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What Men Still Don't Know About Women, Relationships, and Love

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What Men Still Don't Know About Women, Relationships and Love is one of the books I wish I had read in high school, before dating, and certainly before marrying. This book subtly planted seeds in my mind that took root and grew like zucchini in the hot summer. I saw my first marriage in here, and my husband's first marriage, and my best friend's niece. . .as the days have gone on since I read this book, I see confirmation of Dr. Goldberg's theory on gender relationships several times a day. When I read that the end of a relationship can be predicted by its beginning, I thought, "Oh, come on, he can't be serious!" And then I read the list of the beginnings, and how those beginnings morph into a relationship that is destined to end, and I had to groan in recognition. Dr. Goldberg lays out how a woman's relationship with her mother -not her father--is primary in setting the stage for her romantic patterns. Now that I have read this book once, and have started reading it a second time, my eyes have been opened and I can't look at relationships in the same way anymore. The title may cause women to think they don't need this book, but any woman who passes it by is missing the chance of a lifetime to see things in a whole new light.

Dr. Herb Goldberg's new book offers penetrating insight and practical recommendations in a `how to manual' for readers interested in breathing new life into their relationships. "What Men Still Don't Understand About Women, Relationships, and Love" provides a comprehensive analysis of the causes, manifestations, and remedies for the universal `knots' that deny couples satisfying relationships.

Dr. Goldberg reviews social and cultural forces that undermine a couple's best efforts to enhance their relationship, including female and male liberation movements intended to bring `détente' to the `war between the sexes'.

Readers of Dr. Goldberg's latest book will be exposed to wisdom that comes only from an Elder in the field of male-female relationships. Couples will obtain information and skills as they are guided through the landmines that destroy marriages.

Men and women are challenged to accept specific ways they contribute to unhappiness that too often gets blamed on the other partner. Men and women have different needs, perceive the world in different ways, and express love in different ways. Dr. Goldberg offers wonderful vignettes to illustrate the most common conflicts men and women experience in their relationships.

This book does not offer a `quick fix' to relationship problems although readers are readily equipped with insights and tools that can be put to immediate use. Dr. Goldberg has re-entered the field with provocative ideas in a balanced way. This is a must read for all couples and those engaged in couples therapy. Looking forward to the next in a trilogy of books planned by this courageous pioneer.

In a happy relationship? In a dysfunctional one? Not in a relationship at all? It doesn't matter, reading this book will change your perspective on male-female relationships and all sorts of gender issues. Dr. Goldberg is a real pro and this book is one-of-a-kind.

I dont usually rate and review books on amazon but after reading this book i had to express my appreciation for the author for being brave to write this. I say brave because I have never heard some of the things written here and i have been researching male/female gender issues for a while trying to understand the Drama that continues in my and my friends life when dealing with women. When you read this book every so often your going to come to a passage and a scene will open up in your head that will co-inside with what your reading. Your mind will replay from your past and example of what your reading. It will all make so much sense the people will actually see the light bulb over your head. But the question is...Can love exist in a postmodern world...he does answer that...
Try not to be cynical after reading this but understand it is very sobering when you see the obstacles that prevent men from have fulfilling and healthy relationships.

Another great book by Dr. Goldberg! This insightful book is a must read for men and the women who love them . In his latest book, Dr. Goldberg helps to clarify the learned and often destructive behavior of the sexes, and gives men valuable information to enable them to take their relationships to a whole new level. I highly reccomend this book to anyone who feels frustrated in their relationships.

The brilliance of this book is that it treats both sides of the story: the male's as well as the female's, with, I feel, fairness and compassion. To call it "misogynist," as one amazon reviewer has, sends the wrong message. I mean, Dr. Goldberg speaks openly of men's failings too, especially when we are as locked into rigid masculine roles as women are in female roles. Then each of us winds up with distorted expectations of the other. I was really astonished by "What Men Still Don't Know About Women, Relationships, and Love." It just hit me with what seemed to me to be one undeniable truth after another. The amazon reviewer is correct, however, in stating that the conclusion of this book, as far as men are concerned, is indeed that relationships are dangerous territory--even a "no-win scenario." But I would rather attempt to use Dr. Herb's lessons to help me create a better relationship next time. I am sure it's possible if, instead of falling again for the pretty face stroking my ego by swooning over me, I can stay in touch with the underlying motivations--mine and hers!--and make an intelligent choice of female partner. I have read several of Herb Goldberg's books, such as "The Hazards of Being Male" and "The New Male-Female Relationship," and find that each one adds important information to the relationship lessons we men need to learn. After all, it is well known that women are the majority of buyers of relationship books. Hey guys, no wonder they've got it over on us! I believe that "What Men Still Don't Know About Women, Relationships, and Love" is one of this author's best. It aggregates the wisdom from Dr. Herb's years of experience as a best-selling author in this field. Wish I had read him 20 years ago!

I have admired Dr. Herb Goldberg's work for many years.

Dr. Goldberg is able to deeply understand opposing gender viewpoints, and come up with communication solutions that help everyone. Herb really opens up the lines of communication for us all who are struggling to get along. In fact, after I read Dr. Goldberg's book TWO times he provided insightful answers for my readers to 32 questions at www.drogrady.com. It's a must read!

Herb is a treasure as a psychologist, and I'm grateful that he walks the talk of good gender-free communication. Dr. Goldberg's work will help put an end to gender blame games that make us all spin our tires in frustration. Lastly, Dr. Goldberg is a courageous psychologist. He writes and speaks from the heart about extremely sensitive, easily misunderstood and tremendously emotional topics.

Order two books...not just one!

Dennis E. O'Grady, Psy.D.
Communications Psychologist
New Insights Communication
Dayton, Ohio, USA
Author, "Talk to Me: Communication Moves To Get Along with Anyone"
www.drogrady.com

To make a long story short - all relationships are doomed to failure, with the exception of a very small minority. The biggest problem, as accurately identified by the author, is that women fundamentally want two diametrically opposed things at once, and blame men for the cognitive dissonance that the unlogical female brain is aware of but unable to logically comprehend.

This is an oversimplification - I read the entire book in one sitting, it was that good, but am oversimplifying so as not to discourage you from reading it from one end to the other because you already know the plot. Suffice it to say that this explains to men why women seek out men who make tons of money then get upset when they work all the time to bring in said money, why feminism makes women miserable, and, frankly, why women will eventually despise you and take off, taking whatever they can with them (and feel entitled to everything you own as they kick you in the groin on the way out).

This sounds like the ravings of a masculinist, but once again, one must read the book to comprehend the nuances and proofs of this sad reality. The doctor lays out why relationships are a no-win scenario for a man. If he works, he's never home, if he doesn't, he's a layabout. If he's emotionally available for a woman, he's clingy, and if he isn't, he's a soulless unfeeling creep.

It will be a comfort to a great deal of men who can finally rest easy realising that, after all, they've been conditioned to be what attracts women, but that they will ultimately hate, and that there are very real gender and psychological differences as to why it's not even worth bothering starting relationships between men and women.

It would be difficult to give too much praise to Herb Goldberg and his outstanding work. This book should be considered required reading for all adults and adolescents, not just men. Goldberg articulates so well what we sense yet do not understand, and gives insight after insight into our dysfunctional male/female relationships. Men will benefit from reading this book to ease some of the guilt they are feeling, and women will benefit by understanding that they possess more power and thus responsibility for relationship dysfunction when mainstream culture pushes most of the guilt onto the man. This is evident in most movies and tv shows where the man is 'wrong' and the woman is 'right.' This book explains the shallow nature of the feminist movement, and how it used men as 'the enemy' to make women even sicker and men even more guilty, and how it is crucial for a man or woman to begin to understand their own process so they will not get sucked into the vortex of their mechanistic tendencies.

Don't be fooled by any idea that this book in any way favors men. It merely squashes some of the foolish notions that society has accepted without examining them. Because males have been very obvious in their problems for a long time, there needed to be a person to come along and give men a voice so that they could see that they were not entirely responsible for all the problems in male/female relationships. That person is Herb Goldberg. He shows in this book how women's contributions to problems are more difficult to see because they generally play a more passive role, however, they don't only fool their partners, they fool themselves of their innocence by willingly giving away their power so they can freely issue blame. This book merely evens the playing field. You're going to have to read the book because I cannot do justice to what the author explains so well.

As much as we may tell ourselves that we are unique and are not affected by mass neuroses, we must be affected on some level, and are probably affected at a very deep and unconscious level. Herb Goldberg will help you to see through how you are deluding yourself and are being deluded by others, and by raising your self awareness may help you begin to extricate yourself from insane and painful relationships. I am happy that I decided to read this book after being so impressed a few years ago with The Hazards of Being Male, which he wrote about thirty years prior to it. Consider the book required reading--this ain't doctor phil garbage, it's the real deal.