Customer Reviews

What the Other Mothers Know: A Practical Guide to Child Rearing Told in a Really Nice, Funny Way That Won't Make You Feel Like a Complete Idiot the Way All Those Other Parenting Books Do

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LOVED THIS BOOK!!

I'm not a mom. I'm a dad, of an only child, now 24 and on her own. So, my wife and I went through all the panic and angst of first-time parents a long time ago, facing each new crisis ("Arghh! What do we do now?") as it came, stumbling through as best as we could, seeking advice from others who had trod the parenting path before us. Our poor kid must've felt like a science experiment as we tried "A," "B" and "C" until we finally got it right. When we saw this book, my wife and I bought it with a mind to giving it to "first time" moms (and dads) like we were. It is fabulous. Doesn't claim to be the be-all-end-all parenting book. Rather, it delivers wonderfully on its subtitle:

"A practical guide to child rearing told in a really nice, funny way that won't make you feel like a complete idiot the way all those other parenting books do."

Written by three working moms who combined their years of practical experience along with that of lots of "Other Mothers" so that we can learn all those lessons the "easy way," not the "hard way." Full of tidbits and tips from birth up into elementary school, ranging from the obvious to the devious. Funny, great perspective on dealing with that new person in the family which seems so tiny, yet changes us so fundamentally. Very easy to read. The book we wish we had when our child was an infant.

We have given this book to three first-time parents so far. Each of them has loved it, and thanked us profusely. We will give it to every single first time parent we know, and are telling all our younger friends about it.

I've read more parenting books over the years then I care to count. Each book had it's points that I related to, while others I just skimmed over. This book has something for everyone. It's funny, honest, and while some may not agree about the many social pressures of child rearing, or feeding your kid macaroni and cheese, they are facts of life. It's a little "out of the box" which appeals to me. I enjoyed it.

Too bad this book was too late for me but I have given it to my new mother nieces and they have loved it. I got a lot of, "Are you kidding me?" and "Shut up!" when they read about all the stuff they never even knew existed. And I said, "Oh, yes, all true." Parenthood is a minefield and THIS is the map that gets you thru it without blowing up your kid or yourself. And it's a quick easy read that you can absorb without stress because the stuff is so funny you can't forget it. Even my nephews-in-law picked it up so you know it's good if a father will read it. Now I wish they'd write one about what they know about menopause. Quick!

As far as parenting books go, it's not bad. Light, fun and helpful. I do appreciate a book that doesn't say, "Do it this way or the world will end!!"

That said, I've always found it far more helpful to talk to other people than to read books for parenting tips. & though other mothers going through the same thing will always be invaluable, a lot of what I read in this book and have learned as a mother also comes simply from common sense and talking to non-mothers as well. Any new perspective is helpful. I share not to criticize the book, but to encourage new mothers to find that ongoing support. For me, a lot of help comes from my husband and first-time daddy (2 heads are better than one)!

I also have a few things to add, because I did feel the book was out-dated in some suggestions.

1 - In addition to the mommy social groups mentioned in this book, look online. Parenting forums abound on the internet and if you ever have any questions about anything, you can probably find a quick answer on these forums.

2 - The book briefly discussed magnet schools. In the 21st century, we also have charter schools. Living in a big city, the public education opportunities seem endless. (& most parents I talk to seem pretty clueless about exactly what options are out there). Smaller towns are obviously another story, but no matter where you live, open your eyes and look at the options available. (I'd probably be just as clueless if I didn't know the moms I do know - poorer ones who found the most excellent free educations, and well educuated/upper class moms who are charter school advocates).

3 - When I Read the part about small kids going to play-dates without their parents, I assumed this was a cultural/class difference at first. I thought about it later, and since the authors all have grown kids, I think it's just times have changed. I've let my 5 or 6-year-old go to play dates alone, but generally the only people willing to play along are parents with older children. (MUCH older children). Before age 5 - no one plays along. Seems to be a sign of the times.

This book has an interesting "hook" - getting the scoop from a mythical group of "other mothers." Things like lists of what to keep in your diaper bag at various stages of child rearing are interesting, but much of this book is full of horribly bad advice. Trying to find the perfect snack for the sports team? Fruit rollups! Never mind that they are terrible for the kids' teeth and might be loaded with artificial colorings, which many parents are now trying to stay away from. I was appalled when, in a discussion about how to get kids interested in sports, different advice was offered if the parent has a boy or a girl. Really. Are we still so locked into gender differences even in this day and age? My four year old daughter loves sports far more than princesses. I was even more alarmed at a piece of advice about preschools. The gist of the advice was, "don't panic if the teachers at your child's new school suggest some sort of diagnosis or think something is wrong with your child, just trust your pediatrician." The example in the case: a 2.5 year old boy who was not talking and whose new preschool teachers thought he was autistic. The mother panicked since her pediatrician had told her there was nothing to worry about. Um, again, in this day and age when autism is dramatically on the rise, a pediatrician who tells you that being nonverbal at 2.5 is nothing to worry about is the one who should have his or her head examined. At the very least a pediatrician should make a note of the not talking and run through a toddler autism checklist to make sure there are no other red flags. A teacher who raises this concern is not one to be ignored.
I also found it annoying that the vast majority of stories from this book seem to come either from New York or Los Angeles and feature how to deal with your child being bullied by a celebrity's kid, what to do if a kid is rude to your housekeeper, and how to get into those elite preschools. Even though I live in a big city most of this stuff did not seem to apply to the average mom out there.
I keep flipping through this book looking for hidden gems, but so far have found only a tiny few.

This is the Mother"s "Bible" on the obvious things that you usally learn by mistakes. With this book you need not "Learn by mistake" These mothers who wrote this found out and are now sharing their mistakes to the world.
I use it as part of evey baby gift I send out to new Moms

If this represents the current status of parenting I think we should all be concerned:

* "One mother's opinion is that child proofing has become a high end industry only after nannies became more affordable to the middle class. She says we have to childproof because we're afraid the nannies aren't watching the kids as closely as they should be."

*Staples for the kitchen of any home with children under the age of twelve: all purpose flour, sugar, confectioner's sugar, hidden valley ranch dressing, hot dogs, chicken tenders, macaroni & cheese, canned soup and chocolate chips >In fairness to the authors they did include the ever nutritious celery and tiny bagged carrots as the vegetables on their list!

* Advice includes serving on Little League boards and sucking up to private school administrators to be sure your child is "treated well" and having multiple birthday parties when there are just too many kids to include in one party.

* One woman states that her instincts told her she didn't have time to be like these women yet she wanted to be sure her Jenny could "keep up" so she befriended some of them.

Have we as women become so numb that we no longer listen to our instincts?

It saddens me deeply to think that some of the women of our world are so concerned about their child being at the front of the line that they fail to see them for who they are rather than as another item to be managed on their blackberry.

Leave this one on the shelf and spend time directly with your child instead!