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What He Must Be: ...If He Wants to Marry My Daughter Paperback – January 30, 2009


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What He Must Be: ...If He Wants to Marry My Daughter + Family Shepherds: Calling and Equipping Men to Lead Their Homes + Family Driven Faith: Doing What It Takes to Raise Sons and Daughters Who Walk with God
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 216 pages
  • Publisher: Crossway (January 30, 2009)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1581349300
  • ISBN-13: 978-1581349306
  • Product Dimensions: 6 x 0.5 x 9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 12.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (90 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #55,360 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

Review

"Voddie Baucham believes that fathers have a significant responsibility to protect and guide their daughters as they prepare for marriage. One need not agree with everything in this book to benefit greatly from the practical wisdom contained in its pages. As the father of two teenage daughters, I am planning to keep this book close at hand."
Andreas J. Köstenberger, Senior Research Professor of New Testament and Biblical Theology, Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary

About the Author

Voddie Baucham Jr. (DMin, Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary) is the preaching pastor of Grace Family Baptist Church in Spring, Texas. Author of Family Driven Faith, The Ever-Loving Truth, and Joseph and the Gospel of Many Colors, Baucham is also a sought-after preacher and conference speaker.


More About the Author

Voddie Baucham wears many hats. He is a husband, father, pastor, author, professor, conference speaker and church planter. He currently serves as Pastor of Preaching at Grace Family Baptist Church in Spring, TX. He has served as an adjunct professor at the College of Biblical Studies in Houston, TX, and Union University in Jackson, TN. He has also lectured at Southern Seminary.

Voddie makes the Bible clear and demonstrates the relevance of God's word to everyday life. However, he does so without compromising the centrality of Christ and the gospel. Those who hear him preach find themselves both challenged and encouraged.

Voddie's area of emphasis is Cultural Apologetics. Whether teaching on classical apologetic issues like the validity and historicity of the Bible, or the resurrection of Christ; or teaching on biblical manhood/ womanhood, marriage and family, he helps ordinary people understand the significance of thinking and living biblically in every area of life.

It is impossible to understand Voddie's approach to the Bible without first understanding the path he has walked. Raised in a non-Christian, single-parent home, Voddie did not hear the gospel until he was in college. His journey to faith was a very unusual and intellectual one. Consequently, he understands what it means to be a skeptic, and knows what it's like to try to figure out the Christian life without relying on the traditions of men. As a result, he speaks to 'outsiders' in ways few Bible teachers can.

Voddie Baucham holds degrees from Houston Baptist University (BA in Christianity/BA in Sociology), Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary (M.Div.), Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary (D.Min.), an honorary degree from Southern California Seminary (D.D.), and additional post-graduate study at the University of Oxford, England.

Voddie and his wife, Bridget have been married since 1989. They have five children, Jasmine, Trey, Elijah, Asher and Judah. They are committed home educators.

Customer Reviews

This is one of the finest books my husband and I have ever read.
Wendy
I highly recommend this book to parents of a daughter in search of her man!
R. Ross
Every man who plans on being a husband or father needs to read this book.
Jared

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

68 of 71 people found the following review helpful By A. Konvalin on February 22, 2009
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This is a book every father, or father to be, needs to read. You do not have to have a daughter to read this book as it speaks to the issue of marriage and how as parents we need to be integral in the process of finding a spouse for our children. This is not by arranging marriages but making sure we do more than simply stand by and give empty approval. We need to raise sons worthy of marriage to our daughters and to raise daughters that know what God calls for in a spouse.

As with most reviews there is only so much one can cover and I cannot encourage you to read this book enough. There may be things that are counter cultural, such as seeing dating as detrimental to marriage, but that is not because the conclusion stated are wrong but because we are so influenced by current practices that anything foreign to them seem wrong. Many times choices need to speak out and Voddie is one of those voices.

We are called not simply to bring forth daughters and sons into the world but to be used by God to mold them and then send them off in an appropriate manner. All too often in an effort to not appear to be "old fashioned" or out of touch with the present we send our daughters off to fend for themselves instead of being the father God calls us to be. Voddie sets forth not only sound advice but sound advice grounded in scripture. Scripture needs to be sought after not only for salvation but it is also sufficient for leading us in raising sons worthy of marring our daughters and daughters worthy to marry our sons.

I asked my sons the other day if they were the type of men that would be worthy husbands for their sister.
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41 of 43 people found the following review helpful By Shonya Klein on March 10, 2009
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This book is more than you think. It is more than a 'check list' of what a man must be. It is more than a 'how to find a suitable husband' for yourself or your daughter.

This book inspires me to be a better parent, to be more diligent in training both my sons and my daughters, and will inspire men to be better men, better husbands, better fathers. And that is not what I anticipated.

Baucham does not leave us with an unattainable and unclear list which frustrates us and makes us feel there is no hope. He delves, quite more than I expected, into the Word, history, theology, and examples from christian heroes of the past in order to thoroughly explain what a man must be and WHY. A list would be easier to read. A list would be easier to post as a legalistic, graceless disqualifier of the young men you know. But Baucham's purpose clearly is not the above; this book challenges the reader to raise standards to God's standards rather than settling for the cultural norm and inspires the reader to teach and disciple young men to meet those standards.

This book is not as 'easy to read' as the author's previous book, Family Driven Faith, but it is well worth the extra effort. It is well-written, the author is certainly a wordsmith, but the reader's mind will need to be fully engaged in order to grasp the depth of the message being presented. The message of the book is more than what a man must be if he wants to marry my daughter, as the title implies.

I highly recommend this book. You will receive pleasantly more than you expected.
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39 of 42 people found the following review helpful By Berean Wife on March 4, 2009
Format: Paperback
First of all when I first saw the title my initial thought was this was a book about courtship and what to look for in a spouse for your daughter. However, after reading this book there is a much wider audience.

~ What to look for in a spouse for your daughter.

~ Helping your daughter determine what to look for.

~ How to raise your sons to be prepared to lead their families.

~ Direction and guidance for husbands and fathers in leading their families.

Many of this will be new information to those who have even grown up in the typical church. I grew up in Southern Baptist Churches all my life. All I remember hearing that fathers should be doing is to have their children in church - Sunday School, VBS, missions, etc.
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19 of 21 people found the following review helpful By Shaun Tabatt VINE VOICE on March 14, 2009
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Ask Voddie Baucham how to best prepare for leadership and ministry and he may tell you to get married and have children. You may be wondering what that has to do with helping your daughter choose a suitor. The answer is that it has everything to do with helping your daughter choose a suitor. This book is directed at Christian parents, especially fathers. As followers of Christ it is the father's duty to lead and minister in his own home first. If you aren't sure what this looks like, you may want to consider for yourself the qualities Voddie suggests we should be looking for in our daughter's future husband and instilling in our sons who will most likely be husbands themselves some day.

The first part of the book lays the groundwork for the vision and thought behind these counter-cultural ideas. Chapter one expresses the need for fathers to have a Christ-centered multigenerational vision that extends to the children, grandchildren and beyond. Chapter two describes marriage as a ministry, explaining how marriage is a fertile training ground for future church leaders as the Christian marriage illustrates the relationship of Christ and the church to a lost and hurting world. Chapter three explains a father's role as he exercises gospel patriarchy.

Chapters four through eight lay out the qualities we should be looking for in our daughter's potential suitors and instilling in our own sons.
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