Customer Reviews

What You Can Change and What You Can't: The Complete Guide to Successful Self-Improvement

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This is a book that everyone should own. In this book, Dr. Seligman wades through the swamp of self-help, psycho-babble,new-age gurus, common-sense ideas that "everyone" knows , medical thought, etc, etc in order to discover- WHAT REALLY WORKS. Not what we wish would work, not what seems like it should work, not what common wisdom believes works but what in clinical trials of real people has been demonstrated to work. What percentage has been helped, what are the side-effects and has this help been long-term or transitory. It is extremely readable, instructive and down to earth. He addresses the current state of treatment for: Anxiety, panic attacks, phobias, obsessions, depression, anger, post-traumatic stress, sex, dieting, alcohol. For most of these topics I learned more in his one chapter than in the several books which I have read on them. If you are on a diet, about to begin a diet, or considering professional help in one of the areas above - please read the chapter in this book first. You will save yourself an incredible amount of time, money and heartbreak in the long run. It will also give you the best chance of actually solving the problem since you will be directed towards the most effective treatment right from the beginning of treatment rather than (hopefully) eventually finding it by trial and error. I only hope that Dr Seligman writes an updated version of this book sometime in the near future in order to keep up with new research findings.

With all the authority of a long and distinguished reseach career in psychology, Martin Seligman sets out to present something like a consumer guide to self-improvement and psychotherapy. (This is not a recipe book for dealing with your problems.)

The results are sobering: from the range of most frequent psychological afflictions, only a few will reliably be relieved by treatment. You can - with appropriate help from a responsible mental health professional - do something about

- panic attacks

- specific phobias (snakes, spiders, flying, etc.)

- sexual dysfunctions.

With other problems, such as depression and addiction, "moderate relief" is the best psychiatrists have to offer, often (when psychoactive medication is used) at a considerable price.

Beyond that,

- enjoy your sexual orientation,

- enjoy your weight (dieting will improve it upwards, in the long run),

- stop blaming unsatisfactory results of your adult life on your childhood and your parents - it won't do you any good, and there is much less of a causal relationship anyway.

All this is presented clearly, with "whys" and "hows", and with ample references. If you consider undergoing psychotherapy, or if you're stuck with a self-improvement attempt, this book may save you lots of money and trouble. (Being more or less left to your own devices may be a letdown, but it may also give you a realistic chance to cope with your situation.)

If you're professionally working in the mental health field, you will find much food for thought as well, especially in Seligman's candid statements about the many relevant questions that have not yet been scientifically settled or which even have not been researched at all. And unless you're a practicioner of that method, you may be slightly amused with the author's treatment of psychoanalysis - with disorder after disorder, it doesn't have much of an effect... Given the way our culture is soaked with psychoanalytic beliefs and assumptions, this is something that can't be said often enough

As a navel-gazing self-help junkie, I was surprised and a little annoyed when I discovered this book -- after all, I thought to myself, who can tell me what I can or cannot do? Never mind that I was overwhelmed with boatloads of conflicting information -- I didn't think ANYONE had the answers, and that it was necessary to try everything once. Well, thank God for Dr. Seligman. The book is a brilliantly simple yet deep exploration of the research available on treatments for various conditions -- and it turns out that there ARE answers available regarding what works and what doesn't. (And what you shouldn't even bother trying.) This book is a valuable resource for anyone trying to make sense of the self-help and treatment industries.

First off, this book is very good.
Martin Seligman, ever the excellent research psychologist provides an overview over the big mental diseases and disorders. From everyday anxiety to panic attacks, phobias, obsessive-compulsive disorders to depression, post-traumatic stress disorder to sexual disorders, overweight and alcoholism Seligman has reviewed the literature and provides concise advice on what works for each condition and what does not. In between he mentions VERY interesting research results and historic developments in the treatment of psychological ills. These newest findings have changed his opinions as well. While in his 1993 Bestseller "Learned Optimism" he still supported the more behaviorist approaches of f.e. pessimism - the primary risk factor for later-life depression - being conditioned through "bad role modeling" by parent's dealing with adverse events (which could be UNLEARNED), he now, due to identical-twin studies, attributes virtually all mental disorders to heritability.
In a fascinating account on pages 39ff. ("Your genes and your personality") a picture of the human being as an essentially inflexible biological machine emerges, whose innate mental tendencies towards for instance anger, anxiety or depression can be at most mitigated by therapy and medication, but never cured.
Albeit I - as I'm sure he'd want to - stress that heritability in all twin-studies accounted for at most 50% probability that the personality trait of a parent would be present in the child. Incredible for example is the genetic link for criminal behavior in children and biological parents vs. adoptive parents.

But I have two points of criticism:
What I find very likeable about Seligman is that, as he pointed out in "Learned optimism" as well as this book, he is really a innate pessimist.
As such, I think he, like another reviewer here, paints a too bleak of a picture of the treament efficacies.
For starters I seriously question his claim that depression treatment works only in 2/3 of patients. I'd really guess it's more like ¾.
Second of all, he thinks it's a real disappointment, that drugs and therapy don't cure.

Why did anybody ever think you could DISCONTINUE mental treatments after time.
Why do people pray for divine help 5 times every day and incessantly go to church on Sundays.
Obviously mental issues are deeply engrained into the brain physiology. These disorders are not outside invaders that could be cast out by drugs or therapy. They are construction flaws in one's mind that must be steadily contained through long-term treatment as long as there is no such thing as "psycho-surgery".

Also i got the impression except for alcoholism and overweight he unduly plays down the improvements on many of the treatments. Be it OCD, depression, everyday anxiety or especially PTSD, whose improvements he describes as "marginal" these "marginal" improvements can mean the difference between suicide and a bearable, even content existence in many people. But of course he is right to point out, that whatever of these conditions you have, they're never gonna go completely away, and relapses are common. "But you can still manage", I would add to that.

Bottom line is, if you got any of the above disorders this is a good book. If you want more of as the title suggests a "successful guide to self-improvement" go with "Three-minute therapy" by Michael Edelstein. He covers also less pathological issues like money problems, dealing with overeating and smoking, depression, anger, panic, (social) anxieties, chronic worrying and even procrastination. Very good self-help book.
Seligman's is more like a reference book.

It pays to focus your attention and effort on what changes will give you the biggest gain for the smallest effort. Martin Seligman tells you exactly that in this book. Seligman is the reining president of the American Psychological Association, a thorough researcher, and a damn good writer. He not only tells you what is easier and harder to change, based on the research, but gives you short, to-the-point suggestions (also based on the research) on HOW you can change those things. I'm the author of the book, Self-Help Stuff That Works, and I'm an expert on the subject, and I can tell you Seligman has written a very practical book. It is definitely worth reading and re-reading.

I have read this book a couple of times now. I have always been interested in this kind of subject matter and this book is one of the most informative and surprising I have come across. As far as self-help books go, I found this book inspirational which is something I wasn't expecting. I found it to also be the most realistic book about what may really help you and what probably won't. It covers psychological conditions such as phobias, depression, compulsive disorders, post traumatic stress disorder and overeating.

For me personally, the most interesting part of this book was the exploration of the inner child and how it has little relevance to your life in most cases (when you control for the genes your parents gave you). People tend to take unfavorable childhood experiences and grossly overestimate the influence these experiences have on their adult lives. The author outlines childhood experiences that may impact your life in adulthood such as loss of a mother at a young age or a childhood where you were physically brutalized. If you're lucky enough to have avoided these types of childhood experiences, your childhood doesn't influence you as much as you think. It's not our childhood that influences us now rather our own decision making or lack thereof. I have heard my own friends go on and on about their childhoods and I have listened to them link unfavorable experiences to their present lives and while I sat there listening politely and attentively, I have to admit that I am also thinking in the back of my head: what does this have to do with anything in your life now? Now I realize that I bumped into this notion via complete dumb luck for I am certainly not a scholar on this subject but I was blown away when I actually read the author's synopsis on childhood and its relative lack of influence on your adult life now. It's quite a revelation to read it in writing.

It's a good book and one that I have enjoyed reading more than once!

Seligman is one of the most distinguished psychologists in America, and this attempt to have a rigorous look at the suggestions of the pioneers of self-help is very welcome.

Many people are not aware of the size and the quality of a lot of the research into personal change and personal development, and this book summarizes a fair bit of it.

Nobody is going to agree with everything written by ANY author, and he is overly pessimistic about the chances for helping people with weight problems and addictions. But with that caveat this book is highly recommended to anyone who wants to improve themselves and the world around them.

This book reads like an encyclopedia, with solid information regarding numerous topics such as anxiety, phobias, obsession, as well as sex, dieting and alcohol. A better starting point for many people might be his books, "Learned Optimism" and "Authentic Happiness". Learned Optimism summarizes many experiments and studies, and provides the sound theoretical basis for Positive Psychology. This provides the credibility you may wish before you proceed further. Authentic Happiness builds on that theory.

I work with "at risk youth", kids in the foster care system, socially disadvantaged and many who have suffered abuse. I have often wondered how to help kids who suffer from depression, anxiety, Post Traumatic Stress, etc. This book is very helpful because it describes the world view that will give kids resiliency skills, and help them overcome the emotional difficulties they have. It also describes what can't be changed, and how to deal with those aspects of emotional disturbance, clinically. This book offers validity to what I have observed professionally. Mostly, it offers a practical means of knowing how to address the problems I encounter with the kids I work with, and how to teach the kids how to help themselves. Seligman offers a perspective that is based on science and Biological Psychiatry. It's about time psychology moved in this direction.

I don't even remember how I came by this book, I've had it so long. As a former self-help junkie, I can say this book did more to get my head out of my you-know-where than all the others put together. Seligman shows that human beings have a wide range of "normal" in terms of our emotions. He shows how to acknowledge who we are and why we feel the way we do, and then learn how that emotional range helps us. So reasonable, and incredibly reassuring and helpful. This guy is no flash-in-the pan busy preening for the Oprah show. He is a realist. I wish I'd had this book when I was 21. Life would have been so much easier.