Customer Reviews

What to Expect the First Year (What to Expect (Workman Publishing))

5 star:		(180)
4 star:		(52)
3 star:		(26)
2 star:		(18)
1 star:		(35)

 

 

I absolutely hated What to Expect When You're Expecting. Hated it. So when a friend gave me this book as a gift when I was pregnant, I kind of put it to the side, never expecting to use it.

Well, I surprised myself. I actually refer to this book a lot in caring for my now almost-6-month-old son.

What I like about the book is that the questions that it addresses are very much like real-life questions people ask about their babies. Some of the questions are word-for-word questions my husband and I have asked each other. That makes the information very accessible and I think, reassuring. You get a sense that "Oh good, my five-month-old is not the only one in the world who seems to be coughing just to get my attention."

There's a really comprehensive amount of information about nearly every parenting topic you can think of. In particular, the section about infant illness is invaluable. Great charts of symptoms and treatments for those symptoms, explanations about how to do home treatments, etc. My son has gotten a couple of colds, one of which brought on a croupy cough, and the book's advice about steam treatments and a quick trip outside helping were right-on, and exactly what my mom and grandma had told me worked to help croup. Without the book's specific description of what croup and stridor sound like, and how to treat it, I probably would have ended up in the emergency room with my son.

That being said, here are the things I don't like about this book.

- The information is supposedly unbiased, but the author comes down firmly on the pro or con side of an issue and there's not a lot of doubt about what the author feels you "should" or "should not" do. The author is against pacifiers, against co-sleeping, is much too cautionary about babywearing, and advocates CIO as a way to get a baby to sleep - there's a whole section about how to do CIO in the six-month chapter. The book is also very, VERY pro-breastfeeding. I breastfeed, so it didn't "bother" me, per se, but if a mom has to or chooses to formula feed, the constant references to breastfeeding and questions about breastfeeding that are found over and over and OVER in the book's pages would probably be a big turnoff. There's some lip service paid to "well, formula feeding is an OK choice" but there's a VERY clear and VERY strong message that you should breastfeed until your child is a year old, period. I know a lot of women who tried valiantly to breastfeed and just could not, and I have had my own challenges with it. I am all for breastfeeding advocacy and I consider myself an advocate for breastfeeding, but the tone and the repeated admonishments to breastfeed for a year were over-the-top even for me.

- The aforementioned section about CIO was pretty terrible. There were no discussions about ways to avoid CIO other than extended family bedsharing (which the author was lukewarm about recommending, at best), and there is a middle ground between the two. There was also no discussion about the fact that CIO doesn't work for all children - some kids are crying escalators, they don't calm down after crying for an extended period but instead get more upset, and trying CIO with a baby like that is going to be traumatizing for all involved. There's a pretty terrifying section that talks about how to deal with the noise of CIO, by notifying your neighbors, trying to muffle sound, etc. I just have to say, if your baby is crying that loud, that piercingly, and that long when you try CIO, you should consider the possibility that CIO is not working and is actually scaring or harming your child. CIO is a great tool for some kids, but not for all kids, and the book treats CIO like it is the cure-all for sleep problems. You get a sense, reading that section, that there really is no alternative to CIO other than having your baby sleep with you until they're 10, and there are other options (the No Cry Sleep Solution has some great suggestions about the sleep issue). There's also no discussion of the idea that nightwaking, especially for breastfed babies, is a developmentally normal and appropriate thing and will get better with time even without resorting to sleep training measures.

- The developmental milestones are treated as gospel truth and there is some alarmist information about "if your kid doesn't do X by Y month there could be a BIG PROBLEM." There's no discussion about what developmental milestones really mean in terms of development or the idea that babies can have developmental strengths in one area and weaknesses in another. My baby has always been WAY ahead in his gross motor development and lagging in his fine motor, which is a totally normal thing. But there's really no allowance for that, or explanation for why that would happen, in this book.

Overall I think this book is good and I don't think it's nearly as guilt- or panic-inducing as the Expecting book, or the Sears Baby Book (which is a whole other review). I think it's a worthwhile addition to the library of any new parent, if you can take some of the information in it with a grain of salt.

I wholeheartedly agree with the reviewers who found this book alarmist and overly one-sided on many issues. My pediatrician agrees, and instead recommends the American Academy of Pediatrics' CARING FOR YOUR BABY AND YOUNG CHILD, REVISED EDITION, BIRTH TO AGE 5. What to Expect is a great book as long as your child does everything exactly as the authors prescribe. Otherwise, you're up a creek. Today's example: My 8-month-old isn't incredibly interested in finger foods yet, and this book makes it sound like she's doomed to eat Gerber purees for the rest of her life as a result. It also suggested that I was setting her up for a childhood of poor eating habits. A new mom, of course I called my pediatrician and he said I had nothing to worry about! Go with the other book instead. Rather than month-to-month guidelines which make you feel like your child is "behind" if he doesn't do something "on time," the AAP book wisely speaks about 4-7 month-olds, 8-12 month-olds, etc., at once. The authors recognize that every baby proceeds at her own pace. (What to Expect puts in its disclaimer that every baby is different, but its tone on many topics suggests otherwise).

I bought this book as a resource for my first child. Although it has some useful information, it is very "middle of the road" and I felt it didn't go in depth enough with research and information I felt to be important. One *huge* area that is lacking is the breastfeeding information. They do not adequately explain the differences between breastfeeding and formula, and recommend weaning a child at 9mo. The AAP recomments nursing for *at least* a year, and the WHO (World Health Organization) recommends at least 2 years. In WTE, the authors indicate that if you don't wean by 9mo, a child will almost assuredly not wean at all or until much much later. This simply is inaccurate at best. Throughtout the book, the book is obviously biased towards a "doctor knows all" point of view. I suppose it's a good book for anyone who would like to know what the average doctor would tell her to do, but it's not a good book for anyone who likes to have a little more information and make her OWN informed choices. No one is perfect, and doctors certainly don't have *all* the information that makes them experts on childrearing in general. This book to me seemed like doctor propaganda.

Although there is definitely some good info in there, I feel that the biases (especially with regard to nursing) outweight the good that is in this book. I'd save your money on this one and look into other books for specific areas you are interested-- a nursing book for nursing, a child development book for child development, a medical guide for medical issues.

I cannot even believe how bad the advice is in this book. It is so outdated. It is one sided, it is horrible. I feel bad that this is available to new mothers. It goes against all motherly instinct. It talks about "spoiling" and how the baby manipulates at 6 and 7 months old. Babies do not manipulate. Babies cry because they have a NEED. If you meet their needs, they become secure and confident and independent. If you let them "cry it out" as this book recommends, they become clingy, insecure and more dependent. This book talks about primitive societies and how they carry their babies everywhere, and then states how our society is different and we need to push independence. I cannot stress this enough...Babies become independent when we meet their needs.If we ignore their needs, sure they will self soothe, but they will also lose trust, a very basic sense of trust that they are just learning to develop. I wear my babies everywhere, everyday. My now 3 year old is an amazing, confident, independent, secure kid. He slept through the night when HE was ready. I never forced these milestones on him. My 6 month old started sitting up on his own at 4 months, crawling at 5 months, and is now standing...and yes, I wear him like they do in "primitive societies" (rolling my eyes) He is sooo happy and smiling. He babbles up a storm. He does not manipulate me. He cries when he needs me, and it is my responsibility as a parent to meet his needs. DON"T BUY THIS HORRIBLE BOOK. I wish they would take it off the market.

The problem with the previous reviewer's comments is that she's looking at the older edition of the book. THe 2nd edition, published in 2003 clearly states on page 437:

"The AAP recommends that breastfeeding continue for AT LEAST a full year and then for as long as baby and mother both want to keep it up..... Many women choose to continue nursing into the second year and beyond, and that's fine.... Older children who breastfeed are just as likely to be secure, happy, and independent as those who wean early."

PLUS -- there's an entire chapter dedicated to breastfeeding... with tons of reasons why it's a good thing. So I don't get why so many reviewers here keep on blasting this book for not being pro-breastfeeding. This book is so well balanced on so many issues -- like co-sleeping and baby wearing, etc. Looking at a ten year old version of the book that's been passed down from friend to friend and then REVIEWING it here -- instead of actually going out to the store or library to get the actual current book is unfair.

This book has been so helpful to me. As a first time parent, this book had all the answers I needed. Sure, I may not agree with everything in the book, but I'm intelligent enough to not take everything I read and treat it as gospel. I'm able to make my own decision when it comes to parenting, and not only does this book give me the tools to do that, but the authors even encourage that parents ultimately do what feels best to them.

I highly recommend it!

This is a good parenting book to have in your library but it should definitely not be the only one. All parenting books have their own bias about co-sleeping and breastfeeding and this one was definitely biased against co-sleeping at all and breastfeeding after the 9th month or so. When I first brought my baby home from the hospital, the only way she would get a decent night's sleep is to sleep with us. Otherwise she cried and fussed the entire night. After two months she was ready to sleep in a cradle but initially we had to adjust our parenting style to include co-sleeping because it was the only thing that would comfort our daughter. If this was the only parenting book I owned I probably would've felt incredibly guilty about having done this--the section of this book that addresses co-sleeping has nothing but negative things to say about it. I found "Good Nights" and "Gentle Baby Care" (perhaps because they were written by attachment parenting advocates) to be very thorough about the topic, with plenty of practical advice.

As noted by other reviewers the book also contains some misleading information about breastfeeding and seems to assume that you'll begin weaning sooner than currently recommended by the govt.

I also found this book to be very poorly organized. Because all babies develop according to their own schedule, it doesn't really make sense to have much of the information organized chronologically. I read "What to Expect When You're Expecting" when I was pregnant and they advised you in the beginning not to "read ahead" so I was doing the same with this book until I realized that it wasn't answering most of my questions! I needed a babysitter when my daughter was two months but for some reason that section was stashed in the third month section! Why? So now I have read into the 10-month section even though my daughter is only 3.5 months because I'm wondering if there are other tidbits of information hidden away in there. And I expect I'll have to reread it all again when she's actually 10 months.

Finally, there was some conflicting information. I'm thinking of the alcohol and breastfeeding references in particular. At various points in the book it says to (a) have a single drink rarely if at all and then to wait two hours before nursing if you do have a drink, (b) have a drink just before nursing to "relax", (c) consult a doctor if you find yourself unable to stop at two drinks a day (what happened to the "rare" drink?!). And finally, it referenced no actual studies about the effects of alcohol on a nursing baby. For such a serious topic, it seemed amazing to me that they could have included so much conflicting information and no scientific backup.

And finally, as someone who is using cloth diapers, I was put off by the offhand remark that (to paraphrase) "in your mother's day, diapers were cleaned and boiled and reused and now people simply throw their diapers away." There is a significant percentage of people who actually use cloth diapers but to read this section you would never know it! This was just one of many cases of the authors assuming that everyone does or should do things their way.

All that said, the book did include good information about safety issues and child development and for these reasons I'm glad to have it on hand. The authors must seriously revise this book, however, for future editions.

I read this book after reading "What to Expect When You're Expecting" and was very disappointed. I liked "Expecting," most likely because while pregnancies differ, the biology is pretty much the same for everyone, so it's hard to miswrite pregnancy. However, after reading "First year" I have found myself overly concerned for no reason simply because a lot of what is in this book has not accurately described my child's behavior or abilities. I know the authors put out the disclaimer that every baby is different, but I'm not talking about when kids will walk or talk. I'm talking about their claim that babies can feel embarassment at the age of ten months or understand that I want my son to help clean up if I hand him a paper towel. Additionally, the book does not always offer a good answer to a question...the answer usually comes in the form of "some babies will, some babies won't." How is that helpful?!! After noting a string of inconsistencies and claims that are simply false, I finally had to put the book down or drive myself crazy. In long, I do not recommend this book to anyone, particularly a first time mother.

This book has everything. Now I do not suggest reading it prior to baby coming. I was scared out of my mind after reading parts of it, but once my son was here, I was no longer overwhelmed with the new responsibility, I loved the new responsibility - then it was good to read. This book goes over everything you need to know, things you need to look for, new parent checklists, how to pack, what to pack, what to do in case of emergencies, it goes over EVERYTHING!!! I love love love this book!!! Oh, and this book is for ALL new parents, including adopting new parents.

I would not recommend this book or the What to Expect series to anyone. It is written in a condescending tone, as if their methodology is surpreme. Any deviation from their model puts your child at risk of not learning to survive in the world.

In fact, much of what they have written is not based on research but on what they feel. As a breastfeeding mom, for example, I have learned from experience (and reliable info from La Leche League) that it is normal for my baby to go through phases of waking at night to nurse frequently. She needs the nutrition for growth spurts. If my husband and I were not the "softhearted and week-nerved" parents that the authors have called us, we'd have a baby who cries all night and feels abandoned. Instead, I do respond to her needs, 24 hours a day. We have a friendly and happy baby that is easy to take places and enjoys life (even going to the opera).

For as many pages as the book encompasses, it just doesn't tell you very much (as other reviewers have noted)! For a truly helpful and informative book, refer to the Mayo Clinic's Complete Guide to Pregnancy and Baby's First Year. (My ob/gyn recommened it to me.)

I bought this book partly because of its immense size (806 pages): I thought it would be a great reference book for me to look up anything I wanted to know about my baby during the first year. I must say that I am disappointed. It has a lot of pages because it is too wordy. Every chapter has a section on every day questions that any parent may have about their baby's development. But I find too many of these to be trivial. Or worse, far too often, the response is in essence: it's probably not a big deal, but if you are really concerned, check with your doctor. That's hardly a revelation. The book is broken into chapters for each month of your baby's first year, which I initially found very attractive. However, some of the information seems oddly placed. For example, there is a section on choosing the right child care or day care in the chapter of the third month. Where I live, day cares have 6 month waiting lists; it's something you need to be thinking about way before the third month. I also wish the book had more pictures. For someone like me who had never changed a diaper or swaddled a baby, I found the pictures and descriptions insufficient. Fortunately, I found better explainations in other books. Don't misunderstand me. Though the book takes a long time to read, it does have tons of useful information. However, it is not as comprehensive as I had hoped. For example, I had heard that babies cannot see colors when they were born, so I wanted to know if that is true, and if so, when they do start seeing colors. The book did not have a good explaination. It basically said babies enjoy contrasting colors. I had to go to another source to find the real answer. I think this is a good book, but you will need another source of information to get the full story on what to expect from your newborn.