What He Must Be: ...If He Wants to Marry My Daughter [Paperback]

Voddie Baucham Jr. (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: January 30, 2009

All parents want their daughters to marry godly young men. But which qualities, specifically, should they be looking for?

What will you say when that certain young man sits down in your living room, sweaty-palmed and tongue-tied, and asks your permission to marry your daughter? What criteria should he meet before the two of them join together for life? What He Must Be… If He Wants to Marry My Daughter outlines ten qualities parents should look for in a son-in-law, including trustworthiness, a willingness to lead his family, an understanding of his wife's role, and various spiritual leadership qualities.

Author Voddie Baucham follows up on his popular book Family Driven Faith with this compelling apologetic of biblical manhood. By studying the principles outlined in his book, parents who want their daughter to marry a godly man-as well as those who want their sons to become godly men-will be well equipped to help their children look for and develop these God-honoring qualities.

Editorial Reviews

Review

"Voddie Baucham believes that fathers have a significant responsibility to protect and guide their daughters as they prepare for marriage. One need not agree with everything in this book to benefit greatly from the practical wisdom contained in its pages. As the father of two teenage daughters, I am planning to keep this book close at hand."
—Andreas J. Köstenberger, Senior Research Professor of New Testament and Biblical Theology, Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary

About the Author

VODDIE BAUCHAM JR. is the preaching pastor of Grace Family Baptist Church in Spring, Texas. Author of Family Driven Faith and The Ever-Loving Truth, Baucham is also a sought-after preacher and conference speaker. He and his wife, Bridget, live in Texas with their four children.

Product Details

• Paperback: 216 pages
• Publisher: Crossway (January 30, 2009)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1581349300
• ISBN-13: 978-1581349306
• Product Dimensions: 9 x 6.1 x 0.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 12.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (68 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #29,643 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #54 in Books > Self-Help > Relationships > Mate Seeking

More About the Author

Voddie Baucham wears many hats. He is a husband, father, pastor, author, professor, conference speaker and church planter. He currently serves as Pastor of Preaching at Grace Family Baptist Church in Spring, TX. He has served as an adjunct professor at the College of Biblical Studies in Houston, TX, and Union University in Jackson, TN. He has also lectured at Southern Seminary.

Voddie makes the Bible clear and demonstrates the relevance of God's word to everyday life. However, he does so without compromising the centrality of Christ and the gospel. Those who hear him preach find themselves both challenged and encouraged.

Voddie's area of emphasis is Cultural Apologetics. Whether teaching on classical apologetic issues like the validity and historicity of the Bible, or the resurrection of Christ; or teaching on biblical manhood/ womanhood, marriage and family, he helps ordinary people understand the significance of thinking and living biblically in every area of life.

It is impossible to understand Voddie's approach to the Bible without first understanding the path he has walked. Raised in a non-Christian, single-parent home, Voddie did not hear the gospel until he was in college. His journey to faith was a very unusual and intellectual one. Consequently, he understands what it means to be a skeptic, and knows what it's like to try to figure out the Christian life without relying on the traditions of men. As a result, he speaks to 'outsiders' in ways few Bible teachers can.

Voddie Baucham holds degrees from Houston Baptist University (BA in Christianity/BA in Sociology), Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary (M.Div.), Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary (D.Min.), an honorary degree from Southern California Seminary (D.D.), and additional post-graduate study at the University of Oxford, England.

Voddie and his wife, Bridget have been married since 1989. They have five children, Jasmine, Trey, Elijah, Asher and Judah. They are committed home educators.

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

62 of 65 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars A Book for Every Father February 22, 2009

By A. Konvalin

Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase

This is a book every father, or father to be, needs to read. You do not have to have a daughter to read this book as it speaks to the issue of marriage and how as parents we need to be integral in the process of finding a spouse for our children. This is not by arranging marriages but making sure we do more than simply stand by and give empty approval. We need to raise sons worthy of marriage to our daughters and to raise daughters that know what God calls for in a spouse.

As with most reviews there is only so much one can cover and I cannot encourage you to read this book enough. There may be things that are counter cultural, such as seeing dating as detrimental to marriage, but that is not because the conclusion stated are wrong but because we are so influenced by current practices that anything foreign to them seem wrong. Many times choices need to speak out and Voddie is one of those voices.

We are called not simply to bring forth daughters and sons into the world but to be used by God to mold them and then send them off in an appropriate manner. All too often in an effort to not appear to be "old fashioned" or out of touch with the present we send our daughters off to fend for themselves instead of being the father God calls us to be. Voddie sets forth not only sound advice but sound advice grounded in scripture. Scripture needs to be sought after not only for salvation but it is also sufficient for leading us in raising sons worthy of marring our daughters and daughters worthy to marry our sons.

I asked my sons the other day if they were the type of men that would be worthy husbands for their sister. Once the initial sounds of laughter ceased they got the point and that is we are not simply to be vigilant in raising daughters to marry in the Lord and in helping to find them worthy husbands. We are to also raise sons worthy of marrying when the time arises.

Again reading Voddie's new book is for any father whether you have daughters sons or both. Read this book with a heart to see what God says about marriage and preparing our children for marriage. There may be, depending where you presently stand with regards to dating and courtship and the like, things that are uncomfortable but I would pray you would take from this book that the future of our sons and daughters are to be important to us and that often times this may mean difficult decisions need to be made for their good. If we rely on God and His principles instead of the world's manner of things our families will be healthy and more God glorifying and they will then produce healthy and God glorifying families.

37 of 39 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars More than. . . March 10, 2009

By Shonya Klein

Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase

This book is more than you think. It is more than a 'check list' of what a man must be. It is more than a 'how to find a suitable husband' for yourself or your daughter.

This book inspires me to be a better parent, to be more diligent in training both my sons and my daughters, and will inspire men to be better men, better husbands, better fathers. And that is not what I anticipated.

Baucham does not leave us with an unattainable and unclear list which frustrates us and makes us feel there is no hope. He delves, quite more than I expected, into the Word, history, theology, and examples from christian heroes of the past in order to thoroughly explain what a man must be and WHY. A list would be easier to read. A list would be easier to post as a legalistic, graceless disqualifier of the young men you know. But Baucham's purpose clearly is not the above; this book challenges the reader to raise standards to God's standards rather than settling for the cultural norm and inspires the reader to teach and disciple young men to meet those standards.

This book is not as 'easy to read' as the author's previous book, Family Driven Faith, but it is well worth the extra effort. It is well-written, the author is certainly a wordsmith, but the reader's mind will need to be fully engaged in order to grasp the depth of the message being presented. The message of the book is more than what a man must be if he wants to marry my daughter, as the title implies.

I highly recommend this book. You will receive pleasantly more than you expected.

32 of 34 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars This Book has a Wide Audience March 4, 2009

By Berean Wife

Format:Paperback

First of all when I first saw the title my initial thought was this was a book about courtship and what to look for in a spouse for your daughter. However, after reading this book there is a much wider audience.

~ What to look for in a spouse for your daughter.

~ Helping your daughter determine what to look for.

~ How to raise your sons to be prepared to lead their families.

~ Direction and guidance for husbands and fathers in leading their families.

Many of this will be new information to those who have even grown up in the typical church. I grew up in Southern Baptist Churches all my life. All I remember hearing that fathers should be doing is to have their children in church - Sunday School, VBS, missions, etc.