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What French Women Know: About Love, Sex, and Other Matters of the Heart and Mind [Paperback]

Debra Ollivier
3.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (57 customer reviews)

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Book Description

September 7, 2010
The Los Angeles Times bestseller! "A Gallic prescription for living a life that is richer, more sensual, messier, and a lot more fun" (Boston Globe)

It's not the shoes, the scarves, or the lipstick that gives French women their allure. It's this: French women don't give a damn. They don't expect men to understand them. They don't care about being liked or being like everyone else. They accept the passage of time, celebrate the immediacy of pleasure, embrace ambiguity and imperfection, and prefer having a life to making a living.

In What French Women Know, Debra Ollivier goes beyond stale ooh- la-la stereotypes, challenging ingrained notions about sex, love, marriage, motherhood, and everything in between. With savvy, provocative thinking from French mistresses and maidens alike, Ollivier presents a refreshing counterpoint to the tired love dogma of our times, and offers realistic, liberating alternatives from the land that knows how to love.


Frequently Bought Together

What French Women Know: About Love, Sex, and Other Matters of the Heart and Mind + Entre Nous: A Woman's Guide to Finding Her Inner French Girl + All You Need to Be Impossibly French: A Witty Investigation into the Lives, Lusts, and Little Secrets of French Women
Price for all three: $37.89

Buy the selected items together


Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

American-born Francophile Ollivier follows up Entre Nous: A Woman's Guide to Finding Her Inner French Girl with a volume largely concerned with uncovering the behavior and lifestyle of the secretive French woman. For instance, Ollivier pointedly debunks the myth that French women deprive themselves of fattening foods and drink in order to maintain a suitable weight, but reveals that French women are masters of portion control. She also recounts instances with her French counterparts-she lived there for 10 years, has a French husband, and divides her time between L.A. and Paris-in which she came to the realization that, in France, women genuinely love men, and vice versa; both strive for more compatibility between the sexes, radically diminishing the "battle of the sexes" mentality so commonplace in American society. Intriguingly, Ollivier contrasts the French desire for mystery against the American need for knowledge and control, finding in the discrepancy a possible reason for the ever-escalating American divorce rate. Ollivier is sure to dazzle any reader with a fondness for French women with this batch of anecdotes and corresponding hypotheses, drizzled with a winning combination of sarcasm and wit.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Review

Try it out for Gallic girl attitude GLAMOUR DAILY MAIL 'If you are in the mood for witty tongue-in-cheek non-fiction read WHAT FRENCH WOMEN KNOW by Debra Ollivier' Gabriela Popa, HUFFINGTON POST --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Product Details

  • Paperback: 272 pages
  • Publisher: Berkley Trade (September 7, 2010)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 042523648X
  • ISBN-13: 978-0425236482
  • Product Dimensions: 0.7 x 5.5 x 8.1 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 3.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (57 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #48,547 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Debra Ollivier has written for Salon, Harpers, Playboy, Le Monde, and a variety of other publications. She's a California girl who married a Frenchman and lived in France, where her children were born, for a decade. She now lives in Los Angeles.

Customer Reviews

The book was very well written and insightful. Irv Kaage  |  9 reviewers made a similar statement
Very shallow generalization of both cultures. Fifi  |  7 reviewers made a similar statement
Again nothing about the value of a good education for French women in the book. Beth DeRoos  |  6 reviewers made a similar statement
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
44 of 44 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars An Enjoyable Read! April 11, 2010
Format:Hardcover
I admit it. I find French women fascinating. What's funny is that I don't even know any. Oh, but I've heard about them, and read about them, and tried desperately to try and learn to tie a scarf with panache. So when I stumbled upon, What French Women Know: About Love, Sex, and Other Matters of the Heart and Mind by Debra Ollivier, I didn't even think twice before adding it to my cart.

I've read lot's of books about French women, from what they wear to what they eat. This book was different. It delved more into why they are what they are. More than that, it helped me see why, as an American, I am what I am.

Like most other American girls, I grew up wanting to be like everyone else. Wanting to fit in, wanting to be liked. French women don't want to be like everyone else, they want to stand out, they want to add their individual touches. And as far as being liked....they don't care. They don't feel the need to be nice, to go around smiling at everyone.

Another interesting area was in child rearing. They are much more inclined to try and raise independent children. The author talks of the day care that her two year old attended. The daycare was taking the two year olds off on a two day field trip! The French parents all let their children go and enjoyed a lovely two days relaxing with their husbands, while none of the American women would let their children go.

All in all, I enjoyed this book. Do I think that French women are better than me? No. Do I think I am better than French women? No. Do I think that perhaps we could learn from each other? Yes?
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50 of 53 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Thought provoking and fun August 27, 2009
Format:Hardcover|Amazon Vine™ Review (What's this?)
What French Women Know examines the differences between French and Anglo-Saxon attitudes towards love, sex and life in general. This is no dry in-depth cultural study. Rather it is smart, sassy and at times downright funny overview of opposing viewpoints.

Debra Ollivier extols the virtues of the French's devil-may-care, savour the moment philosophy, a stark contrast to American women's tireless pursuit of perfection. The book isn't really preachy, but the author makes her point very clear: the allure of French women is largely based on their capacity to keep their lipstick on as they roll with the punches.

This is a refreshing alternative to the "try harder, do more" manta of most women's self-help books. While I have no intention of moving to France or ceasing to shave my armpits, I do agree that it would be nice if we Americans knew the difference between making a living and having a life. Perhaps we would be happier if we took a few lessons from our French sisters and cultivated an air of mystery, acted our age, broke a few rules and flirted with more men.

4.5 stars
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25 of 25 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars It is Attitude Mon Cherie! November 24, 2009
Format:Hardcover|Amazon Vine™ Review (What's this?)
It is always interesting to read how different cultures perceive life. According to author Ollivier, French women celebrate individual beauty, know how to handle the differences between men and women, embrace their own rules, don't mind a lack of perfection and enhance their femininity.

Ollivier shares how French women use these skills to their advantage. Clearly in many ways many French women have learned to live a life of enjoyment and acceptance instead of striving for a non attainable perfection and focusing on the negative.

In her book Ollivier points out the ways a French woman might perceive something vs. how an American woman might. This is not to say a French woman's way is better, it is just different.

For example, if a daughter bought her boyfriend home for the first time an American might give him the third degree immediately while the French would be loathe to ask personal questions. Which way is right depends on your thinking.

But what is so interesting is how it boils down to our approach to things and attitude. If you are unhappy with how things are for you now or want a little attitude change checking out the book may give you fresh ideas on how to approach things. Then again if all is working for you, no need for a book to learn about "What French Women Know" unless you want to know what they know just so you know :)

~ Lee Mellott
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26 of 27 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars How French Women Seem When You're from LA September 27, 2011
By BLB
Format:Paperback
First off, be aware that the author is from Southern California and was apparently raised with so little culinary knowledge that she was impressed to find that a pie crust can be made from graham crackers and butter and that a man does not have to have gone to culinary school in order to know how to devein a duck liver. She was also raised in an atmosphere in which girls are raised to live in order to spend most of their social time in the company of other women, frantically trying to gain the approval of other women. No wonder France bowled her over.

If you are a woman who actually prefers the company of men, women who like men and flirting with men, and women who are nevertheless perfectly happy not being men, then you already know nearly half of what it took for French women to impress the author. The other half is fun to read, but be warned that the author commits the common Southern Californian sin of throwing her whole allegiance unquestioningly behind her current fad in intellectual thinking.

In other words, this is not a deeply thought-out work of comparing and contrasting French and American attitudes. It is a book about why the French amazed and charmed a Californian enough that she has become a French citizen. Even if you're not ready to drink the Kool-Aid--or should it be Orangina?--you might enjoy the safari.

Be warned: the audiobook is read by the author, not a professional voice actor. Be prepared to enjoy/suffer accordingly.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
2.0 out of 5 stars Meh...
I have a bizarre interest in French culture and style (also Scientology, Mormonism and the pharmaceutical industry) so I'm a sucker for any book that starts with "What French... Read more
Published 5 days ago by Suzanna
4.0 out of 5 stars An Intelligent American Eye on French Women and Romantic Notions
Debra Ollivier did the fieldwork and did it very well. I appreciate the subtle insights she develops in the contrast with American love norms. Read more
Published 7 days ago by J. Stallings
5.0 out of 5 stars Worth the Read
I, like many other reviewers, bought Ollivier's first book on the subject-Entre Nous. Since I enjoyed that book so much I decided to also purchase this one. Read more
Published 2 months ago by dreaming of the sun
2.0 out of 5 stars hmmm not what i expected
I couldn't go past the first chapter. Her words are too fancy for me. I like to learn new words but having a dictionary by me the whole time made me feel like I was reading a... Read more
Published 2 months ago by Amparo Castillo
5.0 out of 5 stars This should be required reading in college...
Learning that the traditional one on one dating method completely does not work... really makes sense now. (lots of other great insight). Read more
Published 4 months ago by Steve T. Soderstrom
5.0 out of 5 stars Olivier charms, delights, and playfully teaches with a French flair
I love this book. Olivier is an incredible writer --- with a style that is not only creative and intelligent, but colorful and hilarious. Read more
Published 4 months ago by Sirsa Shekim
5.0 out of 5 stars Wow! What a Great Bunch of Ideas
A friend told me about this book and I wanted to read it myself. Having lived in France for 5 years it all made a ton of sense to me, and actually.... Read more
Published 4 months ago by Sara Alexander
2.0 out of 5 stars Dull and repetitive
I had read Ms Ollivier's previous book and while I had a few qualms with it, I thought it was overall an enjoyable book. Read more
Published 17 months ago by claudiaudia
5.0 out of 5 stars A refreshing look on life, and a very entertaining read.
This book offers much more than a French outlook on love and sex, it speaks of a way of life that is worth living. Read more
Published 18 months ago by EJ88
5.0 out of 5 stars Now We Know Too!
For those of us of a "certain age," this book is very encouraging. The French appreciate the mature woman. Read more
Published 18 months ago by E. L. Anderson
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