United Methodist pastor Elise Erikson Barrett draws on her own painful experiences, as well as on interviews with others who have gone through the devastation of miscarriage, in an effort to help women grieve and, in time, to think theologically about pregnancy loss. Barrett also offers some much-needed practical advice about breaking the news to others, coping with insensitive comments, and grieving what is often a private loss, unmarked by the world.
What was Lost: A Christian Journey through Miscarriage
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Editorial Reviews
Review
"What Was Lost is practical, informative, and spiritually wise, tackling the big questions of the spiritual life...Given how common miscarriage is...everyone should read this stirring book."
Lauren Winner
--barrett.wkjbooks.com
With the sensitivity of a caring pastor, [Barrett]...offers helpful reflection...to aid the reader's journey from hurt to healing and hope."
--Karen B. Westerfield Tucker, Professor of Worship, Boston University
--barrett.wjkbooks.com
"Although one in four pregnancies ends in miscarriage, spiritual resources for those who miscarry are shockingly hard to find. Barrett, a United Methodist pastor who has herself had a miscarriage, has written a useful book to fill the void she, and so many others, discover when miscarriage claims their unborn children and their expectations. Barrett shares not only her own story but also the comments of other mothers-to-be who have experienced grief and loss. The author brings uniquely Christian pastoral and theological perspectives that will help not only mothers but also spouses/partners, clergy, and friends. Christian clergy will find especially useful a chapter of resources, but everyone touched by miscarriage can learn from this reflective book. Mothers can take comfort that they are hardly alone and that God is not cruel; others can learn to replace the well-intentioned but too frequently painful bromides of consolation with more sensitive balm." --Publishers Weekly, July 12, 2010
"In writing What Was Lost, Elise Barrett [is] electing not only to claim her grief, but also to record it without self-indulgence and with the kind of grace that, in the hands of the skilled writer, turns personal narrative into communal solace." Phyllis Tickle, from the foreword
"Barrett's book is a great gift to those of us who must minister in time of loss." Will Willimon, author and Bishop, the North Alabama Conference of the United Methodist Church
Lauren Winner
--barrett.wkjbooks.com
With the sensitivity of a caring pastor, [Barrett]...offers helpful reflection...to aid the reader's journey from hurt to healing and hope."
--Karen B. Westerfield Tucker, Professor of Worship, Boston University
--barrett.wjkbooks.com
"Although one in four pregnancies ends in miscarriage, spiritual resources for those who miscarry are shockingly hard to find. Barrett, a United Methodist pastor who has herself had a miscarriage, has written a useful book to fill the void she, and so many others, discover when miscarriage claims their unborn children and their expectations. Barrett shares not only her own story but also the comments of other mothers-to-be who have experienced grief and loss. The author brings uniquely Christian pastoral and theological perspectives that will help not only mothers but also spouses/partners, clergy, and friends. Christian clergy will find especially useful a chapter of resources, but everyone touched by miscarriage can learn from this reflective book. Mothers can take comfort that they are hardly alone and that God is not cruel; others can learn to replace the well-intentioned but too frequently painful bromides of consolation with more sensitive balm." --Publishers Weekly, July 12, 2010
"In writing What Was Lost, Elise Barrett [is] electing not only to claim her grief, but also to record it without self-indulgence and with the kind of grace that, in the hands of the skilled writer, turns personal narrative into communal solace." Phyllis Tickle, from the foreword
"Barrett's book is a great gift to those of us who must minister in time of loss." Will Willimon, author and Bishop, the North Alabama Conference of the United Methodist Church
About the Author
Elise Erikson Barrett has worked in a variety of ministry settings, including youth work, hospital and college chaplaincy, and church ministry. A native of Indiana, she now makes her home in South Carolina, where she is the mother of three small children.
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More About the Author
A United Methodist pastor married to a United Methodist pastor, Elise is a native of Indianapolis who has been happily transplanted to South Carolina. She holds degrees from Hanover College and Duke Divinity School, and spends most of her time caring for her three children. While on family leave from full-time ministry, Elise continues to speak and lead retreats and other special events around the state, and has been grateful for the opportunity to write her first book. She hopes that people who have suffered through pregnancy losses will find it helpful and healing.
Customer Reviews
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
By C. Scott
Format:Kindle Edition|Amazon Verified Purchase
Reading through this book was like reading thoughts taken from my own mind. Miscarriage is the most isolating and lonely experience, and this book brought me so much comfort knowing I was not alone, and what I was thinking/feeling was completely normal. I have tried many resources in an attempt to heal, and this book is the only one I can honestly say helped. The reflective questions were wonderful and helped me write out what I couldn't say out loud. I would recommend it to anyone suffering from a current/previous miscarriage or anyone seeking to understand what a loved one experiencing miscarriage is going through.
6 of 7 people found the following review helpful
By mrs hummel
Format:Paperback
I miscarried a baby this fall. It was almost surreal - the experience was so much like Elise's first pregnancy. He was a little surprise due to some nfp miscalculations, but entirely beloved during his short eight weeks of life. I was devastated when was gone. In the past six months, I think I've looked for everything the internet and the Bible have to offer. I told my husband I was going to find the comfort and answers I needed, and that I might have to write my own book if I didn't find something excellent soon. Now I found what I was looking for. Elise discusses miscarriage and pregnancy loss with grace, strength and honesty. She does not shy away from the difficult questions like "Where was God when my baby died? Why did He make my baby and then allow it to die? Why did I lose my baby when others are born to moms who abuse them?", sharing her insights with compassion and encouragement. There is no "snapping out" of the grief of miscarriage, but Elise proposes that the same God who brings redemption out of a crucifixion can create beauty springing up out of the ashes of our mourning. This is the reminder I continually need in the waves of grief.
This book would be excellent for a grieving mom from any Christian tradition, especially if she has an academic or intellectual bent. I am very grateful for this book and I hope many women are able to appreciate it as well.
This book would be excellent for a grieving mom from any Christian tradition, especially if she has an academic or intellectual bent. I am very grateful for this book and I hope many women are able to appreciate it as well.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
By EPom
Format:Kindle Edition|Amazon Verified Purchase
I appreciated this book. I spent a long time searching for the "right" book for me following my 4th miscarriage (and no children)... this spoke to me. It does contain strong theological themes, which was fine for me as a Christian, but may be tough for others to follow or accept if they do not share the author's faith. Even with that, however, her story would likely resonate with most any woman who has experienced the devastation of pregnancy loss. There were some details of experiences shared in the books (for example, one of the dreams/premonitions that was shared) that were eerily similar to my own experiences. I was thankful to find that kind of connection throughout the book. I definitely experienced a sense of healing as I released some tears throughout. I gave it 4 stars instead of 5 because I felt there were some parts that were a bit dramatized. I know every person's experience is different, but some of it just really rubbed me the wrong way. Overall, however, this is a book I would definitely share with any woman walking through this kind of grief, especially if she was also a Christian.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars
Helpful
Helped me through the loss of my daughter. I needed this and for someone to give advice who had experienced the pain of losing a child.
Published 2 months ago by Alyssa Berner
5.0 out of 5 stars
Healing
This book is the first I've read since my recent miscarriage. It is very geared towards Christians, so I wouldn't recommend it to women who are not interested in the "God aspect"... Read more
Published 6 months ago by rbk lambert
2.0 out of 5 stars
OK
This book was alright, although not quite what I expected. I was really looking for a resource that discussed some of the the questions posed in this book, i.e. Read more
Published 12 months ago by Delphine
2.0 out of 5 stars
Lovely book, but there are better books on miscarriage
Reading a woman's intimate experience was special and helpful in ways. The book is somewhat limited. Read more
Published 12 months ago by Megan Austin
5.0 out of 5 stars
Great resource
This book was just what I was looking for. Knowing I was not the only woman going through a miscarriage at 14 weeks was worth every penny I spent on this book. Read more
Published 18 months ago by Shanna Kennon
5.0 out of 5 stars
what was lost: a christian journey through miscarriage
Gift for a friend and she truly felt some peace from the book. It was comforting, refreshing and very beneficial. Read more
Published 18 months ago by twltmum
5.0 out of 5 stars
My thoughts exactly...
This book provided what no other book, article, blog, counselor, friend, or family member has been able to so far. Read more
Published 19 months ago by Rachems
5.0 out of 5 stars
Helped me through miscarriage and infertility
After the loss of ten children from two IVF procedures and a spontaneous pregnancy that went horribly wrong, I found Rev. Elise's informative book and it is incredibly healing. Read more
Published on May 19, 2011 by Marlene B
5.0 out of 5 stars
What I found in What was Lost...
I found "What was Lost..." to be a profound look into the realities of miscarriage. I've never experienced one personally but my mother experienced two before my birth. Read more
Published on March 21, 2011 by Stacy A
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