Customer Reviews

What Goes Up: Surviving the Manic Episode of a Loved One

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God bless Judy Eron for sharing what she experienced and learned during her bipolar husband's manic episode. I bought this book for some friends, a long-time married couple who have dealt with bipolar disorder for many years. After giving it a favorable review, they loaned it back to me. I was eager to read it, hoping it would help me understand what they've been going through.

Well, what a nightmare. For me, the most terrifying thing about this story is that the author and her husband were both mental health professionals! If _they_ didn't know what to do, how in the world would the rest of us be able to recognize or deal with someone going through this?!

There's no happy ending or quick fixes here, but Eron helps us understand a manic person's distorted way of thinking, how it's important not to get drawn into that person's (paranoid) delusions, and what strategies may or may not be helpful. For example, I was surprised that an "intervention," which would have seemed an obvious choice to me, in fact only fed her husband's anger and paranoia and pushed him farther away from accepting help.

I used to think that manic meant really happy. Now, sadly, I know better.

I read this book in awe. She experienced many of that same things I thought were unique to my situation. I wish I had found this book a year ago when in my own "bad year" with my husband. If you love someone who is bipolar and manic, this is for you. There are more resources out there to help you through the depressive part, but for someone who has one who is more manic in their life, this book is invaluable. I plan on buying several copies to "lend" to friends and family who don't really "get it". Maybe they can see it explained about a third party better than for someone they know and love and then finally get past the denial (the bipolar person isn't the only one to suffer from denial)!

"What Goes Up" is intelligent and thoughtful. How can a reader's heart not go out to Judy Eron as she chronicles with grace and compassion such a personal tragedy? Many of us know or sometimes encounter others who are bipolar, and this book helps explain not only their struggle but how we might be better prepared for our interactions with them.

This is an excellent resource for family members living with a person who is bipolar. Judy Enron explores the manic episodes
of a loved one who goes without his medication and also the downward depression spiral. I admire the candidness of the author.

Having been diagnosed bipolar, you often wonder how your illness is viewed by those closest to you. Judy does this in this book. I read this book together with my husband. For my husband it was a sort of validation of how he is often left worried and helpless in our situation. For me it was an eye opener to what spouses endure during a crisis. I will be forever reminded the importance of having a good support system in place for my family. It also reinforced that dilligent medication, therapy, love and understanding is so important in maintaining a functionable life. This book not only was helpful to us as a family but to my doctor who found it to be a true testament of the torment that a bipolar family endures. A must read. You will not be disappointed. North Polar Skip

This book helped me to understand, and how to cope with a best friend's manic episode. Very insightful. It talked about many situations that have occurred with my friend. It helped me to see the other side of darkness in my otherwise bright world.

This is one of the best written and enjoyable (if this illness can be described as such) books on this subject. I have reread the book many times. After having an experience (and wishing he would "return"), I lived this book a thousand times in my life. From the moment she describes Jim telling her he "disappears" I knew I had a friend. Someone who finally understood what how we love without falling into societies "norm". Judy describes love without fear, and love letting go which is love without the boundaries many place on relationships. I won't even loan this book out of my library for fear it won't be returned.

This open and sharing book "What Goes up ... Surviving the Manic Episode of a Loved One", is a brave offering that should be read by anyone who cares for any of these poor souls; we all need any help we can get; they need even more.

This is a very well written story of one couple's struggle with bipolar illness that is compared and contrasted with other examples as the author tries to make sense of the madness or at least find out how to best deal with it.

I can (personally) only add that every case and every episode (up or down) is unique and nothing is certain until it's too late but as long as there is life there is hope.

Even after thirty years with a bipolar relative, I still learned many things from this book. I highly recommend it for every person who has loved one who suffers from this illness. But, do not stop there, because there are risks of overmedication and differences with the change of life that women go through that can bring out other aspects of the illness.

I have not listed many details from this book because if you need to read it, then you need to read it all; and more.

Thank you Judy Eron, for bravely sharing.

I am so sorry for Judy Eron's loss & horrified that her husband killed himself. Being a therapist doesn't guarantee success in dealing with this brain disease. According to the NIMH, people with bipolar disorder are twice as likely to commit suicide than those with depression. I think that's because the person remembers the ecstacy while slammed down by depression & fears s/he will never be happy again. There IS hope for couples dealing with manic-depression. I would highly recommend that everyone read Kay Redfield-Jamison's books on brain disorders (Ms. Eron quotes her several times in this book). Ms. R-Jamison has manic-depression & is an MD. Her book "An Unquiet Mind" spoke to me when I was in a severely manic state. I want to continue with less a review than encouragement from a person who has this brain disorder. There are much better medications than Lithium now. The main problem is the Stigma attached to this disease. People would rather suffer than admit to a problem. Recent publicity with Tom Cruise denouncing Brooke Shields for seeking help for her post-partum depression adds to the Stigma. As Ms. Eron says, it shouldn't be more embarassing to have manic-depression than to have diabetes. But it is something that people are uneducated about & I thank Ms. Eron for trying to help others understand. It is amazing how clearly she wrote of her tragic loss. The list of advice at the end of the book is truly helpful. But the experience she had with her husband is not how it has to be. I suffered severe mania all my life (as a baby, I'd scream & wriggle ceaslessly & not sleep unless the room was completely dark/quiet)--my poor parents! The manic state isn't all delightful, as many people think. The inability to sleep is hellish. The need to be constantly on the move is exhausting. It feels like you are running a marathon 24/7. I wasn't diagnosed until age 43 because in my youthful manias, I was highly productive, a great student, an excellent worker. I was charismatic & my husband says "outrageously attractive." The super active states never ended in depressions for me--they always resulted in me being physically ill with high fevers & strep throat. Doctors never had a clue. They thought I was a "Type A" person who was physically ill from over-doing. However, reading biographies of people like Lord Byron, I'd say to my college friends: "That's me! I'm manic-depressive." Two college pals majoring in psychology (one went on to become a PhD psychotherapist) agreed with my self-diagnosis. But every therapist I saw said "No, you're highly creative & creative people are always different." At age 43, the manias got worse until I couldn't sleep at all. Like Judy Eron, my husband would get up at 2:00, 3:00 & I'd be dancing with no music on (except in my head.) My heart was racing & I "heard" willow trees telling me to live outdoors. I did this, dancing under starry skies in ecstacy. Homeless men would tell me "You ain't safe out here, Ma'm." I was obsessed with collecting bright bits of paper off kiosks & arranging them into mosaics. I did produce some beautiful art in manic states but was unable to read, forgot to eat, got dangerously underweight. At work I kept shuffing papers, unable to comprehend what were once simple tasks. I later found out that my husband had tried to get my family to help him put me in asylum during our "Bad Summer." My father would not hear of it. He considered my "insanity" a spiritual state of being. My husband is intelligent & kind but he insisted that I get help. What got through to me was that he wrote & spoke to me throughout this "Bad Summer" in words that showed he respected my intelligence. He never called me crazy. He'd say "I love your art & poetry and I want you to be able to sleep." I don't believe that interventions help--it would have felt that I was being ganged up on, if my husband had gotten my friends & family to confront me with letters saying I was messed up (as Judy Eron desperately did). I am not criticizing her, she was obviously trying hard to help her husband--but from a manic person's point of view, it's best to be in touch with one trusted person who insists that you get help. The "click" that got me to go with him & try therapy (again!)was his encouragement that I'd be OK. We went for couples counseling first. The psychologists (a married couple) had no clue about mania. They thought I was creative & needed my own "space," suggesting we build a private cottage for me--something we had no $ for. Through trial & error over a year, we found a great MD who listened when I said "I think I'm manic-depressive." She sent me to a psychiatrist. After a week of testing & asking me 100s of questions, he put me on Lithium. It worked well but began to harm my liver after 2 years. After 5 years of trial & error, we found the right combination of meds. A good amount of patience is requried for both the person with manic-dep & the spouse (or family member). I've been on a good combo of meds for 15 years with only mild "break throughs" of mania in Spring/Summer. I see my brilliant therapist every 4 weeks. I have never gone off my meds. At age 55, I retired. The 8-5:00 work day isn't healthy for most people with this disorder. There is something about anticipation of the alarm that keeps us awake, worrying what will happen at work the following day. PT work with flexible hours, is ideal. I am on Medicare so my meds are cheap ($1-$3 each). We turned to social services when I first quit my job & they were incredibly helpful. My husband & I have been together for 22 years & he is a joy. He is my hero. If you are in a relationship with someone who has manic-depression, do not despair. There are good meds. If the person is more depressed than manic, they would benefit from an exercise program as well as medication. Group therapy works better for people who are depressed. I am mostly manic & it was seroquel that finally got me able to sleep & be balanced. There are medications specialists (doctors or RNs) in many larger cities who are well-instructed about meds for brain disorders. Many people have other problems, like thyroid disease, so it's a good idea to consult with a medications specialist. Therapy is useful for encouragement to stay on meds. This is not a disease which can be "cured" with therapy. Talk therapy is wonderful for people who have suffered a bad life event: death of a child, divorce, PTSD after service in war, childhood abuse, etc. Manic-depression/bipolar disorder is a physical disease & medication is essential. I have a friend with the more depressive end of this disease. He has the local psych' hospital on speed dial, so if he feels suicidal, he presses that button & they come get him. I have never been hospitalized & am afraid of that but would rather my family opt for it than to have me commit suicide. Do not be afraid to DO something to help your manic/depressive spouse. Consult the list at the back of this book & CALL for help as soon as your loved one begins to act irrationally. You will be OK.

A powerful and honest account of life in a manic episode from the point of view of a loving spouse. I found "What Goes Up" to be a great inspiration for me, as a spouse of someone plagued with bipolar disorder. I have felt resposible at times and victimized other times, it is a tortourous place and a very lonely place. This book galvanized my fight and inner strength! Thanks Judy for having the strength to write this book! I recommend this book to anyone who has a loved one struggling with this illness.