What Men Don't Tell Women About Business: Opening Up the Heavily Guarded Alpha Male Playbook [Hardcover]

Christopher V. Flett (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: October 26, 2007

Discover the deep, dark secrets of the Alpha businessman

As a woman, you know you're every bit as effective and capable as a man is in the arena of business-but that doesn't mean there aren't things you need to know about men and business. In this invaluable guide for the modern businesswoman, former Alpha Male Christopher Flett reveals everything you need to know to understand, communicate, and compete with men in business.

To some extent, business is still a man's world; here's how to play the game by their rules-and win:
*

Know what the average Alpha Male is thinking
*

Learn 10 things you need to know about men in business
*

Force men to take you seriously
*

Stop self-sabotage with male colleagues
*

Get all the credit you deserve
*

Be more confident and effective
*

Learn to take charge and lead
*

Never make excuses for failures
*

Keep secrets-it's vital
*

Never bring personal issues to the office
*

Gain credibility and trust with Alphas
*

Never look for affirmation openly
*

Effectively deal with condescending or disrespectful men
*

Understand why being "nice" gets you nowhere

Editorial Reviews

From the Inside Flap

What happens when a confessed "Young Alpha Male" decides to break the code of silence; give serious, ambitious women the scoop on how men view women in business; and explain everything women need to know about dealing with men professionally? Everybody wins!

In What Men Don't Tell Women about Business, dynamic young CEO and consultant Christopher Flett invites you into the cigar club for a frank and revealing conversation about what it takes for a woman to reach the top in the business world. His comments may surprise, shock, even offend you—but they will also prepare you for success in an environment still dominated by men.

You'll learn what drives men to succeed, what women do naturally that undermines their careers, why banding together with other women is a losing strategy, and how to show (or hide) emotion at work. You'll also find out how to gain and maintain the trust of male colleagues, overcome poor treatment or offensive comments, and make sure you get credit for your work without embarrassing or alienating the man (probably your boss) who's trying to take it all for himself.

Most importantly, you'll discover the one thing you can do, which all Alpha Males understand and many women don't, that will guarantee you the senior management position, partnership, or substantial pay raise that always seems to pass you by.

Among Flett's more provocative pronouncements are: men put the glass ceiling in place, but women keep it there; Alpha Males do fear women in business, but not strong women; women shouldn't petition for equality, they should assume control; women have a tendency to give up their power in the workplace; bruising a man's ego, even slightly, could ruin your career; and finally, though business isn't personal, your personal reputation means everything.

Perhaps the most surprising of Flett's revelations is that the modern business paradigm is far more amenable to female leadership than male. Women tend to be process-oriented consensus builders, while Alpha Males focus on immediate goals, performance, and distinguishing themselves from the crowd. Too many women, however, sabotage their careers by not knowing how to deal with dominant men professionally.

If you feel that your ideas are being ignored, your hard work is not appreciated, and less talented and dedicated people are being promoted ahead of you, read What Men Don't Tell Women about Business and discover the missing link between your current career and stunning success.

From the Back Cover

Discover the deep, dark secrets of the Alpha businessman

As a woman, you know you're every bit as effective and capable as a man is in the arena of business—but that doesn't mean there aren't things you need to know about men and business. In this invaluable guide for the modern businesswoman, former Alpha Male Christopher Flett reveals everything you need to know to understand, communicate, and compete with men in business.

To some extent, business is still a man's world; here's how to play the game by their rules—and win:

• Know what the average Alpha Male is thinking

• Learn 10 things you need to know about men in business

• Force men to take you seriously

• Stop self-sabotage with male colleagues

• Get all the credit you deserve

• Be more confident and effective

• Learn to take charge and lead

• Never make excuses for failures

• Keep secrets—it's vital

• Never bring personal issues to the office

• Gain credibility and trust with Alphas

• Never look for affirmation openly

• Effectively deal with condescending or disrespectful men

• Understand why being "nice" gets you nowhere

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Hardcover: 192 pages
• Publisher: Wiley; 1 edition (October 26, 2007)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0470145080
• ISBN-13: 978-0470145081
• Product Dimensions: 6.3 x 0.8 x 9.4 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (23 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #624,335 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

26 of 30 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Packed full of useful strategies, January 21, 2008

By 

Maria (Sydney, Australia) - See all my reviews

This review is from: What Men Don't Tell Women About Business: Opening Up the Heavily Guarded Alpha Male Playbook (Hardcover)

The bottom line for all women and "beta" males: This book is packed full of useful strategies we can all use in business and is worth every cent. I will be keeping it (hidden!) in my office from now on so I can easily refer back to it in difficult situations. This includes knowing how to deal with females as much as with alpha males.

The best: Getting inside the alpha male's mind was (for me at least) unbelievably shocking. My greatest strength is reading body language, so I always "knew" what they were really thinking but I refused to believe it until now. Chris has put into words what I've thought for a very long time. Having a much more typically male personality, I've always preferred to work with men and I have never had any issues. I bought this book because it was a suggested add-on to another book I was buying and thought it might be interesting; I'm glad I did. Perhaps the single most useful lesson I've learned from this book is to never make an alpha wrong. The strategies Chris lays out for dealing with obnoxious or simply misguided statements from alpha males diffuse the situations really well; they equip you for the common issues that many women face regardless of personality.

The worst: I almost stopped reading this book half way through because of the generalisations about women and beta males. Ultimately the useful strategies kept me going and I'm really pleased that they did because the second half of the book is even better.

What's missing: One thing that would make this book a lot better would be to integrate some theories of personality. Just like John Gray's "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus", Chris unfortunately lumps all women into the detail-oriented (as opposed to big-picture-oriented) and feeling-oriented (as opposed to thinking-oriented) categories. In the MBTI this would be the SF or Sensing Feeling types. He goes on to describe the Alpha male as what seems to be the NT group in MBTI (the iNtuitive Thinkers). As an INTJ myself I find the SF characterisation of all women blindingly annoying. We don't all focus on details, and we don't all cry when provoked... I too have sat in meetings (and worse, mother's groups) and felt like I'd rather stick a fork in my eye than listen to the endless details I don't care for. About three quarters of the way through this book I met with our HR manager about something and she was going on & on about some insignificant issue so I thought "How would Chris handle this?" and said "Okay, what's the end result - what do we need to do to solve this problem?" to which she replied & I was gone within a minute! Woo hoo! But it's not only women who do this. My father is an SJ (the prototypical detail-oriented organiser who Chris' alpha males would call a great "pile-on") and my mother is an ENTJ (most likely the pinnacle of the Alpha type). I am left wondering if Chris believes that alpha females learned the role rather than that they were NTs to begin with? Just like John Gray, Chris claims that men are wired to solve problems that women bring up. However that is a personality trait shared by most problem-solvers (all thinkers of which many are female). According to the description in Gray's book, I'm from Mars and my husband is from Venus!

9 of 9 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Time to Take a Look at Male Emotionalism, October 9, 2008

By 

Tricia Huff (Cincinnati, OH) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)   

This review is from: What Men Don't Tell Women About Business: Opening Up the Heavily Guarded Alpha Male Playbook (Hardcover)

I have to tell ya fella's-if you deep six a female colleague over some small criticism of your work performance-you are engaging in emotionalism.

We correctly label sobbing, hissy fits and cutthroat cattiness as emotionalism because they are extreme reactions based upon heightened, and often distorted, emotional perceptions. Curiously, we do not label the stereotypically male traits of aggression, verbal guerilla warfare, or compulsive competitiveness as emotionally based, even though they too are extreme responses with a heavy emotional component that often get in the way of business working smoothly. When I read the behaviors of "alpha males" described by Flett, such as hypersensitivity to criticism and constant status symbol oneupmanship, I begin to wonder why sensitivity and snottiness are considered feminine traits.

Flett is portraying the business world as he sees it, not justifying it, but if you are a woman these guys just look like jerks. Also, he seems to pick the worst examples of feminine workplace behavior, like sniveling and beating a dead horse, stuff that annoys women too.

Something that Flett does not consider is that since about 1920 each generation of American women have grown up and been shaped by vastly different economic and political conditions. I was born in 1969, and as a Gen-X woman, I could not identify with being a shrew, a whore, a bitch or a martyr. (I also failed the beginning chapter's 20 question femininity test designed to ferret out my stereotypically feminine attributes. I not only failed it. I flopped. I responded "no" to every question, therefore, per this test, I have no stereotypical womanly traits. This surprised me since I have a persisting fondness for make-up, shopping and skirts.)

Still, jerks and snivelers aside, this is an interesting read for all women engaged in the business world. The older ones will have validation of what they suspected was the truth behind men's business behavior. And younger women will have insight into not only men's perception of business, but into the behaviors of older women, who are now just as influential to the ambitious careerist. Men in business should read it for the wake up call - "Is this really how I want to act?"

12 of 15 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars A must read for every woman in the corporate world, and men too, December 1, 2007

By 

L. K. Stansbury - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: What Men Don't Tell Women About Business: Opening Up the Heavily Guarded Alpha Male Playbook (Hardcover)

WHAT MEN DON'T TELL WOMEN ABOUT BUSINESS is an insightful look into the inner sanctum of the business locker room. Learn what makes men tick, risk and retreat in the corporate world, and why women are often locked out of the real game. This book is not just for women who want to play to win in business. Every man who ever questioned his status, doubted his ego, wondered why his hard work and diligence never leads to real success, will find this an enlightening read.