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What I'd Say to the Martians: And Other Veiled Threats Hardcover – April 8, 2008

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Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Jack Handey is the author of the bestselling Deep Thoughts series of books. He was a staff writer for Saturday Night Live, and has won two Emmy Awards and a Writers Guild of America Award. His humor pieces have appeared in the New Yorker, Outside, Playboy, National Lampoon, Punch, and other publications. He lives in Santa Fe, NM, with his wife, dog, and cats. Some people believe that Jack Handey is a made-up name of an imaginary person, and idea that Handey is trying to promote amongst his creditors.
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Product Details

  • Hardcover: 192 pages
  • Publisher: Hachette Books; First Edition edition (April 8, 2008)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1401322662
  • ISBN-13: 978-1401322663
  • Product Dimensions: 5.2 x 0.8 x 7.8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (65 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #108,216 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

34 of 36 people found the following review helpful By A. Whitney VINE VOICE on June 16, 2008
Format: Hardcover
I heard Jack Handey reading the title piece on the radio while I drove home and couldn't stop laughing. It was more of a distraction than talking on a cell phone while driving. I apologize to anyone I may have offended with my driving.

So, I bought the book to read it safely on my plane ride home from NYC. I laughed out loud there, too. I apologize to anyone who was on the plane with me during that flight.

Handey has such a clear voice, and a definite style, I could hear him in my head. His work is deceptively simple; many folks think they could probably write like him. But, I suspect that is it rather difficult to seem so off-the-cuff funny and to set up each joke so expertly.

He is best known for his Deep Thoughts of which several are included in the book. But his longer pieces are really hysterical. The title piece is my all-time favorite.

The only drawback is that the book is rather short, so I blew through it before we hit Indiana, so I was forced to read People Magazine. What do I care about "The Hills"? Good grief. I'd rather re-read the book, of which I probably will do again and again.
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16 of 17 people found the following review helpful By Sara on April 11, 2008
Format: Hardcover
I've always been a fan of Deep Thoughts, but this book is so much more! It's like each essay is one, long, hilarious Deep Thought.

The book includes essays, some of Handey's favorite Deep Thoughts and Fuzzy Memories, as well as a great bonus: scripts of some of his best sketch writing from Saturday Night Live, such as Toonces the Driving Cat, Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer and Happy Fun Ball.

Overall, an excellent, hilarious book. Every essay (and sometimes every sentence) has something to laugh at. Hopefully Handey will continue to write and publish!
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful By Jesse on June 3, 2013
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
A very funny book. If you enjoy laughter, then you'll enjoy this book. The book doesn't laugh at you or anything, but you'll laugh at the book. I don't think that'll hurt the book's feelings, but if does, I'm sorry for laughing at you book. I'd say I was laughing with you book, but that would make me a crazy person. The book is funnier than this review.
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful By Franklin Lee Jones on April 19, 2008
Format: Hardcover
The first memory I have of Snl is deep thoughts and I have been a fan ever since. I am a fan of books that make me laugh I love this book and I loved Mr Instability so Amazon has been good to me lately!
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful By Mike Smith on January 6, 2010
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
Jack Handey has by now completely proven that his humor is not some dated 1990s relic--his Deep Thoughts and Fuzzy Memories are every bit as funny to read today as they were when they were first written. I've collected all of his books, read and re-read them, and quite frankly I think he is among the funniest and most timeless satirists America has ever had. His command of the startlingly random and the absurdly insightful is unparalleled, and having his many NEW YORKER and OUTSIDE pieces collected here with much of his other hilarious miscellany makes this book a must-have for anyone unashamed of having permanent laugh lines on his or her face.

This is not, it should be noted, a collection of merely "clever" or "humorous" writing that will evoke little more than knowing nods, wistful smiles, or the occasional chuckle. This book is HILARIOUS--the sort of thing that might destroy a relationship if read while sitting across from a significant other with your mouth full of milk, the sort of thing that will incite (welcome or unwelcome) public interactions with fellow bus passengers wondering what the hell is so funny, the sort of the thing that might make you laugh so hard that the laughter becomes more painful than fun. This book IS FUNNY.

It's by Jack Handey--of course it's funny.
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15 of 20 people found the following review helpful By Andrew Henry on June 9, 2008
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
As a fan of all of the "Deep Thoughts" books (as well as the segments on SNL) I wanted to love this book, and certainly there are parts of it that are very funny. However, probably half of this fairly short book is reprinted material we have seen before in the "Deep Thoughts" books, or have seen on TV in the SNL sketch scripts. I was expecting new material, especially given the length of time since his last book. Further, Jack Handey relies on a specific style of humor that builds expectations for a particular thematic direction, then abruptly diverts to something completely different. He is very skilled at this, no doubt, and uses it to good effect. However, he uses this style/tactic exclusively. If you read much in one sitting, you start to get inured to the effect, such that you don't take the "bait" as easily, and thus the "switch" carries less impact. So don't try to read this book through all in one sitting if you want to get the most enjoyment out of it. Unfortunately, given its short length and generous inclusion of previously published material, you're looking at about three ten minute reading sessions for your money...
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