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What Women Don't Know (and Men Don't Tell You): The Unspoken Rules of Finding Lasting Love Paperback


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What Women Don't Know (and Men Don't Tell You): The Unspoken Rules of Finding Lasting Love + Secrets of an Irresistible Woman: Smart Rules for Capturing His Heart + How to Be Found by the Man You've Been Looking For
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 208 pages
  • Publisher: WaterBrook Press (September 15, 2009)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0307458504
  • ISBN-13: 978-0307458506
  • Product Dimensions: 8 x 5.3 x 0.6 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 6.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (56 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #73,775 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Hammond and Brooks, both seasoned authors and speakers for Christian singles, use a traditional, faith-based approach to help discouraged women find the man of their dreams. Before a woman aims for marriage, they maintain, she needs to be a "whole" person; this wholeness comes from a strong relationship with God. Biblical quotes and shopping metaphors abound as they advise women on difficult relationship issues, such as avoiding mistreatment and manipulation, letting themselves be pursued rather than taking the lead and even getting in shape, if need be, to ensure they present themselves as healthy and attractive. Hammond and Brooks also touch on the tendency of some women to nag and complain; they urge them to focus on being encouragers, and to embrace their feminine role, which, they claim, has more power than women realize, and is strong enough to "turn a man's heart toward God." Bottom line? Finding true and lasting love takes time. If a woman wants to get married, she must be patient and wait on God, for "patience allows love... to become the preeminent force in the relationship," and God wants to protect her heart and make sure that love doesn't cost her self-esteem or her faith. Though this is the first book in Waterbrook's new line of nonfiction aimed at the Christian African-American market, Hammond's and Brooks's warm advice could appeal to a broader audience.
Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From the Inside Flap

Why does the modern-day search for romance so often end in disappointment? especially for women? Is it something women do? Something they don?t do? Are women missing important information about the opposite sex?or about themselves? Is there something wrong with them that they long so desperately for ??til death do us part??

Sadly, many women today see their ongoing singleness as a weakness or lack of worth. In truth, women?s dreams go unfulfilled not because they do not deserve for them to come true, but often because of wrong assumptions?assumptions that can be corrected by learning a few key truths. In The Unspoken Rules of Love, authors Michelle McKinney Hammond and Joel Brooks seek to clear up these misperceptions, giving women the information they need to succeed in long-term, lasting male-female relationships and teaching them how to find satisfaction, value, and fulfillment in their relationship with God, both while they wait and after the wait is over.

Drawing on both the perspectives of its male and female authors, this book deals with the hard issues and the questions women ponder as they consider the dilemma of how to obtain lasting love. The Unspoken Rules of Love will help women adjust their desires, redefine what they are attracted to, set their values in order, and determine their goals?freeing them at last to pursue the loving relationships they desire. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

More About the Author

Michelle McKinney Hammond is the author of over 30 books on living, loving, and overcoming. She is the President and Founder of HeartWing Ministries, which hosts annual DIVA Weekend Getaway Conferences. As a relationship and empowerment coach, internationally known speaker, singer and television co-host, it is Michelle's mission and passion to help women and men to first be intimately connected to God and then empowered to become their personal best in order to experience victory in every area of their lives.

Michelle's ministry began many years ago when she suffered a devastating leg injury from being hit by a car. The accident was a spiritual turning point, a wake up call to embrace her purpose and fulfill her destiny. Those bedridden months gave her time to complete her first bestselling book, "What to Do Until Love Finds You."

Michelle eventually left behind her career as an advertising art director/writer/producer for clients such as Coca Cola USA, McDonald's Corporation, Ford Motor Company, and others, to speak to audiences, encouraging people to fulfill their God-given purpose in life.

Customer Reviews

4.6 out of 5 stars
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This book is simply worth reading again & again.
Tammy
Thanks Pastor Brooks and Michelle McKinney Hammond for your insight.
Cheryl M.
Most definitely would recommend this book to single women.
Chrissy

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

45 of 46 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on January 30, 2004
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I got this book after someone loaned me "If Men are Like Buses, How Can I Catch One?" Both books are very affirming and encouraging, I happened to read them at a time when I was losing hope and I can say that a few weeks later I am still inspired by these books. What I love about this particular book is hearing the guy's point of view on things, especially if you're stuck wondering if a guy is interested in you. Like a lot of women, I can get worked up wondering and where a relationship is heading. This book is like another pair of eyes and ears!
After reading both books I have a solid understanding of what dating and marriage is about and it will help me in discerning what to look for in a mate. I also love Michelle's writing style, I could just hear her in some of the chapters saying You Go Girl!!
As a side note, I got How To Be an Irresistable Women and found the same material as in her other books, the material is repetitive. But I totally recommend Unspoken Rules and If Men Are Like Buses, the two should cover you!!
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24 of 26 people found the following review helpful By Cheryl M. on January 26, 2004
Format: Paperback
I was so thankful to have found this book. I often visit Pastor Joel Brooks' church, and have heard him speak many times, I can say that he has poured out his wisdom into this book, for all to partake of. I couldn't help but find myself within the pages, and what I found I didn't like, but instead of feeling badly about it, I was convicted to make the necessary changes to be the WHOLE woman that God has planned for me to be. It's one thing to know that you need to change your ways, it's another to know what to do! Thank you for your guidance, it gives us who do not want to be alone forever, a place to start! I was especially convicted when I read the part about being "hard" vs. strong. I have always seen myself as a "strong Black woman", when in truth, I have become a "hard Black woman" WOW now that's an eye opener!
I highly reccommend this book for ANY woman who is contemplating marriage, or is looking for love, it will change the way you see yourself, and bring you in line with where God has purposed you to be. Thanks Pastor Brooks and Michelle McKinney Hammond for your insight.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful By L. Sutton on January 10, 2007
Format: Paperback
I loved this book. You don't have to be single to benefit from this book. It is helping in my current marriage and this book is helping me to guide my daughters in relationships. My oldest daughter (22) bought it. I wish I had read this before marriage and remarriage. I also highly recommend Michelle's other book Get Over It and On With It!
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7 of 8 people found the following review helpful By D. E. Brown on May 26, 2007
Format: Paperback
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book. I was impressed with the savvy, wisdom and wit of both writers. What an awesome combination of intellect, experience and just plain old truth. The short anecdotes offered quality reflection time and the honest assessment of the way women pursue men like food when one is hungry was ON POINT! I couldn't be happier with the sage advice, strong yet purposeful rebuke and sincere testimonies of both Joel and Michelle. I am quite a big fan of Michelle and I know that because of her writing I am a better suited female, willing to wait and work for Jesus both now and after my husband "finds me."
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful By Jeanette M. Blackson on December 1, 2009
Format: Paperback
I have to confess I was very surprised by the content and quality of this book. For a $6.99 book it was exceptional. It is however geared to a rather specific group though - single women waiting for husbands...which I have to say is a perfect match for me! You should see my copy of this book...it is marked up like crazy. It is definitely a book that I will keep as a reference for quite some time. In this book Michelle and Joel's goal is to help single women be smart about finding a mate. They came up with 14 rules to abide by in relationships with men to insure you marry the right man for you. The book starts off by advising you not to put your life on hold and start to look toward God and toward yourself to find value and discover if your heart and mind are in the right place. They then go into what to look for in a mate. They stress being picky and not settling for the first man that shows an interest in you. I have to admit this was an area I was worried about. I had gotten myself to the point that I was desperate to find a husband that I was afraid I might settle for the wrong man just so I could be married. I have to say I have a whole new (and much better) perspective on finding a mate. They finish with going through steps on how to evaluate serious suitors and how to compliment your man.

This was a great and quick read and I would recommend it to any single women who is at the point of considering marriage. It would also be a great book for a single ladies small group as there are questions at the end of each chapter that would make it an easy to discuss book and at $6.99 you can't beat the price!

This book was provided for review by Waterbrook Multnomah.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful By Mayra I. Pollock Cosme on May 25, 2007
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I loved the encouraging and practical advice, based on the Scriptures.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By Karen Sweet on October 15, 2013
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
Worth the read !!! I have recommended it to several ladies and they have picked it up also. All women young and old can learn from this book.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By Thegoodlifegirl on February 13, 2013
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
Excellent book. A must read! I purchased this book for a womens book club hosted by the church I attend. The book is co-authored by a woman and man, so it offers both perspectives ladies! The perspective and advice that Pastor Joel A. Brooks offers is priceless. In one of the chapters, he encourages women to see their true value and worth as they are dating, and explains how men respond to women based on how the woman esteems herself. He masterfully illustrates the concept of value and worth using a metaphor of boutique versus bargain shopping---you have to read it for yourself!. If possible, invite the authors to speak at the close of your book club. Our book club was able to have Pastor Joel Brooks as a guest to host a discussion and Q&A segment on the book. I plan to read the book again with my tween daughter.
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