Enter your mobile number or email address below and we'll send you a link to download the free Kindle App. Then you can start reading Kindle books on your smartphone, tablet, or computer - no Kindle device required.

  • Apple
  • Android
  • Windows Phone
  • Android

To get the free app, enter your email address or mobile phone number.

Qty:1
  • List Price: $15.00
  • Save: $1.51 (10%)
FREE Shipping on orders with at least $25 of books.
In Stock.
Ships from and sold by Amazon.com. Gift-wrap available.
What I'd Say to the Marti... has been added to your Cart
FREE Shipping on orders over $25.
Condition: Used: Very Good
Comment: A well-cared-for item that has seen limited use but remains in great condition. The item is complete, unmarked, and undamaged, but may show some limited signs of wear. Item works perfectly. Pages and dust cover are intact and not marred by notes or highlighting. The spine is undamaged.
Have one to sell? Sell on Amazon
Flip to back Flip to front
Listen Playing... Paused   You're listening to a sample of the Audible audio edition.
Learn more
See all 3 images

What I'd Say to the Martians: And Other Veiled Threats Hardcover – April 8, 2008

4.5 out of 5 stars 77 customer reviews

See all 5 formats and editions Hide other formats and editions
Price
New from Used from
Kindle
"Please retry"
Hardcover
"Please retry"
$13.49
$5.35 $2.80
Paperback
"Please retry"

Best Books of the Month
See the Best Books of the Month
Want to know our Editors' picks for the best books of the month? Browse Best Books of the Month, featuring our favorite new books in more than a dozen categories.
$13.49 FREE Shipping on orders with at least $25 of books. In Stock. Ships from and sold by Amazon.com. Gift-wrap available.
click to open popover

Frequently Bought Together

  • What I'd Say to the Martians: And Other Veiled Threats
  • +
  • Deep Thoughts
  • +
  • Deeper Thoughts, All New
Total price: $33.43
Buy the selected items together


Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Jack Handey is the author of the bestselling Deep Thoughts series of books. He was a staff writer for Saturday Night Live, and has won two Emmy Awards and a Writers Guild of America Award. His humor pieces have appeared in the New Yorker, Outside, Playboy, National Lampoon, Punch, and other publications. He lives in Santa Fe, NM, with his wife, dog, and cats. Some people believe that Jack Handey is a made-up name of an imaginary person, and idea that Handey is trying to promote amongst his creditors.
NO_CONTENT_IN_FEATURE

Image
Interested in the Audiobook Edition?
If you’re the author, publisher, or rights holder of this book, let ACX help you produce the audiobook.Learn more.

Product Details

  • Hardcover: 192 pages
  • Publisher: Hachette Books; First Edition edition (April 8, 2008)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1401322662
  • ISBN-13: 978-1401322663
  • Product Dimensions: 5.2 x 0.8 x 7.8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (77 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #202,719 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

By A. Whitney VINE VOICE on June 16, 2008
Format: Hardcover
I heard Jack Handey reading the title piece on the radio while I drove home and couldn't stop laughing. It was more of a distraction than talking on a cell phone while driving. I apologize to anyone I may have offended with my driving.

So, I bought the book to read it safely on my plane ride home from NYC. I laughed out loud there, too. I apologize to anyone who was on the plane with me during that flight.

Handey has such a clear voice, and a definite style, I could hear him in my head. His work is deceptively simple; many folks think they could probably write like him. But, I suspect that is it rather difficult to seem so off-the-cuff funny and to set up each joke so expertly.

He is best known for his Deep Thoughts of which several are included in the book. But his longer pieces are really hysterical. The title piece is my all-time favorite.

The only drawback is that the book is rather short, so I blew through it before we hit Indiana, so I was forced to read People Magazine. What do I care about "The Hills"? Good grief. I'd rather re-read the book, of which I probably will do again and again.
1 Comment 38 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
Report abuse
Format: Hardcover
I've always been a fan of Deep Thoughts, but this book is so much more! It's like each essay is one, long, hilarious Deep Thought.

The book includes essays, some of Handey's favorite Deep Thoughts and Fuzzy Memories, as well as a great bonus: scripts of some of his best sketch writing from Saturday Night Live, such as Toonces the Driving Cat, Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer and Happy Fun Ball.

Overall, an excellent, hilarious book. Every essay (and sometimes every sentence) has something to laugh at. Hopefully Handey will continue to write and publish!
1 Comment 18 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
Report abuse
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
A very funny book. If you enjoy laughter, then you'll enjoy this book. The book doesn't laugh at you or anything, but you'll laugh at the book. I don't think that'll hurt the book's feelings, but if does, I'm sorry for laughing at you book. I'd say I was laughing with you book, but that would make me a crazy person. The book is funnier than this review.
Comment 9 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
Report abuse
Format: Hardcover
The first memory I have of Snl is deep thoughts and I have been a fan ever since. I am a fan of books that make me laugh I love this book and I loved Mr Instability so Amazon has been good to me lately!
1 Comment 6 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
Report abuse
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
Jack Handey has by now completely proven that his humor is not some dated 1990s relic--his Deep Thoughts and Fuzzy Memories are every bit as funny to read today as they were when they were first written. I've collected all of his books, read and re-read them, and quite frankly I think he is among the funniest and most timeless satirists America has ever had. His command of the startlingly random and the absurdly insightful is unparalleled, and having his many NEW YORKER and OUTSIDE pieces collected here with much of his other hilarious miscellany makes this book a must-have for anyone unashamed of having permanent laugh lines on his or her face.

This is not, it should be noted, a collection of merely "clever" or "humorous" writing that will evoke little more than knowing nods, wistful smiles, or the occasional chuckle. This book is HILARIOUS--the sort of thing that might destroy a relationship if read while sitting across from a significant other with your mouth full of milk, the sort of thing that will incite (welcome or unwelcome) public interactions with fellow bus passengers wondering what the hell is so funny, the sort of the thing that might make you laugh so hard that the laughter becomes more painful than fun. This book IS FUNNY.

It's by Jack Handey--of course it's funny.
Read more ›
2 Comments 4 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
Report abuse
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
I love Jack Handey. And even though his "Deeper Thoughts" books can get a little tiring (the format is not ideal to read), this one seems different. Every few sentences reads a little like a deep thoughts but flows into the next and contributes to the plot. It's a quick read but well worth it.
Comment One person found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
Report abuse
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
What I'd Say to the Martians is one of the funniest things I have ever read..My son normally hates to read aloud but has yet to tire of this.Many reviews have mentioned that Mr.Handey is a genius.This family concurs.
Comment 2 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
Report abuse
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
I have all the little saying books he did so long ago and I've been waiting for something like this to pop up. reading Jack Handey is hard on your health, especially if you have weak sides. he's going to hurt them. you're going to wish you put on a weight lifters belt before reading this. Jack is back!
Comment One person found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
Report abuse

Most Recent Customer Reviews

Set up an Amazon Giveaway

What I'd Say to the Martians: And Other Veiled Threats
Amazon Giveaway allows you to run promotional giveaways in order to create buzz, reward your audience, and attract new followers and customers. Learn more
This item: What I'd Say to the Martians: And Other Veiled Threats