Again, not an excuse, just an explanation. Men WILL act this way.

But this book could easily have been more realistic about the difference in attitudes between some men and others.

A better book for this kind of information: "The Sexual Man" by Dr. Archibald D. Hart. Much more realistic, much more accurate, much more balanced. Check it out.

This book has obviously been written by two 15-year-old sex-deprived boys masquerading as two fully grown sex-depraved men. Even though it's been endorsed by the world's most "respected man of integrity" (ha!) Howard Stern!! Well, since we all live our lives by The Word according to Stern, how can we go wrong? (Which is exactly the way he tells us to to go and makes millions for it). These two bozos are cashing in on weak and gullible guys who need other guys to give them the nod that whatever their sex-drive dictates, is OK and something to boast about!

So now, let me get this straight. Twerps (who call themselves "men") are not biologically capable of saying no, so by nature they're compelled to play around with any female ignorant and emotionally needy enough to go along with them. But it's perfectly acceptable because it's their hormones that make them do it. Am I getting it right so far?

And let me see now, if their girlfriend or wife can't or won't give them what they want when they want it, they have a right to go get it from someone else. After all, it's up to her to keep him from that, isn't it? And if she doesn't she deserves to be cheated on and lied to. How am I doing so far? And let's see now, the better they are at cheating and lying, the more points they earn from other twerps?

Here's a shocker for pathetic guys like you: Any woman with personal integrity, intelligence, beauty, style, class, and natural sex-appeal won't buy into your BS because she'll have you pegged in the blink of an eye. You're easy to spot and there are many,many of you sniffing around and about. You try to hide it but you're so obviously needy it's a complete turn-off to her. She's going to have a good laugh while she passes you by for an authentic, sexy, attractive, honorable man that's willing and able to provide her with what she really wants and needs - genuine love - and she'll get it because she'll hold out for the BEST and won't settle for you. In other words, she will have the man that you guys pretend to be. The reason you're experts at deception is because you know that if a woman could see who you really are, she'd be gone!

Now say you don't care! Of course you'd give your whole collection of Playboy magazines just to be seen by the other guys with a woman like her admiring you. Sorry, but you're not even on her "C" list. She's got quality taste and you don't count.

Instead, you "loaded" lemmings live to be enslaved by any airheaded, lonely or desperate female starved for affection and gullible enough to believe your fraudulent pitches. You say you're choosy but you'll settle for anything female and available. Hormones? BS! It's HUBRIS guys - but you refuse to recognize that fact and admit it's making your lives pretty miserable and you're enslaved by it. Admit it. Without a babe in your life you're in a panic and you're lost. You can't make it without a female, and you think you're free?

The easiest thing in the world for a woman to do is get a guy to touch her. Any woman, at any age, regardless of what she looks like, knows that, and can get it within an hour. You're not as special as you think you are and you're a dime a dozen. You fall over chairs trying to get a freebie glance at a cleavage (whoopie-do!). You wreck your expensive cars or cheap pick-up trucks because you can't keep your eyes off of an average pair of legs walking down the street.

You pay high-priced and low-life prostitutes your hard earned money just to get from her what you could get from your own woman - if you knew how. You haven't figured out yet that you get what you give - and you don't have to buy it from a public escort. To gratify your Almighty Hormones and to show off in front of other duds, you make asses of yourselves daily. You spend money you don't have, deceive your girlfriends, break up your families, dishonor your marriages, lose your jobs, and dirty the office of the presidency. You live with guilt and fear of getting caught. You hurt yourself and you deeply crush those you say you care for. All for a roll around on the bed that's over for you in a minute. But you'll continue catering to Hormone Madness because that's all you know for now. One day you may get yourself in balance and find there's a much better way to live, love and be loved.

No, I'm not a man-hating feminist. I'm that terrific woman I described above, who appreciates and adores a good MAN and will do anything in the world for him becase he's earned it and he deserves nothing less.

I read this book after my girlfriend read it. She said she "felt alienated" and she stopped trusting me. After reading it myself, I was reminded of a previous experience with theories about men and sex. Freud believed that the desire to have sex with ones mother and kill one's father formed the "permanent stock of the psychic impulses which arise in early childhood." When I first read Freud, I was completely baffled by his theory. I couldn't imagine where he came up with it, until I discovered that he himself had lustful dreams of his mother. The moral of the story: don't take the advice of an overgeneralizing pervert.

I actually stumbled across this book a few days ago while perusing the shelves at my local library (!), searching for another hardback not remotely similar (but not altogether different, either) from this one. And when I read the title, I assumed (mistakenly) that it was just like Cosmopolitan Magazine ("69 Fantasies of the Man's Brain Exposed!"), but with a scholarly bent ("69 Secrets of the Male Psyche Explained!"). So, in dealing with the thought that I could use a few laughs, I proceeded to check out both books, receiving more than just a raised eyebrow from one of the desk clerks when she "accidentally" skimmed the titles of both my selections. Which, by the way, anyone who's ever checked out someone else at the register automatically does, whether they will admit it or not, and in three seconds flat figure they've got you pegged as to the type of person you are based on what you read.

Upon finishing the book last night (which, by the way, was far more interesting and insightful than the other title I had gone to the library for), I came to the conclusion that both men and women will either hate this book and throw it out the window onto their collective trash heap, or they will be amused at the humorous angle the authors (who mysteriously label themselves Smith and Doe) chose to present their research.

I find myself falling somewhere in the middle. While I do find some of the writing laugh-out-loud funny ("He who hides his farts hides much worse."), other portions of the book I find disconcerting because Smith and Doe pen their work in such a way that it stamps an unfair label on ALL men. Never, at any point, from cover to cover, to Smith and Doe say something along the lines of, "Only some men act this way, or experience those emotions, or have these fantasies." It is assumed that ALL men fall into this category and that we're all just a bunch of dirty-dogged, sex-craved, Masters of Masturbation.

The thing I find frustrating about this topic is that while so many men do indeed act this way (cheating on their girlfriends and wives, having sex with anything that moves, and fantasizing about who knows what), a lot of men DO NOT behave in this manner. Many of us are, and will continue to be, gentlemen in every sense of the word. And, yet, our good name gets dragged through the mud every time another one of our sleazeball cohorts does something to ignite the rage of a scorned woman. Then women wail on and on ("Where are all the decent men in the world?" and "Why can't I find a good man who will treat me right?") about the injustices they've suffered.

It's a sad fact that the bad things men do to women get more coverage than the wholesome things we do. How many gossip and celebrity magazines are on the market today that proclaim in big bold letters how great certain marriages are in Hollywood? That would be zero. Zilch. Nada. And, yet, you can readily pick up tabloids which proclaim "Nick Cheats on Jessica!" and "Jennifer Furious with Brad for Seducing Angelina!" and "Kevin Dumps Britney for Rival Pop Tartlet!"

It's exasperating for decent men everywhere that we've all been lumped together with the low-life pond scum of the universe. And the message from Smith and Doe is that, basically, all men are hardwired this way and there isn't a ding dong thing women can do about it.

So does this book have any redeeming qualities whatsoever? Is there anything about it that is salvageable and of some use to the world? Despite its worst intentions ("Men everywhere are the most fowl creatures on Earth - deal with it!"), this novel does have one saving grace to its name. And this is why, perhaps, it's still on a shelf at a library (or even made its way to the library in the first place). The final chapter, appropriately dubbed "A Faint Ray of Hope," does, at the very end, and right before the finishing line, offer both men and women a small sense of uplifting. This is where Smith and Doe seem to set aside all their propaganda boohockey and talk to readers as concerned and somewhat heartfelt human beings.

I wish this book would have been required reading in high school or college. Just the group discussion alone would have been worth it. Because, as dastardly as it can be at times, this is (believe it or not) a great book to talk about and to explores avenues that both sexes would just as quickly brush under the rug.

So men are attracted to beautiful young women. Big deal. Gasp. Tell me something else I don't know.

Guess what? Women are actually attracted to gorgeous men. Especially if they have large penises. Isn't that amazing?

To all the guys who reviewed this book: there are women who actually cheat on their husbands and/or boyfriends, too, did you know that? Did you ever think of it?

And since when does it have to be a woman's responsibility to keep her man from straying? She has no control over that whatsoever. Any more than a man has control over his woman cheating on him.

Get a grip, all of you. You too, Smith and Doe.

- RC a woman who believes in common sense