Customer Reviews

What to Expect: the Toddler Years

5 star:		(84)
4 star:		(34)
3 star:		(24)
2 star:		(20)
1 star:		(26)

 

 

I have the whole 'series' and while I found the pregnancy and 1st year books helpful, I hardly ever used this book. The month by month format is helpful for babies/pregnancy, but toddlers don't really change month by month as drastically, so I disliked the organization. I agree with another reviewer that there is a bias/agenda to wean by 1 year and if you are into attachment parenting, this book doesn't fall in line with that at all. I just find it too broad and it hardly ever gave me the answers I wanted.

DO NOT BUY THIS BOOK. There are many, many other books out there that will provide sound advice for raising your toddler. This book is awful. Here are some of the reasons why:

1. It is poorly organized and extremely difficult to find particular issues of interest if you are seeking advice on a specific subject. If you do find it in the index, the issue is probably discussed on 10 different pages so you have to flip around from one section to another in the hope that at least one of those pages will address the point on which you need guidance.

2. It is WAY TOO LONG. Don't be fooled that the weight of this book or number of pages means you will be getting more information than other books. Every single "question" topic begins with a wordy and pointless paragraph that doesn't provide any insight or advice before even attempting to start getting to the point. Only about 10% of this book actually provides useful, substantive information. As a parent of a toddler, I don't have time to search through the authors' ramblings in the hope they will ultimately get to the point. It is extremely frustrating.

3. The authors feel the need to "preach" their particular political position on various issues over and over and over again. Even if you agree with them, it's totally unnecessary. For example, they include discussions about the importance of teaching your child to recycle and respect the earth. OK, fine. But they then raise this point over and over when it is a totally unnecessary (NAGGING) aside - like when talking about placing a cover on the floor so your child can enjoy a messy art project, they mention newspaper as a possible cover but can't resist adding "(you can recycle it later)." It is annoying.

4. Almost 100% of the advice they give is worthless because they always add caveats. For example, they will say something like "be sure to praise your child so he will develop good self esteem" only to follow shortly thereafter by saying "but don't praise him too much or he'll think your opinion is meaningless or will develop an inflated ego." Another exmple, "set limits for your child so she will be less likely to have tantrums" followed by "don't set too many limits or your child will feel stifled." You spend hours reading the book, and are still left as clueless as you were before you started.

5. Much of the "advice" is ridiculously self-evident. Do you really need to be told that physical affection is important for a toddler?

6. Some of the advice is contradictory. For example, they recommend against any television for young children, but then talk about ways of distracting them from a tantrum by acting out a favorite TV character's voice or a song from a TV show.

7. The authors expect you to be an absolutely perfect parent and always say and do the right thing and never lose patience with your toddler's fifth tantrum of the day. You need realistic advice to deal with the real world.

Don't waste your money here. Find a book written by authors who are not so self indulgent and who are more interested in giving you direct and useful advice without all of the meaningless blabber.

I was very eager to read this book, but was left disappointed after just 10 minutes of reading. The authors' views seem obviously self-serving and painfully narrow-minded. I wanted something that had more of an inclusive approach to parenting. As a mother who still breastfeeds her daughter, who is 13 months old, this book has absolutely nothing encouraging or useful for me. Heaven forbid if your child doesn't sleep through the night. You are a complete loser - at least in this book's opinion - if your child has any night wakings and you attend to them. As one of the questions reads: "Our toddler is still waking up in the middle of the night. We've been cowardly about letting her cry it out up until now...." Cowardly! This was the last straw for me. I wanted real testimonials from parents who've experienced the full spectrum of problems from sleeping to eating and how they solved these issues. This book gives lazy answers that leave you not only in the dark, but annoyed that you wasted your time with this book.

I recently purchased this large and informative book (I have a 2.5 year old). I should have bought it sooner, it is filled with a lot of great ideas on all areas of toddlerhood. And all us parents of toddlers know that the "terrible two's" can start way before the child is 2!

Everyone's child and everyone's parenting is a bit different, so it is hard to guarantee that you will love this book. However, this book covers almost every topic imaginable for toddlerhood and I have found many of the ideas useful and much of the information helpful. It is a good reference tool for parents during a stage in a child's life that can seem pretty hard.

as in Eisenberg's earlier books, "What to Expect When You're Expecting" and "What to Expect The First Year."

Like those two volumes, "What to Expect Toddler Years" is arranged month-by-month. This doesn't work as well since toddler development is much less predictable and more individualistic than infants development; hence, the issue in question might be found in "The Twentieth Month" even though your toddler is only, say, 15 months old. Also, the monthly "milestone" lists for toddlers are guaranteed to make you neurotic, as toddler development is much more individual than infant development.

However, the book contains a lot of great information and advice. I think it would have been better to organize it into sections such as "Feeding," "Discipline," "Sleeping," "Playtime," etc., rather than trying to break it down month-by-month, but taken as a whole it is a valuable reference. Just don't panic if your 13-month-old is already throwing tantrums and they aren't addressed til Month 24, and if your 18-month-old still hasn't mastered a spoon even though the list says she "should" be able to do it by now.

I have What to expect when expecting and the first year, and loved them. So I naturally bought this one when the time came. I am so disapointed in it. On more than one occasion I have gone to it with a question or problem and have found nothing about it. Simple stuff too. But they tend to cover more obscure subjects. I have no idea where they have gotten their "questions." I have found this book shoved under the nightstand for months, whereas the other two were practically under my arms 24/7. When I do take it out because I have a concern, 9 times out of 10, it hasn't helped a bit. I am now searching for a new book that will give me some piece of mind.

This book is an excellent reference for any medical concerns a parent might have, and also does well in addressing concerns such as diet, exercise, and TV watching. However, too often the authors' advice reflects western parenting prejudice and does not present research representing opposing viewpoints--although it pretends to do so. For instance, in the 13th month or so, a hypothetical question is, "Why should I wean my baby if we're both enjoying nursing still?" The reply? "Oh, you don't have to...it's your choice...but here's all the reasons why you should." And then they go on to list twelve benefits of early weaning and absolutely none of the benefits of nursing a toddler! If the authors gave even the tiniest disclaimer ("In our opinion...") I wouldn't be so hard about this, but they present every answer as gospel truth.

In other words, whether or not you will benefit from this book depends on the state of your parenting philosophy. I prefer "The Baby Book" for advice about toddler behavior and needs.

I really liked the other "What to Expect" books, and was 'expecting' to like this one, but I was disappointed. "What to Expect the First Year" is a far better book, with useful info about development and care of a baby. "What to Expect the Toddler Years" is more of a collection of common sense advice that hardly warrants the price tag. For example, one of the "questions" handled is: "is it okay to kiss our daughter on the lips?" The answer given is: "if you are comfortable with that, it's fine. If you're not, don't do it." Most of the book is like this. Another example: the authors advise readers that if they find their toddler sticking something dangerous in his nose or ear, they object should be taken away and the toddler told why they can't do that. Do people really need to be told this stuff? I found myself rolling my eyes at many of the Q & A topics in the book. The monthly guide of milestones of development that your toddler should be reaching each month is useful, but other than that, I found this book a waste of my time and money.

This book does an ok job of covering the medical and developmental topics, but let's face it: most questions we all have about toddlers involve behavior! I followed their advice for 6 months, and in retrospect feel that they too frequently make parents feel that we risk harming our toddlers self esteem by setting firm boundaries. In general, I feel their philosophy is too wimpy. They even say that some kids are just unhappy/grumpy by nature and that you can't do anything about it. I strongly disagree, and after purchasing a few more parenting books, feel that my son is so much happier, communicates with me better, and I enjoy being a mother so much more! There are no right/wrong answers to parenting toddlers, but this book is way too wimpy and submissive when addressing very little people with big opinions.

In my experience as an early childhood teacher, toddlers and early preschoolers are similar in the basic parenting needs. Getting them to become independent is a good policy as long as it doesn't go over board. Why can't kids stay kids a little longer? This book has some excellent ideas but very little that parents can contribute as a reference towards the beginning stages towards emerging into early preschool. Toddlers learn so quickly and many enter a parent's day out program at 18-months-old. The book is a little behind. For parents who would like a book to take them from one reference to another beginning stage, I'd recommend a book we just finished in a parenting class: "Mommy-CEO." This gives 5 golden rules parents can use from infants to teens and we can go back again and again to pick up tips. It's different than Eisenberg and Murkoff's book because it tells us in simple terms exactly how to promote and motivate acceptable behavior from toddlers to teens from parents who have had success. Eisenberg's toddler book is fair to medium in today's fast track families.