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What Narcissism Means to Me: Poems

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for the past year or so i have been making an attempt to become a fan of poetry. there have been some ups and many downs. but i am now pleased to give a shout out to a poet i can honestly call my first favorite. tony hoagland's the name. smart with words, this fella. sad stuff & funny stuff, & stuff to make one think about the old life. and a genius who avoids pretension i would say, and will say: a genius who avoids pretension. not one reference to greek mythology in these poems (thank God!) as far as i can recall. intelligent straightforward and a joy to read. he riffs with words like john coltrane does with music, free from cliche, hitting unexpected places: places that are either fun or a revelation to visit. i loved this book, as well as his equally great "sweet ruin." i suggest that you read this man's work.

While taking a poetry class from Mark Jarman, I had the chance to hear Tony Hoagland read selections from this, his newest book, as well as selections from Donkey Gospel, along with some unpublished works. If at all possible, hear this man read his poetry--it is incomparable and surprisingly refreshing. I usually don't like poetry readings, but after hearing some of these poems, I ended up buying two of his books, and they haven't ceased to amaze me yet. This poetry is not afraid of mentioning such common things as a "kissy-face," and at the same time, not afraid to confront the emotions tied to being a human being.

The first thing I noticed about Tony Hoagland's poetry is his fearless approach to the blunt truth. With censorship still a touchy literary topic, questions stir in my mind from leading lines like "Black for me is a country / more foreign than China of Vagina" directly proceeding two poems with extremely angry overtones, "Hate Hotel" and "Fire". He is a poet truly in touch with and in an understanding of his feelings, with the skills to create his raw, uncensored emotions in our own experiences.

Some of my favorite poems are "Phone Call", in which Hoagland's speaker realizes the sadness of his father's life and the impact that the speaker's harsh words have on the now-frail man's spirit; "Appetite", in which the speaker's thoughts trail away from the restraint table and through a series of visually surreal images that reflect that ominous presence that is death-in-wait; and "America", in which Hoagland confronts his own questions about American capitalism while still being true enough to admit his own weaknesses against it - "And yet it seems to be your own hand / Which turns the volume higher?"

This honesty and fearlessness is empowering and refreshing. Hoagland uses shared experiences and actualities to encourage his reader to question their everyday actions and beliefs. Questions of homosexuality, capitalism, political correctness, and racism appear throughout this collection and force me, as a reader, to take Hoagland's hand and dwell within my own confusion and uncertainties.

I had the wonderful pleasure of seeing Tony Hoagland read at a conference in Austin, TX, and I can say without exaggeration that it was one of the most inspiring events I've ever attended. It's a sad truth that at many writing conferences, one can experience almost as much disappointment as they do elation. With Hoagland, though, there's no need to worry.

Hoagland's work is gutsy, comical, dark yet hopeful, accessible, and tenacious in its quest to clarify the human experience. I immediately purchased all of Hoagland's books, and read each one almost straight through. While I'll admit that the first section of "What Narcissism Means to Me" doesn't, in my opinion, equal the poems in the three sections after, many of the poems in this book--especially "Suicide Song", "Windchime", and "Man Carrying Sofa"--are honestly some of the best poems I've ever read, bar none.

Like all of Hoagland's work, I highly recommend this book!

I tried reading one of the poems over the phone to my friend but it just didn't work. You really have to read the words yourself to get the true genius of it. Do you love spite, self-deprecation, a beautiful observation and a good joke? Then this is for you.

What Narcissism Means To Me is an honest and artful way of presenting Tony Hoagland's world with certainty, sincerity and wit. His poems often are unyielding self-criticisms of his character as a whole, yet he manages to find the humor in the process and findings of his search. Hoagland's poems are bursting with personal details and introspection, yet while peering into the depths of his own psyche, he opens his observations up to the rest of our society. While examining the self, he wound up examining the universal themes of what it means to be an American today. It is not a necessarily a celebration of America; but rather an acknowledgement of Americans themselves which beg their own appreciation. The title is best explained in the poems "Narcissus Lullaby" and "What Narcissism Means To Me". In "Lullaby", Hoagland describes the joy of knowing (actually just suspecting) that someone is thinking about you. In "What Narcissism Means To Me", he compares self-love to hamburgers, "delicious but unhealthy, / or, depending on your perspective, / unhealthy but delicious." Hoagland would say if its narcissistic to want to be loved, then so be it - bring it on with all the calories, fat and grease - it tastes good. There is no shame or weakness in it; we are narcissistic beings and it is a statement of fact. Embrace those qualities that make us human rather than tear it apart as a character flaw. It is amazing what humans are capable of; living this life of constant struggle for beauty, art, and love. Tony Hoagland revels in this struggle and honors it with What Narcissism Means To Me.

Each poem in this small volume is exquisite, carrying out the task of poet and poetry by conveying a message that is startling in its simplicity. Even using this description, each poem transcends, with delicacy and strength, the commonalities we all share. What a remarkable poet!!!

I enjoyed very much reading these honest and fearless lines. The experiences that the poet takes up make the reader reflect over their own experiences and delve into many deep questions, such as death, capitalism and the frailness of the soul.

Joyce Akesson, author if Love's Thrilling Dimensions and The Invitation

But, in this hugely funny and sometimes mean-spirited, book, Tony Hoagland really gives the therapy community something to think about. I was particularly drawn to the poem "Hate Hotel" because of its forthright and unsentimental take on the power and passion of hate. I was also intrigued with "Suicide Song", which reflected a mature understanding of why, as we grow older, the only responsible choice is "life."

If you're looking for a book that is funny, wise, and sometimes wicked, this is the book for you.

Tony Hoagland's new book, What Narcissism Means to Me from Graywolf Press, is almost perfect. From the conversational beginnings, where he shares a beer on a summer porch, to the last poem (reprinted on the back page of the American Poetry Review Nov-Dec issue) every poem sings sweet truth.

The thoughts here aren't everyday- but he makes them sound as if they are. He doesn't hold himself up by some MFA bootstrap, lording his poetic density over your head like an anvil, he points out direction as if saying "Look- did you see that? Amazing, isn't it!" He limns carefully crafted images while never letting you see how hard he must have worked to make things seem so simple.

highly recommended- *****