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What Every Adoptive Parent Needs to Know: Healing Your Child's Wounded Heart

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While it is true that What Every Adoptive Parent Needs to Know specifically focusses on the experience of one couple and their two adopted children, this book contains meaningful and useful advice for all families and even for professionals who work with family dynamics. This is the story of Dan and Cassie Richards and their children, adopted from Korea in the 1970's. In chapters written alternatively by Dan or Cassie, the family's history unfolds through the years as Dan and Cassie struggle to cope with extreme psychological tensions they had never expected and do not at first understand. Their part of the narrative is extremely well written and absorbing. Be prepared to continue reading long past the point where you had thought to stop.

Interspersed with their story are the comments and evaluations of Kate Cremer-Vogel, the family therapist who has led the family toward healing. Her sections are filled with clarifications and practical advice. Her guidance in therapeutic parenting makes sense for any family and is pleasantly jargon-free.

This book is a gift to those whose interactions with loved ones are not what they ever expected or could even understand. As insights grow, so do empathy, hope, and love.

Therapeutic parenting techniques are what were needed in the 70s and 80s when myself and many other social workers were trying to deal with attachment disorder in older children we placed for adoption. This a great resource for adoption workers as well as adoptive parents and even natural parents dealing with similar issues.

It is painful reading about Cassie and Dan's struggles but with Kate's expertise they have learned so much about their children and their own childhoods and how to heal the hurt that has gone on for so long. The explanations that Kate has provided along the way as the family reveals their difficult time are invaluable.

The book should be required reading for adoption workers and prospective adoptive parents as well as private therapists who will encounter these issues in their practice from time to time.

I read a number of books about adoptive parenting during my career as executive director of an intercountry adoption agency and of a post adoption center. Leading workshops for parents and socal workers involved in adoption was an important part of my job. How I wish I had had this book then to recommend to parents and professionals alike! I would have encouraged everyone -- adoptive parents, adult adoptees, adoption professionals, and any parents raising children faced with difficult family situations -- to keep this book at hand and to refer to it often.

The Richards' life real life story makes compelling reading on it's own, but what makes this book extraordinary are the insights of a knowledgeable therapist interspersed throughout the narrative which help to explain what is going on. Then, in the second half of the book, the therapist elaborates on her earlier comments, leaving readers, not discouraged by the challenges facing familes with hurting children, but encouraged to use the tools provided by this book to successfully overcome the difficulties they might face in parenting a child with a "wounded heart".

This book recounts the trials one family endured after adopting a baby with attachment disorder. Though I have no personal experience with adoption, I found the book fascinating and incredibly readable. I imagine someone suffering similar difficulties might find this book to be, almost literally, a lifesaver. Throughout the text are comments from the counselor that briefly explain why the child is acting as she does, with references to later chapters, where more complete explanations are given. The final chapters are written by the counselor, who discusses not only the reasons for the child's behaviors, but also what parents can do to actually "heal" the disorder. The counselor also suggests that all parents should understand how their own childhoods impact their parenting skills. If I knew someone about to adopt a child, I would ask him or her to read this book. Doing so could save a lot of heartache.