What French Women Know: About Love, Sex, and Other Matters of the Heart and Mind [Hardcover]

Debra Ollivier (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: September 3, 2009

A primer on the ineffable, je ne sais quoi appeal of the French woman.

I t's not the shoes, the scarves, or the lipstick that gives French women their allure. It's this: French women don't give a damn. They don't expect men to understand them. They don't care about being liked or being like everyone else. They generally reject notions of packaged beauty. They accept the passage of time, celebrate the immediacy of pleasure, like to break rules, embrace ambiguity and imperfection, and prefer having a life to making a living. They are, in other words, completely unlike us.

Ollivier goes beyond familiar ooh-la-la stereotypes about French women, challenging cherished notions about sex, love, dating, marriage, motherhood, raising children, body politics, seduction, and flirtation. Less a how-to and more a how-not-to, What French Women Know offers a refreshing counterpoint to the stale love dogma of our times. Peppered with anecdotes from its Franco-American author and filled with provocative ideas from French sexperts, mistresses and maidens alike, it debunks longstanding myths, presenting savvy new thinking from an old sexy culture and more realistic, life-affirming alternatives from the land that knows how to love.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

American-born Francophile Ollivier follows up Entre Nous: A Woman's Guide to Finding Her Inner French Girl with a volume largely concerned with uncovering the behavior and lifestyle of the secretive French woman. For instance, Ollivier pointedly debunks the myth that French women deprive themselves of fattening foods and drink in order to maintain a suitable weight, but reveals that French women are masters of portion control. She also recounts instances with her French counterparts-she lived there for 10 years, has a French husband, and divides her time between L.A. and Paris-in which she came to the realization that, in France, women genuinely love men, and vice versa; both strive for more compatibility between the sexes, radically diminishing the "battle of the sexes" mentality so commonplace in American society. Intriguingly, Ollivier contrasts the French desire for mystery against the American need for knowledge and control, finding in the discrepancy a possible reason for the ever-escalating American divorce rate. Ollivier is sure to dazzle any reader with a fondness for French women with this batch of anecdotes and corresponding hypotheses, drizzled with a winning combination of sarcasm and wit.
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About the Author

Debra Olivier lived in France for ten years, during which time she married her French husband and had two children. She was a frequent contributor to Salon and Le Monde, and her work has also appeared in The Guardian, Playboy, Les Inrockuptibles, and Harper's. She is also the author of Entre Nous: A Woman's Guide to Finding Her Inner French Girl.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Hardcover: 256 pages
• Publisher: Putnam Adult (September 3, 2009)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0399155627
• ISBN-13: 978-0399155628
• Product Dimensions: 8.3 x 5.7 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 12.8 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 3.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (52 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #275,971 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Debra Ollivier has written for Salon, Harpers, Playboy, Le Monde, and a variety of other publications. She's a California girl who married a Frenchman and lived in France, where her children were born, for a decade. She now lives in Los Angeles.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

37 of 40 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Thought provoking and fun, August 27, 2009

By 

Sharilyn - See all my reviews

This review is from: What French Women Know: About Love, Sex, and Other Matters of the Heart and Mind (Hardcover)

(What's this?)

What French Women Know examines the differences between French and Anglo-Saxon attitudes towards love, sex and life in general. This is no dry in-depth cultural study. Rather it is smart, sassy and at times downright funny overview of opposing viewpoints.

Debra Ollivier extols the virtues of the French's devil-may-care, savour the moment philosophy, a stark contrast to American women's tireless pursuit of perfection. The book isn't really preachy, but the author makes her point very clear: the allure of French women is largely based on their capacity to keep their lipstick on as they roll with the punches.

This is a refreshing alternative to the "try harder, do more" manta of most women's self-help books. While I have no intention of moving to France or ceasing to shave my armpits, I do agree that it would be nice if we Americans knew the difference between making a living and having a life. Perhaps we would be happier if we took a few lessons from our French sisters and cultivated an air of mystery, acted our age, broke a few rules and flirted with more men.

4.5 stars

20 of 20 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars An Enjoyable Read!, April 11, 2010

By 

P. Greer (Soddy-Daisy, TN USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: What French Women Know: About Love, Sex, and Other Matters of the Heart and Mind (Hardcover)

I admit it. I find French women fascinating. What's funny is that I don't even know any. Oh, but I've heard about them, and read about them, and tried desperately to try and learn to tie a scarf with panache. So when I stumbled upon, What French Women Know: About Love, Sex, and Other Matters of the Heart and Mind by Debra Ollivier, I didn't even think twice before adding it to my cart.

I've read lot's of books about French women, from what they wear to what they eat. This book was different. It delved more into why they are what they are. More than that, it helped me see why, as an American, I am what I am.

Like most other American girls, I grew up wanting to be like everyone else. Wanting to fit in, wanting to be liked. French women don't want to be like everyone else, they want to stand out, they want to add their individual touches. And as far as being liked....they don't care. They don't feel the need to be nice, to go around smiling at everyone.

Another interesting area was in child rearing. They are much more inclined to try and raise independent children. The author talks of the day care that her two year old attended. The daycare was taking the two year olds off on a two day field trip! The French parents all let their children go and enjoyed a lovely two days relaxing with their husbands, while none of the American women would let their children go.

All in all, I enjoyed this book. Do I think that French women are better than me? No. Do I think I am better than French women? No. Do I think that perhaps we could learn from each other? Yes?

16 of 16 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars It is Attitude Mon Cherie!, November 24, 2009

By 

Lee Mellott "Skin Care For Wrinkles" (Frederick, Maryland) - See all my reviews
(TOP 1000 REVIEWER)    (VINE VOICE)   

This review is from: What French Women Know: About Love, Sex, and Other Matters of the Heart and Mind (Hardcover)

(What's this?)

It is always interesting to read how different cultures perceive life. According to author Ollivier, French women celebrate individual beauty, know how to handle the differences between men and women, embrace their own rules, don't mind a lack of perfection and enhance their femininity.

Ollivier shares how French women use these skills to their advantage. Clearly in many ways many French women have learned to live a life of enjoyment and acceptance instead of striving for a non attainable perfection and focusing on the negative.

In her book Ollivier points out the ways a French woman might perceive something vs. how an American woman might. This is not to say a French woman's way is better, it is just different.

For example, if a daughter bought her boyfriend home for the first time an American might give him the third degree immediately while the French would be loathe to ask personal questions. Which way is right depends on your thinking.

But what is so interesting is how it boils down to our approach to things and attitude. If you are unhappy with how things are for you now or want a little attitude change checking out the book may give you fresh ideas on how to approach things. Then again if all is working for you, no need for a book to learn about "What French Women Know" unless you want to know what they know just so you know :)

~ Lee Mellott