Customer Reviews

What Your Mother Couldn't Tell You and Your Father Didn't Know: Advanced Relationship Skills for Better Communication and Lasting Intimacy

5 star:		(12)
4 star:		(3)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

I don't know why I don't enjoy John Gray's writing style. But I'm really glad I ignored my dislike of it to read this book. The information and suggestions are powerful stuff. Very useful, especially for healing a relationship that began great and has gone awry. And it's not necessary to get your partner to read it--a point which is especially appealing to women. You can make changes in the way you communicate and experience your partner changing also into a better partner/communicator/relator. I admire John Gray for continuing to make his nourishing ideas so accessible to so many. I'm sure critics other than me criticize his writing style and I'm glad he ignores us to make so many people happier.

Many people will percieve that this book is focused ONLY on romantic relationships. This book helped me understand my father as well as the men that i work with as well as relationships. If you understand why people do what they do, then you have a chance to resolve conflicts, and you can choose not to take it personally. This book changed my entire perception of men and brought me closer to my family. It is far better than the better known "Men are from Mars..." book because it provides detailed examples and recommendations for handling situations. It is easy reading. I just keep wondering how John Gray figured all of this out. I am glad I found this book. It is great for MEN and WOMEN.

Although I'd read some of John's other Mars and Venus books, this one spoke to me like no other. I listened to it on audio over a couple of weeks (while walking my dogs!) I've also listened to it with my husband and it really sunk in with him, too. It made a difference right away in how we communicated with each other.

This is going to be the book that brings our marriage back to where it should be and where it used to be....thank you John Gray! I am buying 5 copies to give my family and friends for Christmas.

Although I read is the Chinese version,I am attractived by this book indeed. It reach my problems so directly. After I read it, I know why men didn't know my heart and I can read his mind,too. Now I am getting married, I am not afraid.Cause I get such good books to be my teacher. Thank you,Mr.John Gray and the publisher.

I am responding to the very negative review on this website - written by a man.- He seemed to think it would be only useful for women!! My husband is reading this book (from our local libary) and is so impressed with it that he asked me to get into your web site and purchase a copy! I am amazed at how it is helping him to understand himself and, after nearly 40 years of marriage he is now able to understand how to communicate more effectively with me.

This book was recommended to me by a very good friend who said that even her husband read it - which he does not do! My husband and I spent one hour each Sunday reading a chapter. This book really opened up our lines of communication and helped both of us to understand why we do what we do when we talk/communicate. This is another book that would make a good reference, keeper book for your personal library.

Recently, I revisited a taped copy of this book . . . and I remain convinced that it will benefit both males and females . . . the author really seems to know what makes both sexes "tick" . . . consequently, I found myself realting to many of the excellent points he raised.

Among the more memorable ones:
Women need to talk in a non-goal oriented way when they come home from work.

An advanced technique my wife uses: She asks me when can I listen?

The more a woman feels the right to be upset, the less upset she shall be.

Men hear, "You're not listening" as being degrading.

When a man is angry, give him space. When a woman is angry, let her talk.

The calm a man achieves through not talking, women achieve through talking.

Touch always helps center a female back to her female side.

The art of getting a result is knowing how to ask for it.

Let a woman alone if she is in a negative mood.

We experience pain in our relationships because we don't know how to share our love in ways that work.

If you are having any conflict in your relationship (and if you are breathing, you do) then this book can help you through some of the struggles. The beauty of it is that it helps you understand the other sex's perspective, wants, needs, and emotions...something that I wouldn't have been able to do in a thousand years without the help of John Gray. It is also amazing in that it helps you know and understand that, just because your spouse or significant other acts in a certain way that is undesirable or seemingly unloving, it is not because they don't love you, it is because that is simply the way they have been programmed to think and act since the beginning of time. John Gray also gives concrete steps and actions to take to help us work around some of the natural instincts that may be creating friction in our relationships. This book is truly worth its weight in gold....I have already sent 4 copies to the most important people in my life.
HOWEVER, there are certain caveats to my recommendation (that do not diminish the book's worth or importance). John Gray writes for the lowest common denominator. I agree with the reader who said that she couldn't stand his writing style. It is certainly not for everyone, as it can be a bit repetitious, and his use of analogies is mind-numbing. Men especially won't be able to look past the "cheezy" writing style. There is no way I am getting my husband to read this. However, it is most definitely worth slogging through, I just wish that John Gray would take his own advice and realize that Men are From Mar, Women are From Venus, and the same communication and writing style won't necessarily work for both.

We found this much more useful than the original Mars/Venus material, since we had a lot of those skills under control. This material goes quite a bit further and has really helped us a lot. Well worth a listen!

This book thoroughly explains the major differences between Venus and Mars. I especially enjoyed reading about Mars (cave time). This refers to the personal time Men need to reconnect with themselves. It also gave a synopsis of Mars and Venus in conversations. It's amazing how Men (Mars) interpret what Females (Venus) say. It's no wonder the two planets are always at war. If Men (Mars) could understand how Venus emotions work, maybe there would be less conflict between the two. This book covers many issues relating to couples and relationships. I highly recommend all women and men to read this book and others written by Dr. John Gray. He has a firm understanding on how Men and Women are total opposites in regard to life, love and the pursuit for happiness.