Customer Reviews

What to Do When You're Dating a Jew : Everything You Need to Know from Matzah Balls to Marriage

5 star:		(19)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(5)

 

 

When I first saw this book, I was conflicted, maybe even insulted. But in reality, as a member of the Jewish faith, I am not the book's target. With an American rate of intermarriage that grows higher each decade, this book can't hurt. It can only help to make non-Jewish partners and spouses more comfortable among members of the North American, culturally Jewish tribe. The authors, 31, know a tad about their chosen subject. They have dated non-Jewish men most of their adult lives. Jennifer Block married a non-Jewish spouse, while Vicki Weiss' three siblings all married non-Jewish spouses. The authors witnessed first hand the questions these dates and spouses raised, and the social faux pas they made in front of older family members (you know, like ordering cheese and ham in a kosher deli, bringing bread to a seder, using mayo, buying retail, etc.). If the preceding line in parentheses irritates you, then this book will just enrage you. The book provides an overview and fingernail sketch of the basics of American Jewish practice, a briefing on the rituals and major Jewish observed holidays, and painfully entertaining stories from interfaith couples. You can tell it is a Jewish book, cuz it is peppered with Yiddish terms (sorry, no Ladino), and includes a recipe for chicken soup, and some Jewish jokes. The book has a translation of the Shema prayer, some other prayers, and some quotes, like that of Rabbi Hillel (If I am not for my self...) But a Jewish reader might find these perfunctory, since although there is a translation of the Shema, don't expect to find a deeper explanation or meaning of why the prayer or other quotes are central to the Jewish faith. The authors write that "shiksa" should not be viewed as a pejorative word. Yeah .. right, and if you believe that, let me sell you something at its retail price. Jewish readers might be confused, when they read the Shabbat is on the 6th day of the week, rather than the 7th; but please remember that the book is targeted to non-Jews, who view Sunday as the seventh day. The authors give brief explanations of the major holidays (Rosh Hashana, Yom Kippur, Hanukkah, Passover, and the weekly Shabbat). Even briefer explanations are given for the observance of Purim, Sukkot, and other holidays. But as the authors write, if you have to worry about these holidays, then you are dating a "super-Jew"; and maybe they are right, since those observing these holidays are probably not going to be seriously pursuing interfaith relationships. Or are they? So, if you are looking for a painless, glib, lite, humor-filled entry in Jewish foods, eating traditions, and holidays, it can't hurt to read this book, and it may raise questions for further discussion between the couple, or further, more serious study by both partners.

This book is loaded with information about not only Jewish laws, but the little traditions and rituals that aren't exactly covered in most text books. It is often these family traditions that catch the non-Jew off guard and end up putting them ten steps behind in the battle to win the family over.

More than just teach "what" the rules are, the authors do a briliant job of explaining "why". What I really loved was that they present the information in a very easy to read format that allows readers to dive into an issue or simply get a few quick tips.

But this book does more...while it is helpful to learn about the basics of Judaism, it is also wonderful to know that you are not alone "What to do when You're Dating a Jew" is enriched with stories from the front line of those involved in interfaith relationships. Often it is these types of stores and how those involved reacted that offer the best advice. The authors have done a great job of finding a perfect balance of stores that cover issues as light as what to bring for dinner and as intense as preparing for a wedding.

Probably the best part of the book is the use of humor. Those involved in interfaith relationships know how difficult they can be, but if we can't at least find a way to laugh at the situations, then too often the relationship can go sour. "What to do When Dating a Jew" does a perfect job of allowing the readers to laugh at themselves and those involved, yet does not take it too far and lose sight of the seriousness and difficulties involved.

Let a Jew read this book, they will laugh out loud. It's full of jokes that ring so true, you may even blush. However, it's also an extremely useful guide for non-Jews looking to learn a bit about Jewish religion and culture.

That said, please don't misunderstand. This is a fun readable book, not a serious reference work. If you need training in Talmudic interpretation, this isn't the book for you.

Ok, well it doesn't tell you everything you need to know when you are partnering with a person of the Jewish faith, but it does find ways to prepare you for the things you will see and hear in the months to come. I was raised Catholic, but my father's mother was Jewish and so I was familiar with the customs and such of the Jewish faith, but I needed a crash course in how to move from being familiar with customs to celebrating them with my partner and understanding where the faith that I love so much in them comes from. I also recommend making a meeting with a Rabbi to discuss any feeling or questions you might have about living your life with a person of the Jewish faith. I am now converted fully and thanks to this book, I am now reading books about Jewish weddings and I'm less than 10 months away from my wedding day!

I strongly recommend this book to anyone who is a non-Jew and is dating a Jew. My friends bought this for me as a joke when I (a nice Irish-Catholic girl) started seeing a Jewish guy....and here we are 2 years later in a very serious relationship.
This book helped me understand so much about Judaism. I knew what to bring to shiva calls and I knew not to blow out the candles on my boyfriend's menorah! And my boyfriend even read the entire book...he said it was a refresher course for him. There was some things in there that he had either forgotten or had never even known.
Trust me - this book is worth reading. I always keep it on hand in case I need to look anything up. And there are some great stories in there about other interfaith couples that you can really relate to.

I bought two copies of What to Do When You're Dating a Jew to give to two friends. One friend's daughter was engaged to a Jewish man and the other friend's son is married to a Jewish woman. I started looking through the book in the book store and decided that I needed a third copy for myself!

I have finished reading it now and found it as entertaining as it was informative. I enjoyed my friend's daughter's wedding so much more by understanding the traditions. I was even able to dance the hora with joyful enthusiasm!

The mother of the bride told me that her daughter had to buy her another a copy of the book. She had taken to her future in-laws home and they could not part with it.

I found the book packed with useful information. I would recommend it for anyone who would like a light-hearted, helpful, readable book. I found it to be a perfect gift for others, as well as for myself.

For a Catholic Girl, about to be engaged to a Nice Jewish Boy, this book saved me countless questions at every family meal! I read the book right before Passover and it was a wonderful source of info for that and all the High Holy days! My boyfriend laughed out loud at some of the narrative, and agreed with all the facts. In all seriousness, I was lost the first time I went to a Sabbath. I was so out of my element I was shy, and afraid to speak for fear of making an unforgivable error. That made for a very uncomfortable evening for all concerned. But after reading this book, not only did I lighten up, but I understood why we were doing certain things, and I was confident enough to really participate in the reading of the Haggadah. For a girl who is used to Amen's and Hail Mary's it was a delight to be able to participate. Sharing in my Fiancé's culture was even more wonderful! I have no intention to convert, but I can certainly use this book as a reference guide for our wedding as well!
Dating a Jew? Pick this up!

I bought this book expecting it to be a funny book about the trials of interfaith relationships and it was. In fact, it was greatly entertaining. I didn't expect there to be so much information that really tells you about being Jewish for a sheltered Protestant like me. I wish I'd had this book years ago when my non-Jewish friends and I held a surprise baby shower for our Jewish friend -- at her house! (You'll have to read the book to find out why this was a terrible error.) Our gracious Jewish friend never said it word about it. It was years later I found out where we went wrong.

Very funny introduction for those who know nothing about being jewish. Includes funny stories and helpful good recipies. If you are dating a jew read this before you go to his parents house for the holidays! It doesnt tell you everything you need to know, but it is a good primer for the totally clueless.

Useful and fun. This book is a "must read" for anyone who is in an interfaith relationship, and a mitzvah for anyone about to attend their first Yom Kippur services or make their first seder.