What Woman Want Men to Know: The Ultimate Book About Love, Sex, and Relationships for You--and the Man You Love [Hardcover]

Barbara De Angelis (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: August 22, 2001 | ISBN-10: 0786866950 | ISBN-13: 978-0786866953 | Edition: 1

FINALLY -- THE BOOK ON RELATIONSHIPS WOMEN HAVE BEEN WAITING TO READ -- AND GIVE TO THE MAN THEY LOVE!

You've seen her on TV. You've read her advice on relationships. Now, in her most powerful and provocative book yet, best-selling author and renowned human relations expert Barbara De Angelis, Ph.D., reveals everything women want men to know about loving and understanding the women in their life. This is the book women have always hoped someone would write -- one that women will read to understand themselves better, and can give to their mate, confident that it will explain everything women feel about love, communication, sex, and intimacy that they've always wished men would know.

WOMEN AND MEN WILL DISCOVER:

--The Three Secret Needs Every Woman Has

--Seven Myths Men Believe About Women And Why They Are Absolutely Wrong

--How To Avoid Turning A Perfectly Sane Woman Into A Raving Maniac

--Women's Top Twenty Sexual Turnoffs -- and Turn-ons

--The Ten Male Communication Habits That Drive Women Crazy

--Sexual Secrets About Women Men Need To Know

--How To Turn Power Struggles Into Cooperation

--Techniques for Being The Perfect Lover In and Out of Bed

--and much more.

IF YOU'RE A MAN: Read this book to learn what you can do to be a woman's dream come true.

IF YOU'RE A WOMAN: Read this book to learn why you are the way you are, and give it to the man you love so you can have the relationship you've always wanted.

"I've tried to explain my needs to my husband, but he just doesn't get it. I know if you explained it, he would listen!"

"Why can't my boyfriend understand that if he just did certain simple things, I would be so happy"

"Every time I try to talk to my wife about sex, she gets defensive. Could you please write something for men that talks about what women really want in bed"

Ever since Barbara De Angelis wrote the #1 New York Times bestseller Secrets About Men Every Woman Should Know, her readers have been begging her to write its counterparts book for both sexes that explains what women want men to know about understanding and loving the woman in their life. Delivered in her signature frank, provocative and down-to-earth style, this new book does just that, and is an insightful guide that women will read to learn more about themselves, and that they will be excited to give to the man they love.

HELPING MEN TO UNDERSTAND WOMEN

--Have you ever wondered why it's so hard for your mate to figure out what you need when your female friends understand you perfectly Learn about The Three Secret Needs Every Woman Has, and how to communicate them in a way men can really hear.

--Have you ever felt misunderstood, and wished you could explain to your partner how you really are Read about The Seven Myths Men Believe About Women and Why They Are Absolutely Wrong.

Barbara includes groundbreaking information on the nature of women that will make you feel better about yourself than ever before, and will help men understand the real you.

LOVE, INTIMACY & COMMUNICATION

--Do you ever feel like you might as well be speaking Swahili to your mate, because he never gets what you're trying to tell him? When you both read Five Secrets About How Women Communicate, you'll learn practical advice for transforming power struggles into cooperation.

--Are you love-starved Find out how to recognize the warning signs before it's too late, and learn Techniques for Feeding Your Partner's Heart

--Men, would you like to have a relationship with less hassles, less drama, and more fun Read about How To Avoid Turning A Perfectly Sane Woman Into A Raving Maniac.

WHAT WOMEN WANT MEN TO KNOW ABOUT SEX

Here's what you've always wished someone would tell men about sex: Five Sexual Secrets About Women that every woman should make sure her man reads.

You've never seen it put so bluntly before -- Women's Top Twenty Sexual Turnoffs -- and Turn-ons.

Barbara shares what women really want in and out of bed as only a woman can.

What Women Want Men To Know is a powerful, appealing book every woman should read and give to the man she loves, and a practical guide for every man who wants to learn how to understand and love the woman in his life.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Like John Gray, relationship expert and motivational speaker DeAngelis (Are You the One for Me?, etc.) highlights recognizable distinctions between the needs and communicating styles of men and women. Based upon the experiences of "tens of thousands of people" and women's responses to a questionnaire, her latest work aspires to offer "simple, practical ways to communicate and make both (sexes) happier." Though arguably bordering on stereotype, her easily digestible truths (women put love first, are creators, have a sacred relationships with time) can help both sexes gain perspective. But treacly writing (e.g., "no beauty treatment... outfit... jewels... can make a woman look as radiant as when she is feeling loved") and heavy-handed admonitions (e.g., to read the book "from start to finish") detract from more helpful observations. However, restraint is not DeAngelis's trademark, nor what fans expect. Though the focus is on interpreting women's behavior (e.g., viewing being "too emotional" as "in touch with feelings"), men's behavior doesn't seem to merit the same consideration. For example, she lists the top-10 male habits that drive women crazy (vagueness, emotional withdrawal, lying to avoid unpleasantness, bossing women around) without further elucidation. Perhaps DeAngelis is saving the interpretations for the sequel, but it's a shame to turn off men who may benefit from her genuine insights in, for example, the small but provocative section on sex. (Aug.)Forecast: Women will flock to this, as they have to her other bestsellers, but the intended male audience may prove difficult to capture.

Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information, Inc.

From Library Journal

DeAngelis (Secrets About Men Every Woman Should Know) here writes for both men and women, aiming to help men understand the women in their lives and to help women understand themselves more clearly. She divides her book into three sections: what women want men to know about them, about love, intimacy, and communication, and about sexual turnoffs and turnons. The material comes from DeAngelis's 25 years of counseling, events in her own life and the lives of her friends, and a questionnaire she sent to hundreds of women. DeAngelis has a frank, to-the-point style, but she is neither profane nor voyeuristic. She hopes that a woman could hand this book to her companion and say "Read this and you will understand me" and it is just that sort of book. It delivers what it promises, is compelling reading, and is easy to grasp, with boxed hints and the use of both boldface and italics to help readers separate her ideas. Her concepts of the "dove pie" and "Love House" are worthy of the price of the book. Great talk-show material, this will be popular in public libraries. Susan E. Burdick, MLS, Reading, PA
Copyright 2001 Reed Business Information, Inc.

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Product Details

• Hardcover: 384 pages
• Publisher: Hyperion; 1 edition (August 22, 2001)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0786866950
• ISBN-13: 978-0786866953
• Product Dimensions: 9.3 x 6.1 x 1.2 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.2 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (22 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #685,245 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

21 of 21 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Helpful for Discussing How to Have a Better Relationship, August 8, 2001

By 

Donald Mitchell "Jesus Loves You!" (Thanks for Providing My Reviews over 110,000 Helpful Votes Globally) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)    (HALL OF FAME REVIEWER)    (TOP 100 REVIEWER)   

This review is from: What Woman Want Men to Know: The Ultimate Book About Love, Sex, and Relationships for You--and the Man You Love (Hardcover)

Dr. De Angelis has written a passionate appeal to men that is designed to help them improve their relationships with women. This book will probably be given as a gift by wives to husbands and girl friends to their boy friends. If someone gives you this book, see it as an act of love that will help you.

While some books about what men need to know totally take the woman's perspective, this book is well balanced. Dr. De Angelis seems to understand male psychology almost as well as she understands her own. Years ago she wrote a parallel book on what men want women to know that demonstrates that understanding. In this book she is careful to keep that balance. For example, the beginning sections include separate messages to women and men for how to give and receive this book, and work with it in loving ways. She also states at several points in bold type, "I love men." She also doesn't seem to be trying to turn men into women.

The book's premise is based on thousands of contacts Dr. De Angelis has had with women and a questionnaire that she distributed. She points out that what she has to say doesn't describe every woman. Each is unique. Men are encouraged to discuss the points in the book to find out which of them do fit the women they care about. This kind of conversation will be an important and valuable use of the book.

The fundamental divide between men and women in relationships is that women put love first and it fills and colors every part of what they do and think about. Men put achievement first, and compartmentalize love into a small portion of their lives. A real eye-opener for me was one woman's love diary about her loving thoughts concerning her man. He was seldom out of her mind for more than ten minutes at a time. Few men would think about a woman as often, except during the most extreme times of early infatuation.

I found it mentally exhausting to think about all of the things suggested here to be more loving. The good news is that no one needs to do all of these things unless they want to and it feels terrific to do so.

The most useful advice in the book comes in terms of "reframing" or seeing what a woman does in a new light. Being asked where you were isn't "checking up on you" or "over control." You are encouraged to see this as a sign of deep commitment and caring. You also learn to make an occasional telephone call to remove these anxious cross-examinations that most men despise.

Realizing that most women do put love first, want to improve things creatively (not because they are bad, but just for fun), and are focused on time allows men the opportunity to connect to that reality with less effort and with less disruption to their own lives. On the time point, time expands for men (which is why we sometimes lose track of time) while it contracts for women (filling their minds with all kinds of awful thoughts about what could be going wrong).

The book's many suggestions for how to be viewed as a better husband will undoubtedly improve many relationships. I especially liked the section on things not to say. I was impressed to realize that my wife had asked me to say one of these things to her when I thought it was true (in a loving way) because she so much did not want to have that particular problem. This was a valuable insight to me.

For younger men, the section on what is pleasing to women about sex will probably be very helpful in making that part of the relationship better for both. My favorite example here was a woman who described sex as a "three" on a scale of one to ten with ten being the highest. The man said it as a "nine." Dr. De Angelis asked the man to describe why it was a "nine." As he told what he had been thinking, his wife was thrilled and she described hearing his thoughts about her as a "ten." Sexual pleasure begins and ends in the mind, and it is easy for men to lose sight of that.

As you can see, the examples and quotes in the book are very revealing and take the masses of lists and verbiage and make them practical and easy-to-understand.

After you have finished considering this helpful book, do take the time to discuss it with your wife or girl friend. Just reading about these ideas is not enough. You have to talk about them, and then follow up on the ones that feel right for you both. By the way, it's okay to suggest a duration for the first part of this conversation in advance.

Enjoy the happiness and serenity of a better relationship!

19 of 20 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars LOVE MAKES THE WORLD GO 'ROUND!, August 14, 2001

By 

Sandra D. Peters "Seagull Books" (Prince Edward Island, Canada) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: What Woman Want Men to Know: The Ultimate Book About Love, Sex, and Relationships for You--and the Man You Love (Hardcover)

I like this author's writing style and the easy, comfortable manner in which she graps the reader's attention. Barbara has, once again, separated the men from the women in her new book which looks at the communication gap between the sexes.

As a counsellor, I cannot tell you the number of times a man has sat across from me and said, "My wife does not understand me" or the number of times a woman has said, "My husband doesn't understand what I need from our relationship." This book will definitely help bridge the communication gap and open the doors to a fuller, enriched and more loving relationship. First of all, husbands and wives are not mind-readers, and the best solution to improving relationships is always a heart-to-heart talk to discover just what does please your partner, and what really ticks him or her off. Secondly, according to the author, "women put love first." I know of several men who also put "love first" but may show their love in an entirely different manner. Sometimes actions speak louder than words; words mean nothing, no matter how endearing or how many "I love you's are spoken," if actions contradict the words.

The only negative aspects encountered in the book were (1) the author's tendancy to stereotype men and woman, and categorize their needs into nice, neat little compartments, and (2) the author's somewhat flowery, mundane cliches. For those reasons, the book lost a star in the rating. In reality, based on years of experience in the field, it is a known fact not everyone fits into a common mold. Not all women have the same behavioural traits, nor do men. In regard to the list presented in the book which prioritizes the "top ten male habits which drive woman crazy", many of the habits would also drive men crazy. What man would appreciate being "bossed around", enjoy "emotional withdrawal" or would willingly accept "lying to avoid unpleasantness"? These are not habits that either gender would welcome.

Overall, the book does contain some very helpful advice in improving gender communication and is certainly a book worth reading... and contemplating. If one sees himself or herself among the pages it might serve as a red-alert, wake up call to smell the coffee before your partner finds someone else who IS ready and willing to provide what is lacking in the relationship. Hopefully, men will not view the book as "male bashing" and will share the same appreciation for the book as the throngs of women who anxiously await each and every one of the author's upcoming books.

7 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Explains alot about women., September 13, 2005

By 

HappyG (Northern Michigan, USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: What Woman Want Men to Know: The Ultimate Book About Love, Sex, and Relationships for You--and the Man You Love (Hardcover)

I was looking for a book to give me tips or ideas on how to improve my relationship. I am a guy and I need a list and I have a goal. This book does that, but you do have to read a little too. It is an easy read though. It also explains why women are the way they are. Strange but true. Guys-why do girls need to know where I went, who I talked to, how was my day, why I didn't check in. They have to be spying on me, right? It is a hard concept to accept and I still am having a hard time with it but this book helps explain why. How many times have we heard "let's have more quality time"? Well I have given out more details about my day like the people who came in, some problems I had, solutions I found,... at dinner instead of "fine" or "ok" and this was accepted as quality time. Granted she wants more, but I can do the quality time and eat at the same time. The book explains the telephone phenomenon which why my conversations last under a minute and hers are why they have "unlimited nights and weekends". Last example, I went to my wife and told her that "I appreciated all her hard work in her planning of making sure the kids and myself were happy." this was in the morning and when I got back home at the end of the day she was beaming and had a great day and the nice comment I said had made her day. Wow, that was kind of easy to do, even though I felt like a dork saying it that morning. Only draw back of the book was that I felt like my side of the story was not told and felt overwhelmed that this is a 2way street and what about how to make me happy? Granted, its usually quite simple and obvious but none the less needed. Well I have ordered her other book about what secrets guys want girls to know and that will probably do a good job doing just that. It should be here today. Good luck.