What No One Tells the Mom: Surviving the Early Years of Parenthood With Your Sanity, Your Sex Life and YourSense of Humor Intact (Paperback)

~ (Author) "Before we embarked on the odyssey of parenthood, my husband, Duke, and I perceived ourselves as passionate and defiant..." (more)
Key Phrases: San Diego, New Jersey, San Francisco (more...)

Editorial Reviews

From Booklist

Stark follows up What No One Tells the Bride (2000) with an amusing look at the realities of motherhood. Drawing on her own experiences giving birth to her first child at the age of 33, as well as interviews with 100 women, therapists, marriage and sex researchers, child psychiatrists (and a few husbands), Stark offers survival tips to mothers. Her primary advice for them is to lower their personal expectations and resist the myth of the supermom. She takes aim at common myths--that the stomach will shrink right after the baby is born, that baby blues last only a few days, that fathers will share in the work--and advises women on how to deal with the stress and enormous work of becoming mothers. She focuses on the first five years of motherhood and the demands of balancing expectations of fathers and children and the woman's own need for personal time, advocating that women develop "mompools," or bands of supportive mothers. Good, sound advice. Vanessa Bush
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved

Product Description

For women who are convinced that "postpartum" is Latin for "the good times are over," What No One Tells the Mom is a lifeline to hope and happiness. Marg Stark-using her own hard-earned wisdom along with advice from real parents and a range of experts-offers coping strategies for the first five, most turbulent years of motherhood.

New moms will learn how to:

- Resist the Supermom myth
- Bring the zing! back to the bedroom
- Surprising ideas for taming tempers and raging hormones
- Bring some calm to household chaos
- Stay-at-home or back-to-work: how to make it work
- Tricks and tips for training Dad and not killing him in the process
- Stamp out stress and savor time with their new family

A sanity-saving book filled with wit and wisdom, What No One Tells the Mom is the next best thing to having girlfriends, sex experts, and communication gurus on speed dial through this challenging, but ultimately rewarding, time.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 288 pages
• Publisher: Perigee Trade (April 5, 2005)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0399530819
• ISBN-13: 978-0399530814
• Product Dimensions: 7.8 x 5 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 7.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (26 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #330,629 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

8 of 8 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars I'll read parts over and over, October 20, 2005

By	Laurie Hiatt "Fresh Betty" (Windsor, CA) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

As a first-time mom with a 13 month old, I've read lots of books about child rearing. But this one is my absolute favorite. After I finished reading it, I went back and started reading parts again. When I get frustrated, or unsure of myself, I will read some again, and it validates my feelings and makes me feel better! Sure, there are parts that don't really apply to me, or that I don't necessarily agree with, but 95% of this book worked for me. I found this to be the most HONEST of books of its type...brutally honest in parts. I highly recommend this book to any mother who occasionally feels frustrated, unsure, wacko, emotional, scatterbrains, or has ever said "what the heck am I doing?" I think my child, my husband, and I are all happier as a result of this book.

7 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars This book saved my kids!!!!, August 30, 2005

By	K. Porter "mamanurse" (Naperville, IL) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

This book absolutely kept me from listing my kids on Ebay!!! Marg Stark has done a wonderful job of telling the absolute truth on motherhood...it's not pretty, but this book is reality. For me, it was like talking to a girlfriend...which actually mine were never this frank. This is my new "second baby gift". Make sure to add this one to your parenting book library or better yet, keep it beside your bed for all those days when you think you're all alone...you're not!

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Should be a mandatory baby shower gift!, September 5, 2006

By	Stephanie Chandler "Author/Speaker: LEAP! 101... (Sacramento, CA United States) - See all my reviews

This review is from: What No One Tells the Mom : Surviving the Early Years of Parenthood With Your Sanity, Your Sex Life and YourSense of Humor Intact (Paperback)

Marg Stark is my hero. I loved her first book, "What No One Tells the Bride," and credit it with saving me from running screaming back to single life. I also buy a copy whenever it's time to attend a bridal shower. Now I'm a new mom and couldn't wait to carve out precious time to read this gem of a book.

There is no doubt that having children turns your life upside down. It can be especially challenging for those of us who waited until we were in our thirties to embark on the journey. No longer can we jet off on vacation the way we used to, make a "quick trip" to the store, or enjoy romantic weekends on a whim. There are trade-offs and changes in identity, relationships and purpose.

But the bottom line is that most women go through the same struggles. We will probably live the rest of our lives with parental guilt. But the trade-offs are all worth it and life has new meaning. That doesn't mean it's going to be easy. But it's okay to grieve your former life while you learn to embrace your new existence.

If there is one thing I have learned as a new parent, the key is to SURRENDER. I spent too much time worrying about what wasn't getting done and I suddenly realized that I was missing out on an amazing time in life. Once I gave in to the mounting stacks of laundry, the work that didn't get done on time, and stocked up on microwavable dinner options, life with baby began to get easier.

If you're a parent or becoming a parent, I urge you to read this wonderful book. It could save you months or even years of heartache. It's packed with wisdom and real-world anecdotes. This should be a best-seller!