Say What You Mean/Get What You Want: A Businessperson's Guide to Direct Communication [Paperback]

Judith C. Tingley Ph.D. (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: February 26, 1996

Explaining how to be assertive in business, this text describes what to do in situations such as: giving and receiving feedback; expressing opinions; asking for what you want; dealing with rejection; delegating responsibility; and expecting accountability. The book provides examples of typical workplace communications scenarios, as well as two self-tests to help readers assess their present levels of directness. Readers will discover eight steps for effective communication and learn how to evaluate their goals from a communication standpoint.

Product Details

• Paperback: 157 pages
• Publisher: AMACOM; 1 edition (February 26, 1996)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0814479049
• ISBN-13: 978-0814479049
• Product Dimensions: 8.9 x 5.9 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 10.4 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (3 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #452,373 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

27 of 28 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars EXCELLENT AND CURRENT GUIDE TO DIRECT COMMUNICATION!, November 10, 1998

By A Customer

This review is from: Say What You Mean/Get What You Want: A Businessperson's Guide to Direct Communication (Paperback)

This book was the most useful recent guide to direct communication that Ihave read over the years. Going all the way back to Manuel J. Smith'sclassic "When I Say No, I Feel Guilty." With only a quick reading of the first two chapters - on a short plane trip heading into an important negotiation, - I was able to gain tremendous clarity on what I really wanted from would normally have been a very difficult communication situation. I was able to move from "problem-based" anxiety to "solution-based" purposefulness. While still in the air, I wrote out some clarifying sentences as described in Chapter 2. Upon landing and getting to my meeting, I was then able to operate within a framework of knowing exactly what outcome I wanted from the negotiation and how to say it effectively to the other side. The proof is in the results: I achieved an outcome that was far better than I even imagined!

Since that experience, I have read the rest of the book and found it to address most of the difficult problem areas that I have had in the past with direct communication. It is apparent that the author has a very good grasp of the various contexts where communication can become problematic for the average communicator, such as intercepting an indirect attack and surviving an aggressive attack. What was particularly useful was the emphasis on how to eliminate the most common barriers to directness. The authors work goes beyond simply presenting a collection of pointers on assertive communication. Instead, the work presents a system for effective communication that the author refers to as I Mean Business Modus Operandi (IMB MO). In my short experience of using this system, I have found that it applies not only to business relationships but also to personal relationships. I find myself referring back to the book whenever I need to know how to best handle a challenging personal or business communication matter.

My only suggestion for improvement is that a registration form for the author's Say What You Mean Get What You Want Workshop be included in the back of future editions of the book by the publisher. To become highly competent with the IMB MO system, like with any other approach, a reader will need to commit to practicing it over time. Unless you are extremely self-motivated, this task can be a challenge. Attending at a workshop would allow the concepts to sink in faster. Together, the book and some coaching could produce incredible results for those desiring improvements in their direct communication style. Nevertheless, using the book along with some self-motivation can still take you a very long way!

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Great Interpersonal Development Practice, February 28, 2002

By 

Kah Hou Chan (Malaysia) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Say What You Mean/Get What You Want: A Businessperson's Guide to Direct Communication (Paperback)

This is a great book that teaches you to be positive thinking. It is hard to stand firm and sensible when you meet an awful lot of people who are hostile, cold or sarcastic in everyday's life. As our society tends to become more electronic environment, we need some skills to prevent us from being cold and lost. This is the book which teaches you how to convert a hostile situation into a negotiable one; It tells you how to speak well politely and get what you want; If you meet an unreasonable customers, what to say in order to make him/her know that he/she is making an unreasonable request; It lead you to learn from using a single 'if' to a 'when' in order to initiate yourself to start a positive life; It shows you how to use an 'and' instead of 'but' to conduct a positive conversation. This is a great book everyone should learn since childhood!! As the author said: The best gift parents can give to the children is the ability to talk positively & act on it...(something like that).

5.0 out of 5 stars Awesome primer on improving communication, February 12, 2008

By 

Jeffrey L. Pett (Mesa, AZ United States) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Say What You Mean/Get What You Want: A Businessperson's Guide to Direct Communication (Paperback)

I read this book with some uncertainty about its value. I was happily surprised by the practical and useful information and ideas. The techniques described are simple but very powerful. I have already utilized Dr. Tingley's ideas in my professional life (a hospital laboratory) with incredible results. Furthermore, her ideas have greatly assisted me in communication in my personal life. I know I sound like a cheerleader, but her ideas and examples are powerful and more importantly, THEY WORK.