15 of 18 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
women want status; men want beauty --, January 19, 2002
If you're a woman over 30, less than a perfect ten, and wondering whether you'll ever find a good man, look no further. This book will confirm that you're doomed to spinsterhood. All men are looking for that beautiful twenty-year old blonde with the perfect body. Seriously, the basic premise of the book is that men prize a woman's youth & physical attractiveness first and foremost (and almost to the exclusion of any other traits -- a woman's economic status, occupation, and to some extent, personality, are largely irrelevant to men). In choosing sexual partners and mates, men focus on physical attractiveness. Period. Women, on the other hand, look for economic and professional status and investment. A woman of any socioeconomic level wants to "marry up" and will often prefer to have a primary relationship with a higher status man who is married or involved with multiple women than to have a primary monogomous relationship with a lower status man. Men want to minimize their investment; women want to maximize a man's investment. Townsend explains why musicians and athletes have often had hundreds of sex partners, and typically have ten to twenty women whom they can call at any given time for commitment free, investment-free sex. Townsend creates serious doubt that men in high status positions will be faithful in relationships.
It seems that the vast majority of the individuals interviewed & quoted are twenty-something medical students, becoming aware of their status for the first time. They will have nothing to do with the "unattractive, overweight" women in their med school class, particularly when the universe of "chirpies" (nurses, therapists, etc.) are available & interested. The other group of men interviewed are, on the whole, high status men, many of whom engage in polygyny (multiple relationships during the same time frame with a variety of women).
This book was interesting, and filled with quotations from the interviewees, although it went on & on & on --reinforcing the conclusion that draws in the first few chapters, quoting one med student who sounds very similar to the next med student. Men want youth & beauty. Women want investment & status.
My guess is that some readers would bristle at the generalizations in this book -- though they undoubtedly ring true. The text doesn't contain a significant amount of commentary & editorialization; it just presents the interview results in a readable fashion.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Love is the result, not the cause, November 21, 2009
John Marshall Townsend's seminal book answers Freud's famous question "What do women want?" In ten chapters Mr. Townsend addresses various topics pertaining to male-female relationships: sexual differences between the two genders; what is sex what is love; what is sexually attractive to women in men; when choosing partners for marriage what men and women look for; men's criteria for choosing partners; whether there is a shortage of available men for dating; as women age and achieve professional success why their chances of dating decline; what both genders seek in marriage; whether women can have sex like men without emotional commitment; who does majority of household chores; whether women like dominant men; why male medical students don't date female medical students; whether men and women are alike in other parts of the world and, lastly, how to cope with evolutionary differences between the two genders. While responding to the above questions, Mr. Townsend convincingly debunks the notion that men and women contribute equally to the relationship and demonstrates there is always an overlap in terms of contribution and how it benefits the relationship. His analysis underscores the difficulty with egalitarianism and how fanciful expectations often undermine relationships. To wit, if something is rational doesn't mean it's preferable. The book counsels the readers to be committed to their relationship; to do things together; accept gender differences in task preferences; ignore the idea grass is greener on the other side; have lower expectations; know each partner must sacrifice some aspects of their personality for the success of relationship; remember in marriage some conflict and disappointment is inevitable and to restrict the desires to stray by avoiding to vent them. An engrossing book with potential to help a lot of people!
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2 of 3 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Good study of sex differences in attractiveness., September 21, 1998
Townsend first describes gender differences in attractiveness, that men seek physical beauty in a sex partner while women seek a man with high status. Then he gives a cogent argument that these tendencies are built into our species. While not the last work on this subject, here is an intelligent and provocative presentation of facts and theory.
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