I have been in and out of counseling for 18 years and have read many self-help books. I have spent countless hours trying to figure out what was "wrong" with me, so that I could fix it.
Until about four years ago, my life was a story of three steps forward, two steps back, one forward, two or three steps back.
I then finally found the courage to make some difficult decisions that allowed the movement to be three steps forward, two back... three forward, one back. At least it was finally, consistently moving forward.
But, I still wasn't happy and was convinced it was because something was "wrong" with me that I needed to "fix."
About a year after my father passed away (an event that completely rocked my world) my mother entered grief therapy. After about a year of therapy, she was introduced to this book by her counselor.
My mother has NEVER been the self-help book type of person. She always lovingly said that I've always read more than enough for us both. So, I was stunned when I saw that she was not only reading this book, but was taking notes and I could see a noticible, positive difference. She finally was becoming happy!
I, of course said that I was grateful she finally realized what I had been trying to explain to her all these years and was glad that she had found a book that worded my "lessons" in a way that she could relate to and understand. I believed that my years of counseling, self-help books, introspection, and research had taught me everything I could know on the subject of how to be happy.
About a year later, through a variety of circumstances I realized that I still was not as happy as I pretended to be and decided that I needed to try therapy again - that I still didn't know what was "wrong" with me.
Long story short, my mother ordered this book for me and all I can say is Thank you, Dr. Baker. Thank you for having the courage to go against traditional psychological approaches to therapy and working to develop an approach that actually works! Thank you for writing about it in such effective language that helped me to understnand the clinical basis for fear and for unhappiness. Thank you for providing the tools, in every-day language to help me defeat the fear of not being enough and to learn to live a happy, fulfilling life. Thank you "Christopher Conner" for providing Dr. Baker the inspiration to write this book.
Some may read this book and cynically choose to believe that because Dr. Baker's Canyon Ranch is expensive, he is just a money-hungry doctor who offers no real guidance. I choose to focus on the results of this book and am not concerned with what his motives may or may not be. What I know is that this book have provided guidance into the root cause of my 20+ years of unhappiness and has provided practical tools that I have seen work with my mother.
He teaches that "There is no resolution to an unspeakable experience... Your worst memories don't go away, and they don't get better." But, he further teaches how focusing on your strengths, rather than what's "wrong" with you - along with other tools he outlines will result in true happiness.
I will take notes and will read, reread, and then read again.
I also used the books to supplement "The Seven Habits of Highly Successful People" by Stephen Covey; in that it provided many ideas in selecting my personal values that matter most to me.