Most Helpful Customer Reviews
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17 of 18 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
My husband gets it now., December 10, 2003
By A Customer
After 24 years and 11 months of marriage, I'd had enough. I'd tried everything to explain how I felt to my husband. He just didn't get it. In desperation I bought the book, mostly to see if I could learn anything about how to explain to him. I never expected him to actually read the book with me. After reading a couple of passages from the book to him, he agreed to read the book together. The passages from the book sounded so much like us. Next week instead of an appointment with a divorce lawyer, we have reservations at a elegant restaurant, for a romantic dinner on our 25th anniversary. I always knew if I could explain what romance, seduction, connecting, and quality time together meant he would do it. I just couldn't get him to understand. The last councilor we saw told me that if he didn't get it after 24 years, he'd never get it. HE GOT IT. Not only does he get it, I understand more about myself now. Everyone, both men and women should read this book.
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67 of 85 people found the following review helpful:
2.0 out of 5 stars
One guy's opinion ..., January 7, 2006
As I read this book, I got to thinking that it's too bad the author is married. Otherwise, I think I could marry her, because then I could say to her "Hey, you know all of the things you point out in this book that women do that drive men crazy? Yeah, well .. don't do any of those things!" And then I believe we could live happily ever after. In my honest opinion, I think this book should've been written for women to illustrate all the things that women *shouldn't* do. But instead, it is an instruction manual for us men explaining why women do the irritating things they do and why we should put up with them.
For example, let's say you're a guy on a business trip far away from home. When you get to your destination, you call your woman from the airport to let her know you're not dead. However, when you get to your hotel room, instead of calling to check in yet again, you decide to just crash because you're exhausted from the trip. So now your woman is sitting at home going nuts, wondering if you died on the way to the hotel, got abducted by aliens, or (worse yet) in your hotel room shagging another woman. So when you do call the next day to check in, you get an earful, with your woman telling you how thoughtless and selfish you are. The author points out that women don't do this because they're insecure and neurotic. Oh no, they do it because they love us!! So instead of advising women to relax and take a chill pill, men are instructed to appease the woman and *appreciate* this behavior.
And that's the basic tone of the book. The author points out all the stupid and annoying things that women do (and readily admits that these things are annoying) such as wanting their man to sit down with them and talk about absolutely nothing, and then points out how guys can alter their behavior to accomodate the type of behavior from women that we hate. And what is our reward for doing such things? More sex! That's right, if your woman is happy, you get more sex. As a guy, I have to wonder how much longer we're going to allow women to dangle sex in front of our face like it was some kind of Scooby snack in order to get us to do what they want.
Not that this book is a total waste .. the part about sex has some useful information, but
I'm sure there are better books out there devoted to this subject. Also, I would *not* recommend guys try and use these techniques in order to meet women. If you want to be a lapdog, it's probably best you wait until you get into a serious relationship, at which time the woman can tie the ball and chain around your ankle. If you do these things too early (like during the first 10 dates), you might (and probably will) come off as a supplicating fool.
Look, I'm not saying that one particular sex or the other should stop being who they are, I just think that it's a give & take kind of thing ... that each side should be willing to bend a little to satisfy the other's nature. But reading this book, I gather that many women think it is the man who is supposed to do all of the changing, and I consider that a little unfair.
PS - Just a bit of info for women. If you ever wonder why guys like to organize their thoughts before expressing them, listen up: There is a cardinal rule with men that if we say something to you and it can be interpreted in two different ways, and one of them is something that upsets you, we meant the other one. It has been my experience that women tend to take the worst meaning possible and store that in their memory bank like a cyborg, and then readily use that as ammunition in future arguments for years to come. For this reason, I like to get all my ducks in a row and make sure my logic is rock solid, lest I say something that doesn't quite come out quite the way I wanted it to, and then have that used against me for the rest of my life. "Hey, do you remember 20 years ago when you said I looked fat?" :)
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15 of 18 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Wow!, December 14, 2005
I wish I would have bought this book ten years ago. I've been married nine years and I've never quite understood how to treat my wife right. This book has empowered me to create a beautiful relationship her. Very important information that is essential for any man who wants a happy marriage. As soon as my son is old enough I will encourage him to read this.
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