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What No One Tells the Mom: Surviving the Early Years of Parenthood With Your Sanity, Your Sex Life and YourSense of Humor Intact Paperback – April 5, 2005


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Product Details

  • Paperback: 288 pages
  • Publisher: Perigee Trade (April 5, 2005)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0399530819
  • ISBN-13: 978-0399530814
  • Product Dimensions: 7.9 x 5.2 x 0.8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 7.2 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (28 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,525,606 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

From Booklist

Stark follows up What No One Tells the Bride (2000) with an amusing look at the realities of motherhood. Drawing on her own experiences giving birth to her first child at the age of 33, as well as interviews with 100 women, therapists, marriage and sex researchers, child psychiatrists (and a few husbands), Stark offers survival tips to mothers. Her primary advice for them is to lower their personal expectations and resist the myth of the supermom. She takes aim at common myths--that the stomach will shrink right after the baby is born, that baby blues last only a few days, that fathers will share in the work--and advises women on how to deal with the stress and enormous work of becoming mothers. She focuses on the first five years of motherhood and the demands of balancing expectations of fathers and children and the woman's own need for personal time, advocating that women develop "mompools," or bands of supportive mothers. Good, sound advice. Vanessa Bush
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved

About the Author

Marg Stark is the author of What No One Tells the Bride. A graduate of Mount Holyoke College and Northwestern University, she has written for magazines such as Ladies' Home Journal and Parenting.

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Customer Reviews

4.2 out of 5 stars
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See all 28 customer reviews
Marg, Thank you for such an insightful book on motherhood.
Michele Batz
I was reading your book while eating lunch at a restaurant and laughed so loudly at one point that everyone stopped to look at me!
Judy Mandel
When I get frustrated, or unsure of myself, I will read some again, and it validates my feelings and makes me feel better!
Laurie Hiatt

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

9 of 9 people found the following review helpful By Laurie Hiatt on October 20, 2005
Format: Paperback
As a first-time mom with a 13 month old, I've read lots of books about child rearing. But this one is my absolute favorite. After I finished reading it, I went back and started reading parts again. When I get frustrated, or unsure of myself, I will read some again, and it validates my feelings and makes me feel better! Sure, there are parts that don't really apply to me, or that I don't necessarily agree with, but 95% of this book worked for me. I found this to be the most HONEST of books of its type...brutally honest in parts. I highly recommend this book to any mother who occasionally feels frustrated, unsure, wacko, emotional, scatterbrains, or has ever said "what the heck am I doing?" I think my child, my husband, and I are all happier as a result of this book.
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7 of 7 people found the following review helpful By K. Porter on August 30, 2005
Format: Paperback
This book absolutely kept me from listing my kids on Ebay!!! Marg Stark has done a wonderful job of telling the absolute truth on motherhood...it's not pretty, but this book is reality. For me, it was like talking to a girlfriend...which actually mine were never this frank. This is my new "second baby gift". Make sure to add this one to your parenting book library or better yet, keep it beside your bed for all those days when you think you're all alone...you're not!
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful By Stephanie Chandler on September 5, 2006
Format: Paperback
Marg Stark is my hero. I loved her first book, "What No One Tells the Bride," and credit it with saving me from running screaming back to single life. I also buy a copy whenever it's time to attend a bridal shower. Now I'm a new mom and couldn't wait to carve out precious time to read this gem of a book.

There is no doubt that having children turns your life upside down. It can be especially challenging for those of us who waited until we were in our thirties to embark on the journey. No longer can we jet off on vacation the way we used to, make a "quick trip" to the store, or enjoy romantic weekends on a whim. There are trade-offs and changes in identity, relationships and purpose.

But the bottom line is that most women go through the same struggles. We will probably live the rest of our lives with parental guilt. But the trade-offs are all worth it and life has new meaning. That doesn't mean it's going to be easy. But it's okay to grieve your former life while you learn to embrace your new existence.

If there is one thing I have learned as a new parent, the key is to SURRENDER. I spent too much time worrying about what wasn't getting done and I suddenly realized that I was missing out on an amazing time in life. Once I gave in to the mounting stacks of laundry, the work that didn't get done on time, and stocked up on microwavable dinner options, life with baby began to get easier.

If you're a parent or becoming a parent, I urge you to read this wonderful book. It could save you months or even years of heartache. It's packed with wisdom and real-world anecdotes. This should be a best-seller!
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful By Michele Batz on June 23, 2005
Format: Paperback
Marg, Thank you for such an insightful book on motherhood. You discuss issues that "girlfriends" like to keep secret from each other and you put it out there for discussion.

This book is so refreshing to find out that you are not totally going insane when the baby arrives. You will find humor to tackle the life after baby and how to handle them with ease.

Marg gives us insight, humor and inspiration to use now and in the future to develop a loving, caring and fun family life. It was refreshing to read this book and now it came from someone who has lived it and not just sitting behind the desk!

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you.

I loved the book so much, we are starting a "moms pool" here in Illinois in September, 2005. Women need each to talk openly about what it takes not to be a supermom! Live each day and enjoy...who cares if it's not perfect! It's not suppose to be!!

Michele Batz, Winthrop Harbor, Illinois.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful By Judy Mandel on June 6, 2005
Format: Paperback
Thank you for giving me so many opportunities to laugh. I was reading

your book while eating lunch at a restaurant and laughed so loudly at

one point that everyone stopped to look at me! Thank you for exposing

the realities of motherhood, in a serious but humorous manner, and for

giving me so many strategies so I can cope more effectively. You have

really helped me come up with a new game plan and adjust my attitude.

Even the tiniest change began the ball rolling; reminding me about the

importance of that goodnight kiss, which I am now willing myself the

energy to do each night. Also, being a part of a "mom pool" is

contributing to making my marriage stronger and helping me cope better

with the stresses of mommyhood.

Marg, I feel so much relief now that you put the truth about motherhood

in writing. I have felt so much anger and rage at the women who came

before me for having this "secret society" instead of speaking the

truth. I understand that people are excited about having kids and

others don't want to spoil the joy, but I think that it strengthens us

as women when we tell each other the truth. There is such an epidemic

of despair in motherhood and that must lead to the negativism,

resentment, fights and affairs in many marriages. Marriages are

failing at alarming rates and most marriages end because of the women's

choice. It has got to be linked to feeling trapped and enslaved in our

our mothering roles.
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