What If I Tell? (Paperback)

~ Gina McCabe (Author)
Key Phrases: Uncle Louis, Jim Everett, Auntie Marianne (more...)

Editorial Reviews

Product Description

The true story of a woman who, in her mid-thirties, realizes that she is unable to enjoy life despite having achieved her every definition of success. Unsure of the cause of this new and overwhelming unhappiness, she blames everything from her husband to her workaholic ways. On the brink of a failed marriage, discovering deep self-hatred and overwhelming stress, she turns to therapy and writing to understand. Her account takes readers through her denial, confusion, anger, depression, and finally to clarity around her unwillingness to deal with the after-effects of childhood trauma. She realizes that her past is more than just something she wants to deny, and she begins to understand how it has shaped her whole life... her choices, behavior, thinking and feelings. After thirty years of silence, she finds the courage to tackle a lifelong question that she would never before even consider: What if I tell?

Product Details

• Paperback: 272 pages
• Publisher: Winding Road Books; First Edition edition (March 20, 2008)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0981513905
• ISBN-13: 978-0981513904
• Product Dimensions: 7.9 x 5.2 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 12 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (14 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #1,118,613 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Courageous Confession of Abuse, June 23, 2008

By	Bryan Carey "Bryan Carey" (Houston, TX) - See all my reviews (TOP 500 REVIEWER)    (REAL NAME)    (VINE VOICE)

Gina McCabe is a young woman in her thirties who has experienced things that most of us wouldn't wish upon our greatest enemy. For years, she lived in fear and shame. She often experienced negative, irrational thoughts. She was depressed and often suicidal. The problems stemmed from experiences in her youth and they were tearing her up inside. Her problem was childhood sexual abuse, and she carried the experience with her throughout her young life and well into adulthood. The trauma caused tremendous anxiety until McCabe finally found the courage to confess her past and begin the healing process.

Most of the author's young life was spent living in fear and anxiety. She was never quite certain whether someone was lurking in her bedroom, behind a door, under a bed, or in a closet. She realized that her fear was irrational, but she could not control the flashbacks. Friends and family might have noticed that something was strange, but no one ever connected the dots. Even though it is widely agreed that extended family members are the most likely to commit this type of abuse, most never suspect that anything like this is taking place. This is exactly what happened to the author. Her uncle and grandfather were committing the acts of abuse, but no one ever suspected that anything was going on. And since young Gina was so scared and overwhelmed by anxiety, she never offered any hints to those around her that anything so ugly was taking place.

This book is written in an honest, effective way and I like the fact that the book includes the author's actual thoughts as she converses with different people. She includes many conversations with important people in her life and, inserted between the quotes, she includes what she was thinking at different points in the conversation. She separates the thoughts from the actual conversation through the use of italics. Often, McCabe would be saying one thing while a completely different and sometimes contradictory thought was passing through her mind. It is interesting to read these points of contrast between her thoughts and her speech. Everyone does this to an extent, but McCabe seems to do this with great frequency; a direct result of the trauma she experienced as a young girl. I also like the way the book slowly builds suspense. You know something is wrong, but the book doesn't come forward and say exactly what it is. The book keeps you guessing for the first several chapters.

Another interesting aspect of this book is the number of people in the McCabe's life who also had experienced similar forms of abuse. Some of her friends, associates, and even her own brother confess to episodes of the same type of abuse. As I read all of these confessions, I began to wonder if those who have been abused naturally attract the friendships of others who have been abused, without even knowing it. A substantial percentage of McCabe's acquaintances and family were also victims of abuse, and the number is so great that it makes me wonder if these types of victims attract each other without even realizing it.

Overall, What If I Tell is a very good book about child abuse and a young woman who finally found the strength to face her problems and begin the healing process. The author now devotes part of her time to activist activities in order to help eliminate this type of abuse. Child sexual abuse is more commonplace than people think, and Gina McCabe should be congratulated for having the strength to face her demons, improve her personal life and mental health, and work for positive change in the world.

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars You won't be able to put this book down ..., April 25, 2008

By	Page Turner (Herndon, VA) - See all my reviews

I couldn't put this book down as McCabe's story connected with me. She is an honest and amazing writer who had a very important story to tell. Although McCabe wrote a book about her own life; it was so similar to mine that I was sucked into the comparison. What is so sad is that child sexual abuse is more prevalent than we choose to acknowledge. However, it is comforting to know that I am not alone in my battle. I want to thank McCabe for having the courage to tell her story and help others.

We have to be the generation to stop the incredibly high statistic that 1 in every 4 children suffer from sexual abuse! One fourth ... we need to demand better than this.

Although the subject of this book may seem daunting and dark, the story is nothing close. It is a journey about courage, hope, healing and honesty and leaves you with renewed strength and spirit. Anyone who has been through turmoil in their childhood and was successful at masking it in their 20s, knows it comes pouring out in your 30s. This book will give you the strength to heal and make you realize that you are not alone.

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars What if I Tell? --An incredible journey!, April 15, 2008

By	Kimberly L. Christopher "ChargeTheCannonsPubl... (Pennsylvania) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

What if I Tell? is a courageous, candid memoir written by a well-educated, articulate businesswoman who, as her second marriage begins to crumble amid juggling a stressful career and managing panic, anxiety and depression, confronts the memories of being sexually abused as a child--and how those tragic events shaped her life to this point in time.

McCabe, an excellent writer, doesn't sensor her thoughts or her words as they flow on the pages and because of that fact the reader will be very aware of her emotions at all times, never having to second guess her meaning. Her spunk and her commitment to working through the shame, anger and inability to trust, to better her life, and then sharing that information with us holds valuable insights for others who have suffered childhood sexual abuse.

With self help books being the craze and gurus telling us we need to read this one or that one to fix our lives, it's rare to find that the real key to unlocking the door to life isn't found in a self help book at all, but a memoir. If you're a survivor of sexual abuse, whether or not you've worked through the trauma, this book will be beneficial and comforting for you. It will open emotional doors that were previously closed, locked, and barricaded. It will provide you with hope and let you know you're OK and that there are others out there just like you who are willing to blindly find their way through all the emotional "crap" toward healing. Even if you're not ready to admit you may have been sexually abused as a child, or if you wonder, McCabe's book is an excellent, "safe," precursor to looking into your own soul.

Although her story is just one of many who've made the journey toward healing, McCabe is gifted in the fact she has the whither all to effect a change, to bring the memories into the light, to stay in the pain, and to give courage to other women (or men) who are about to embark on their own journeys of dealing with the intensity of abuse. She allows you to walk with her through her pain, giving you a front row seat to her soul during her darkest days. She shows you that you will come out on the other side--that joy, love, happiness and even trust can exists after childhood sexual abuse. Total reading time in one sitting--two hours. Two hours that could change your life.