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What Really Matters: 7 Lessons for Living from the Stories of the Dying [Paperback]

Karen Wyatt MD
4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (24 customer reviews)


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Book Description

February 21, 2012
What Really Matters chronicles the life transformations experienced by Dr. Karen Wyatt and her patients and their family members during hospice care. This book of beautiful and uplifting stories about the lessons learned from the dying is also a guidebook for those who are feeling lost or hopeless about their lives in this contemporary world. What Really Matters reveals how the confusing maze of the suffering and pain at the time of death can lead to the ultimate destination of meaning, purpose, and growth for both the dying and the living. Read this book-it has the power to change the way you see everything about:. the meaning of suffering. recognizing life's priorities. letting go of limiting beliefs and past traumas. the true purpose of existence. the key to unlocking the flow of grace. transcending fear


Editorial Reviews

Review

"This is a highly recommended book for those in the land of the living from those who are no longer with us." Ken Wilbur

"A timely and important book that will help you live with greater joy"William Gladstone, author of The Twelve and The Golden Motorcycle Gang

"Dr. Karen Wyatt addresses a long-standing taboo in our youth-obsessed, feel-good society: death and the process of dying."Larry Dossey, MD, author of Healing Words

Wyatt (The Loss & Grief Survival Guide), a family physician specializing in hospice care, provides touching patient profiles to illustrate her seven life lessons, which include forgiveness, learning to "Dwell in the Present Moment," "Let[ting] Go of Expectations," and more. Readers are introduced to a range of patients: plagued by a degenerative neuromuscular disorder, Ashley is an effectively comatose 18-year-old who can only say "I love you," and whom Wyatt describes as a "pure vessel for the transmission of Divine love;" Ralph is a 60-year-old alcoholic living in a "tumbledown" apartment complex and dying of renal cancer who spends his final months drafting gorgeous pencil-drawings of "things [he's] seen in [his] life." Occasionally, Wyatt lapses into aphorism--as when she notes that "genuine forgiveness requires a shifting of one's energy away from hatred. . . toward healing--" but fails to follow up with practical methods for doing so. While some of her advice may come across as New Age-y, the overriding message--to "not only accept change" but "embrace impermanence"--has roots in many traditional systems of spirituality, allowing this book to appeal to a wide swath of readers. While not always a pragmatic guide to coping with tragedy and loss, Wyatt's newest is nevertheless an inspirational volume. (Feb) PUBLISHERS WEEKLY

About the Author

Dr. Karen Wyatt is a family physician who has spent much of her twenty-five-year career as a hospice medical director caring for dying patients in their homes. Author of A Matter of Life & Death, and The Loss & Grief Survival Guide, Dr. Wyatt has lectured and written extensively on end-of-life issues with an emphasis on the spiritual aspects.

Product Details

  • Paperback: 174 pages
  • Publisher: SelectBooks (February 21, 2012)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1590792173
  • ISBN-13: 978-1590792179
  • Product Dimensions: 8.9 x 6 x 0.6 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (24 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #758,101 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Karen M. Wyatt, MD is a family physician who has spent her 25 year medical career working with patients in challenging settings, such as hospices, nursing homes and indigent clinics. She has founded a free medical clinic in a homeless shelter, accompanied three medical mission teams to Honduras, and led a non-profit clinic for the uninsured in its growth from a 4-hour per week all-volunteer operation to a full-time, full-service medical center. Motivated by her compassionate heart she has put her spiritual beliefs into action by being of service to others in need and by developing "Creative Healing," an initiative to integrate spirituality into traditional medical practice. She has twice testified at Senate briefings on the cutting edge model of integrated medical care, combining physical and behavioral health, which she helped create and implement in her clinic for the uninsured.

In addition to her devotion for helping others, Dr. Wyatt has had a passion for writing since she was a child. At the age of 10 she wrote a 3-act play that was later produced and performed by her 4th grade class as a school project. From that point on she expressed her love of words by writing poetry, plays, short stories, essays, songs and screenplays as a hobby. During medical school she helped organize a group of students into "The Not Ready for Exam-Time Players" who wrote and performed skits and song parodies to entertain the school's entire medical community.

Applying her writing skills to medical topics, Dr. Wyatt has written two books: "What Really Matters: 7 Lessons for Living from the Stories of the Dying," based on her experiences caring for hospice patients; and "A Matter of Life & Death: Stories to Heal Loss & Grief," which centers around her own experiences recovering from grief.

Dr. Wyatt received the Spirit of the American Woman Award in1996, was named one of Utah's 100 Notable Women in that same year, and in 2005 was a recipient of the Outstanding Citizen of the Year Award for Summit County, Colorado.

Customer Reviews

I appreciated this book and feel the world would be a better place if people read it and applied these lessons to their lives. christinemm - The Thinking Mother  |  11 reviewers made a similar statement
Dr. Karen Wyatt has to be the most incredible amazing wonderful person in the world. Daniel G. Lebryk  |  5 reviewers made a similar statement
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
10 of 10 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A Physician of Extraordinary Means March 3, 2012
Format:Paperback
Simply reading the opening sentences of the author's biography sets the reader up for an experience that demands close attention: 'Karen M. Wyatt, MD is a family physician who has spent her 25 year medical career working with patients in challenging settings, such as hospices, nursing homes and indigent clinics. She has founded a free medical clinic in a homeless shelter, accompanied three medical mission teams to Honduras, and led a non-profit clinic for the uninsured in its growth from a 4-hour per week all-volunteer operation to a full-time, full-service medical center. Motivated by her compassionate heart she has put her spiritual beliefs into action by being of service to others in need and by developing "Creative Healing," an initiative to integrate spirituality into traditional medical practice. She has twice testified at Senate briefings on the cutting edge model of integrated medical care, combining physical and behavioral health, which she helped create and implement in her clinic for the uninsured.' How anyone can read those lines and not come away touched by the humanity of this extraordinary physician and being would question sensitivity and capacity of the reader.

WHAT REALLY MATTERS is written in response to some life experiences by Wyatt: the suicide death of her father may have submerged her in grief but it was that experience and her subsequent experience of entering that rarefied space that surrounds death and dying in the setting of hospice care that opened some spiritual windows, acts that she so graciously and supportively shares with us in this intelligent, sensitive book. She writes in her introductory chapter 'There is no place on Earth we can look without seeing death. In the transition from one season to the next, in the tangle of a spider's web, in the falling of a star across the sky - we behold the Truth of Life: that matter disintegrates, that life dies. Our mortality is the one most fundamental characteristic we share with every life form on earth - from plankton to platypus, from amoeba to aspen grove - all will die. Considering the abundant evidence that exists all around us, it is an unequivocal certainty that our current lives are going to come to an end. And yet, it seems that our modern society has forgotten this fundamental truth of human existence: death is unavoidable.' From this starting point moment of truth Wyatt leads us into her lessons from the stories of the dying.

The reason for the '7 lessons' of the title references the seven last words of Christ on the cross, and while this book is applicable to all manners of faith, these words uttered by a dying man hold the secrets of the stories Wyatt shares. For example, Lesson 1 Suffering: Embrace Your Difficulties opens with the first of the last words of Christ - 'I thirst'. Each of the seven lessons follows this construct. She then shares stories shared by her patients in hospices who are in the terminal phases of life or the opening receptive phase of dying, showing how these fellow travelers perceive suffering as a final task and embrace it as a means of reflection of the true value of life not that they are arriving at the completion of the cycle. Lesson 2 is Love: Let your heart be broken, Lesson 3 Forgiveness: Hold no resentments, Lesson 4 Paradise: Dwell in the present moment, Lesson 5 Purpose: Manifest your highest potential, Lesson 6 Surrender: Let go of expectations, and Lesson 7: Impermanence: Face your fear. No, listing the titles of the lessons does not preclude reading the entire book: the manner in which Wyatt writes only invites elucidation of all of these concepts and her writing is so elegant and yet so supportively warm that by book's end we not only have a greater respect for death as closure, but also a healthier respect for Life as creative living in finding our spiritual core.

Dr Wyatt could have stopped at this point and still have provided some of the most supportive knowledge about the circle of living leading to the joy of closure of dying But she goes beyond this by extending her thoughts and the stories of her patients to addressing the manner in which we must view the planet earth. Respect is the word that comes most often to mind in reading the words of Wyatt. If we respect our bodies and our souls then it is only sensible that we respect all living things and one of those 'things' is our planet care. This is a book with so many aspects of helpful information, so much food for the mind, the heart, the respect of the life cycle, and the concern for the future of the world that it is clearly a book that deserves a wide readership. Highly recommended. Grady Harp, March 12
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
I began to read this book one afternoon and I couldn't put it down until I finished it at 2:15am! I found myself having to stop reading to get a tissue and cry a few times in recognition that we all are connected as one, as reflected in these beautiful stories Dr. Wyatt has shared. Several things occurred to me while reading this book - that I have six siblings that I do not have relations with since I moved our elderly mother to my state and that I must extend the olive branch to them so our mother can transition with peace - I wanted to share it with my mother as she has been afraid of dying and although it is inevitable, her spirit is not settled in seeing what a beautiful and natural process of life it can be - I wanted to share this book right away with my ex husband and two young adult children, and actually I would like to recommend it to all. It is the type of reading that makes one want to share it as it is a connector in this world to one another versus the divisiveness that is so prevalent. Love ... it really is all about love, and how to live and transition with love. A beautiful and profound book.

Donna Larner Lavery, MA Spiritual Psychology a.k.a. Primadonna - Emmy Award winning investigative journalist, consumer advocate, peace builder, entrepreneur, business and personal coach.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Outstandingand important book February 18, 2012
Format:Paperback
Rarely have I had an author on the program who's book could literally change someone's life, but Dr. Wyatt has written such a book. I would recommend this book to everyone. The lessons from the dying presented in her book should have a momentous impact on every reader's day to day lives.
John Austin
The Book Club
Tantalk Radio Network
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Amazing Stories!
I loved this book so much! It opened my eyes to how patients really feel towards the end of their lives. I am involved with Hospice and bring my dogs to visit patients. Read more
Published 1 day ago by SandyO
4.0 out of 5 stars Interesting and practical
I enjoyed reading the book and the depth of many thoughts. Especially there are valuable and helpful hints about what it means to live in the NOW. Read more
Published 1 month ago by Dieter Parczany
5.0 out of 5 stars What a blessing
Hooray for Dr Wyatt and the lessons she gleaned from her work with the dying. I borrowed it from the library so often I knew that I needed to purchase it for myself.
Published 1 month ago by Anne
5.0 out of 5 stars For Me: a life changing book
I read A LOT, and normally I do not buy books because I would not be able to afford to buy all the books I read. Read more
Published 1 month ago by Sally
5.0 out of 5 stars Death is the greatest lesson
This book is one I will return to time and time again. Its rich tapestry of stories and lessons feels like a whole education in death and dying. Read more
Published 2 months ago by Uma G
5.0 out of 5 stars For Anyone Who Really Wants to Live Life To the Fullest
I bought this book from Dr. Wyatt at a meeting of women of a certain age, who were interested in learning about what is going to happen later in life as they inch their way towards... Read more
Published 2 months ago by J. LaPoint
1.0 out of 5 stars New Age Hybrid Book
I give credit to Dr. Wyatt for completing the hard work it takes to become a medical doctor and for her years of experience. Here's what I don't understand:If Dr. Read more
Published 2 months ago by Ginger
3.0 out of 5 stars These do matter
These seven lessons are nothing earth shattering, but this is a good review of what is important in this life.
Published 4 months ago by manico
5.0 out of 5 stars Frank and gentle journey
I picked this book up from the library, as it spoke to me from the New Arrivals stack. I am just a few pages from finishing, but feel compelled to share that this author has done... Read more
Published 4 months ago by V. Lewis
5.0 out of 5 stars Ordered my own copy
This book takes a look at dying from the person dying. There are so many times we don't know what is happening with that person or what to say or what to take away from the... Read more
Published 4 months ago by Catherine K. Howard
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