For What I Hate I Do [Paperback]

M.W. Moore (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: December 31, 2005

For What I Hate I Do is a stunning yet fact-based fictional look at the abysmal and catastrophic lifestyle of protagonist Miguel Morris, an NCAA track and field champion whose sexual addictions (underscored by chemical abuse), send him on a downward spiral and bring so much hell on earth that it endangers himself and others. Endorsements, college, money and marriage are lost, marred by bad decisions and unsavory acquaintances, such as those who recruit him to become a sexual predator. Miguel feels betrayed by men and begins victimizing hoodlums and prostitutes. Ultimately, a shocking criminal element evolves that stirs a police and media frenzy for the former model and NCAA track and field champion who trades the opportunity to earn Olympic gold for silver handcuffs instead. Once while seeking redemption, he relapses and completely compromises his Baptist morals by becoming an exotic dancer. A single biblical verse in Roman captures Miguel's struggles: For What I Hate I Do, which paraphrased means, I really want to do what is right, but I don't do it. Instead, I do the very thing I hate.

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Novelist M.W. Moore is a former four-time NCAA All-American track and field champion, who competed against or shared the spotlight with some of the greatest in the sport, such as the legendary Carl Lewis, Edwin Moses and Florence Griffith-Joyner. Moore, a native and current resident of Houston, Texas, attended Mississippi State University studying Industrial Technology. He is the third of five children. For What I Hate I Do is the first in a trilogy, with the blockbuster installment -- Internal Chaos -- also currently available. The IC sequel focuses on the protagonist's first year in prison, including the loneliness and the loss of dignity and respect. It also exposes the warring nature of offenders, their gang and religious affiliations, social cliques and street-wise manipulation. The final installment, An About-Face, is being prepared for an upcoming release.

Product Details

• Paperback: 300 pages
• Publisher: M.W. Moore Publications; 3rd. edition (December 31, 2005)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0977611604
• ISBN-13: 978-0977611607
• Product Dimensions: 8.2 x 5.4 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (56 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,422,615 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

9 of 10 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Refreshing and Amazing, August 21, 2006

By 

C. Lane "dirtysouthkat" (Washington, DC) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: For What I Hate I Do (Paperback)

I bought this book from the author at an event in DC. While I was not interested in reading your sterotypical "gay black male" book, the book was pleasantly suprising. I started the book and had a very difficult time putting it down. Good job Mr. Moore on a job well done. Thank you for allowing us to have an invitation into your life.

6 of 6 people found the following review helpful:

2.0 out of 5 stars An incredible story - execution doesn't always work, March 29, 2007

By 

Prometheus (San Francisco, CA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: For What I Hate I Do (Paperback)

OK. I hate to be a naysayer :-), but the book gets two stars because of its technical execution. It gets four stars for its honest look at self-destructive behavior. As a first (and self-published novel - good for him), Mr. Moore is to be congratulated for sharing a part of his life with us. Let's set aside the writing; the often careless editing; the jarring shifts in tone and points-of-view; a timeline that's not always logical; and scenes created or manipulated to move the story. But, let's move past all that because, clearly, that is not the point here.

It's rare I would use such a word, but harrowing is how I would describe the last third of this fact-based novel. Self-destructive behavior has never been so ugly and so obvious. In many ways, it is not a pretty novel. The sex scenes, while somewhat graphic, were not gratuitous for the sake of shock value. They were what they were. They provided insight into his personality and motivations - he wasn't a nice person, had low self-esteem and he used men (and woman) for his own ego trip. And he justifies his errant behavior - "it's their fault I'm doing this." My experience and exposure to crack addicts is nil, but the scene where he's having sex and he's feeding the other guy crack was just ugly and sad. I cringed just reading it.

Other than the issue of DL men, I would not compare Mr. Moore with E. Lynn Harris. Mr. Harris's novels are filled with stately homes, lush interiors, and understated elegance; his stock and trade is the bourgeois crowd. Mr. Moore's settings are almost the exact opposite, and he slightly opens the door to world of a crack addict. I read INVISIBLE LIFE and I vaguely recall a character that had an addiction and then became HIV-positive, but Mr. Harris handled that sequence swiftly and without much nuance or color. In his book, Mr. Moore doesn't hide the ugliness; it's awash in dark and muddy colors: blacks, grays, and browns; a depressing array of characters and locales with very few splashes of color and not much hope. This is a character study of low self-esteem and addictive behavior that spiraled completely out of control. I found myself shaking my head and wondering: how did this individual become so damaged? Did his formative years predispose him to this? The novel opens at the start of his sophomore or junior year in high school and (I'm guessing) it concludes in his mid- to late 30's.

I think saddest thing in this incredible tale was his inability to be content or happy or to "just be" as a gay man. That is the pivotal issue of the story. I think his life would have been vastly different had he recognized and accepted who he was during his early development. Denial is a great place to be, but ultimately, one pays a price. Would he still have had the addictive behaviors if he had accepted himself as a gay man? I'll leave that to Mr. Moore and professional therapists as I am not in a position to offer an opinion. But, accepting who you are goes a long toward honest self-assessment, happiness, and fulfillment. What's the genesis of such behavior and how does one regain control? And, does one really ever recover? In Mr. Moore's case, I sincerely hope so. I'm looking forward to the next book.

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Surpassed my expectations, November 5, 2006

By 

R. Mills "Mr. Mills" (Bend,Or) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: For What I Hate I Do (Paperback)

Prior to reading the book, I had read several reviews about it and had already formulated an idea of what to expect. By little did I know it was better that I could've imagined. It vividly described the problems and addictions of a promising athlete, but it was done in such in a way that made me understand his attempt to correct his problems , as opposed to faulting him. The book provided me with a instrospective at myself,although my problems are different from the character in the book,it did make me realize that I, like many others, hate a lot of what I do and struggle to correct it.