Customer Reviews

What High Schools Don't Tell You: 300+ Secrets to Make Your Kid Irresistible to Colleges by Senior Year

5 star:		(10)
4 star:		(7)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(5)

 

 

First, you have to realize the truth. It isn't that hard to get into a college or university in general. What is perhaps hard is to get into a specific college or university, or to be eligible for specific academic scholarships or fellowships.

Second, some, but not all, of the suggestions made by author Elizabeth Wissner-Gross require money, and lots of it. Just keep this in mind when you read about the favored summer camps she recommends.

Third, you've probably heard or read of the "hovering parent" syndrome. This book, What High Schools Don't Tell You: 300+ Secrets to Make Your Kid Irresistible to Colleges by Senior Year, was written with them in mind.

Okay, having said those things, there are some good ideas here. Let me summarize a bunch of them.

- be very good at something
- don't wait until your junior or senior year to develop your resume or experiences
- don't waste your summers
- develop a plan, and follow the plan

There you go! About 200 of these secrets fall in these categories.

I was irritated or disappointed with three themes in the book.

- intellectual development was key for Wissner-Gross. That's not a bad goal. However, our children are, quite frankly, falling apart. Obesity rates are sky-rocketing, along with early adult-onset diabetes, and the lack of knowledge or skills in life sports such as tennis, basketball, and swimming are deplorable. Sending kids to college without the ability to take care of their bodies and socialize with team or intramural sports is a really bad thing, and I guarantee you, it is not the responsibility of the faculty at college to teach your son or daughter to avoid binge drinking, proper eating, and good exercise strategies. Promote intellectual development while limiting these areas at your child's peril. There is a cost associated with encouraging engineering camp while discouraging soccer camp.

- Life is not over if you don't get into Yale or Williams. Be careful of the messages you send. Being very good in what you do, wherever you go, is the key for admission to prestigious graduate and professional schools, and these graduate programs are key determinants of future success.

- Community service. Here's where I really part company with Wissner-Gross:

"Your child should avoid volunteer experiences where intellectual growth is not likely to occur or where there are no new skills to gain" (Secret 280, p. 227).

"... I want to emphasize that a student who sticks with a boring task... does not impress colleges" (Secret 281, p. 227). She does note that the child should seek insight or improvement.

Wissner-Gross states "The major rewards of community service tend to be learning, enrichment, innovating, the satisfaction of helping others, supporting a cause you believe in, and enjoyment..." BUT, she continues (p. 229) stating "The Community Service Requirement. Does every child need to do community service? It's not a bad idea if you want your child to be a caring adult. However, parents need to think carefully about... what constitutes service. Conducting science research to end cancer is community service enough..."

What? I guarantee you, NO high school student is "Conducting science research to end cancer." And community service involves service to the community first. Here, it is being confused with volunteerism. When students are interviewed, this really comes out. If your program doesn't care, that's their problem. If the program you desire does care, then that is your problem. Community service involves making a connection to the community, and your reflection on this experience in this regard is essential. Many, many students call these experiences transformational. It's what fuels their passion in their college interviews, in their courses, and in what they get involved in during college.

And then there is the statement, "Does every child need to do community service? It's not a bad idea if you want your child to be a caring adult."

And there are parents who DON'T want their children to be caring adults? For humanity's sake, I hope these parents are in the extreme minority.

So Elizabeth Wissner-Gross says that intellectual development is essential (how can I disagree?), development of connectiveness with the community is not a bad idea if you want your child to be a caring adult (this bothers me a lot), and don't worry, be happy about your child's physical development (this is the omission that will haunt a person's health through decades... but hey!).

So whether you have MIT or Cal Tech, Smith or Randolph-Macon Woman's College, or Stanford or the University of Virginia in mind, be good at many things, be really good at something; be broad in your education while also being deep; be concerned about your community and your body; and be oh so honest about who you are and who you want to be.

And don't forget to let your kid play during the summer as well.

We stumbled upon this book two years ago when my daughter was in sixth grade at a large, inner city public middle school. The kind of school with caring but overworked teachers, and a counselor/student ration of 1 to 380.

This book and it's companion "What colleges Don't Tell you..." were a revelation for us. For less than twenty dollars, we received the kind of "inside information" that wealthier families pay thousands of dollars for. It was like having our own personal educational consultant.

By using some of the suggestions in this book and learning to put ourselves in the shoes of admissions officers, we were able to focus and develop her passions and present them in a way that interested scholarship committees and private schools. The results for us were amazing: she has a full academic scholarship and several partial scholarships for extra-curricular activities!

I must agree with the Amazon reviewer who said: "Anyone who doesn't want you to read this book is trying to eliminate the competition!"

Ms. Wissner-Gross levels the playing field for lower and middle income families. A heartfelt thank you from a struggling single mom.

All this competitiveness can drive a person insane. I've watched my daughter in a private school that is very demanding, slowly disintegrating. She is a nervous wreck, sleep deprived and unfocused. The parents are pushing and pushing, the kids cheat (it makes my daughter nuts since she works so hard, and is getting B's and C's while the other kids have copies of the tests saved by older siblings!). The school puts so much pressure on them to succeed and most of the kids? well they'll get in the colleges of their choice because their parents are legacies and the parents are so filthy loaded they can give $10-25,000 a year to the colleges! That's how it really works if you want to get real about it.

There is some good stuff in the book, but a lot of stuff has been left out especially for kids who want a performing arts career. Interlochen is okay, but I would recommend a place called Stagedoor Manor for real professional training in the summers. Most of the kids who did that camp are good students as well, but they have gone on to NYU, Yale, CCM, Boston Conservatory, Carnegie Mellon, Univ of Michigan, etc. Having Stagedoor on the resume helped a lot.

She also has some good programs in other areas which I didn't know about it, so it was worth the purchase. I'm assuming she wrote the book after she got her own kids through their "ivy league" schools (perhaps not to share the info with other parents along the way - but that is how it is out there).

Also, kids do better in school when they can focus. To focus, you need lots of sleep, especially teenagers. It's fact. The schools today give entirely too much homework. If the teachers are doing their job in school, there is no need to come home and do another 5-6 hours of homework (yep, that's what the school gives 7th on up in my child's school). They say 20 mins per subject, however, my husband and I have timed the work (and my child is a good student), and it isn't. Not by a long shot. Each teacher thinks their class is the most important. Many parents won't admit their kids spend that amount of time on homework and many don't realize their kids are up late doing it! I know only because my child is up (I don't go to bed until she's done) and kids are asking for homework help. Some kids have tutors and the tutors do their work. It is insanity because the schools know this is going on and yet do nothing (IF it is a child of a high contributor).

There are so many parents afraid to speak up. The schools (all of them) will make you feel like you're in the minority, but at the parents luncheons, homework is all they talk about. It is wrong for schools to deprive children the right to do things after school to unwind. It is wrong to give homework on every weekend depriving kids of family and worship. Kids need to do chores and help out (well at least some of them). Why deprive them of responsibilities or just, dare I say, having fun! They are only kids once. And the way the world is today, to have them stay young as long as possible would be a pleasure.

I love all the new books coming out on the Case Against Homework, and even the Wall St Journal wrote an article about a study that proved homework does nothing to improve grades. I know that with my child and her friends it only makes them despise the work...because the learning isn't fun. Running on 5-6 (if they are lucky) hours of sleep, is not good especially when they have subjects like math, science or languages first up in the mornings. These classes require cognitive thinking at its best.

Run schools like google runs its company, and you'd see a lot more kids loving it. I hate the fact that my daughter has to put in 14 hour days learning. I hate that there are kids staying up till 2am and then setting their alarms to wake up at 4am to finish their work (yep, in this school so many of them do that in 8th grade - this technique used to be reserved for college). And I hate that one poor child stayed up till 3am and couldn't do her latin homework and the teacher said "tough, it should have been done." Mostly, I hate that schools carry dead weight - teachers who just can't teach (hello MATH TEACHERS OUT THERE) and every parent knows it but is petrified to speak up. So we pay all this money for private school, and then what? People have to spend a bundle on tutors. That's the crying shame....And it's no wonder our kids are burned out by time they are ready to enter college. It's the parents fault for pushing so hard. And why is that? Because they want their kid to be the best NO MATTER HOW THEY GET THERE.

I think it's time to homeschool!

As for this book, it is depressing in some parts if you don't have money (but some summer programs offer financial aid), and it should be heartening to know that even the so called "best" private schools, DON'T always have the best teachers. In fact, there is a double standard of discipline as well. If you're a high contributor, you can pay to make things go away if your child gets in trouble. If you don't contribute, be prepared to be sent to a shrink for analysis!

I, for one, have just about had it with all this competition, and I think the year between high school and college when kids used to go backpacking and see the world before attempting to conquer college? Well I think it needs to be moved up to between middle school and high school!

Wissner-Gross follows her college secrets book with an excellent presentation on how to prepare your high school student to compete to get into the best colleges. Some reviewers will deride the role of helicopter parents, manufacturing credentials, etc, but the bottom line is if your child wants to be able to compete in todays ultracompetitive environment, he has to have a game plan.
She lists a number of great opportunities for students to expand their skills, and more importantly, helps you to help your child find a passion. So many summers are frittered away hanging out and doing nothing worthwhile. Doesnt it make sense to take 2-3 weeks for a great family vacation and spend a good part of the remaining time learning about something you are really into, discovering a passion, and at the same time making yourselves more desirable to the elite schools? Again, this is not because these schools should be sought after for prestige or for the inevitable parental bragging rites. Certain schools have great programs in obscure areas that students are interested in, or have an intellectual study body that your child would fit in with. Wissner-Gross's recommendations only help to make your child more competitive and more desirable by the college that they want to go to.
The book is divided into two parts. The second gives a load of specific programs for a wide variety of intersts. When do you do this stuff? During the summers. Several summers of great educational activities is a lot of fun, a great educational tool, and creates a student who is very desirable to the top schools. Most high schools do not bother to make recommendations or do not know about them. Many tell you not to think about college until late in the junior year. If you take that approach, a number of schools that might be a great match for the student will be out of range.
Start early, find the hidden passion, encourage motivation, and have fun. Great book- wish it available a few years ago.

Let me put it bluntly: there are two purposes for this book. First, it feeds on the frenzy of fanatical parents who are obsessed with getting their kids into selective colleges. The other purpose is to make money. Having worked with thousands of students & parents over the years, this book is the last thing needed this day and age! It "games" the system while totally avoiding what really matters: namely relationships and communication between parents & their kids. Sure, one can argue that colleges play "games" with students and manipulate admissions decisions to their own advantage. So, if parents want to "equal the playing field," then this book offers a few strategies...but don't be lulled into assuming the strategies will result in the desired outcomes! If parents want to be able to talk with their kids and help them become happy, well adjusted, and successful adults in the long-run, then I'd suggest spending your money on "Why Do They Act That Way" by David Walsh. It all goes back to an idea I learned in grad school: What you do now determines what happens to you.

This book changed the way I'm parenting our 13 year old. Our youngest son (8th grade) picked 3 "dream goals" from the list given, which actually helped me understand him better. I found several great ideas in the book to help him work towards his goals (including the Congressional Youth Award.) It's given us a framework for the next few years. He feels like I'm on his side, and I see my role as helping him get from his point A to point B.

Because of this book, I ended up encouraging him to apply for a summer language program that will help him reach his goals. Before reading this book, I wouldn't have considered it, since it's expensive. But they offer financial aid, so we're going for it!

I wish I would have had this info for our older 2. They lucked into opportunities (teaching in Tanzania and TASP) which helped them get into Swarthmore and the ivies. This process would have helped our relationships, though.

I just gave a copy to a friend's daughter after she heard me rave about how helpful it was. I'd also like to share the info with parents at our rural school (the only one in the county that doesn't offer AP classes.) Our kids and parents need all the help they can get!

I disagree that this book is only for 'hovering' parents and for rich people. I come from a modest background with nonchalant parents, with me being the motivator for my own studies. Definitely I would say that this book was written with caring parents in mind, since the author writes like she is talking to one. I never even considered taking the International Medusa Mythology Exam, because I didn't even know about it! Liking Greek mythology I took it and got a medal! During this year, which is my senior year, I've been contacted by various universities, and the question that keeps popping up is about that same test. So, there are a lot of helpful things. Personally I feel as if the college one she wrote has better advice, since there's more concrete examples and unknown information. So, if you're a student that wants that advantage, get this book. My friend borrowed it, and has still not given it back.

In general,it's a good book.Though some are really not secret at ALL,I even have heard about some in CHINA.
On the other hand,this book does provide a lot of information that is really useful activities to do for both application and self-improvement.But several pages are fuzzy,and most activities are limited in certain region,most in east coast.
It's a good book to start pursuing your dream

I agree with many (if not all) the reviews. Yes, it is depressing, yes, it can really help! If you have a student that borders the admissions criteria set by the most selective universities, then this book is for you (your student actually). I found it had great ideas but it is the student that must do the work. For most of these kids that will mean adding just "one more thing" to their already hectic, overachieving lives. As a parent, the best method is to take a few ideas and introduce the concepts at a young age (7-9th grades) to see what your child's interest is. Help your middle schoolers get started and set up a tracking system for them to help achieve success. If you have a student in 10th or higher, just introduce them to a few ideas and then have the book available for them to take it from there. Once a high achieving student has finished 9th grade, they will have filled their calendar with what is important to them, the book only serves as a confirmation of what they have chosen or helps them tweak their goals a bit. This book is NOT for the student who is not highly motivated for application to selective schools. It will only cause stress and pressure, a sure mix for failure.

This is a great book to help parents understand to help guide their children! It's not about 'making' your child into anything. It is about listening to your child, hearing/knowing what their interests are and using that information togeter with the information in the book to choose experiences which will help the teen be successful. This is an excellent resource which was recommended to me by a friend and which I have recommended to many friends.