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Condition: Used: Very Good
Comment: 3 pages midbook have small tears on edge (p114-118), otherwise very good copy. Some wear on edges & covers, clean unmarked pages, no noticeable writing or highlighting. Spine uncreased.
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What You Feel, You Can Heal: A Guide for Enriching Relationships Paperback – December 16, 1993

4.3 out of 5 stars 43 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews

About the Author

John Gray's book "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus" is the bestselling relationship book of all time. A Certified Family Therapist, Gray is also the author of eleven other bestselling self-help books including "Mars and Venus Starting Over "and "Children Are from Heaven," Dr. Gray lives in Northern California.
Bryan Turner, M.D. is a preventative healthcare cardiologist who has done and continues to do research on John Gray's nutritional supplementation program applying gender differences in brain science on diet and exercise.


John Gray's book "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus" is the bestselling relationship book of all time. A Certified Family Therapist, Gray is also the author of eleven other bestselling self-help books including "Mars and Venus Starting Over "and "Children Are from Heaven," Dr. Gray lives in Northern California.
Bryan Turner, M.D. is a preventative healthcare cardiologist who has done and continues to do research on John Gray's nutritional supplementation program applying gender differences in brain science on diet and exercise.


Harold H. Bloomfield, M.D. is a Yale-trained psychiatrist and a respected leader in alternative medicine and integrative psychiatry. He is the best-selling author of Making Peace with your Parents, Making Peace withn Yourself, Hypericum (St. John's Wort) & Depression, How to Heal Depression, How to Survive the Loss of a Love, and TM Transcendental Meditation. His books have sold more than seven million copies and have been translated into twenty-six languages. His work has been featured in every major media outlet, including 20/20, Oprah, Larry King, Good Morning America and in Time, Newsweek, the New York Times, Forbes and People. He lives in Del Mar, California.
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 213 pages
  • Publisher: Heart Publishing; 2nd edition (December 16, 1993)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0931269016
  • ISBN-13: 978-0931269011
  • Product Dimensions: 0.8 x 7.2 x 10.2 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.6 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (43 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #260,200 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Paperback
This book shows real insight into human emotion and interpersonal dynamics, presented in a very gentle, simple way. Why he gave up and became the gender stereotyper from hell, I don't know. I guess because it sold better. Too bad, because this is the better approach. He discusses the dynamics of emotional connection without resorting to "men do this, women do that" by showing that when one partner, regardless of gender, behaves a certain way, the other will respond accordingly.
The tone of this book, again, is simple, almost childish, but gets the points across. "The Two Step", is the grown-up version.
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By A Customer on August 9, 2003
Format: Paperback
This book is very helpful in understanding yourself and your partner. It is a very easy read and could be mistaken as too "simple" - but the beauty of this book is that it has taken some of the most complex feelings and reduced it to bite size ideas and adorable cartoons. I am a highly educated person and thought the cartoons were brilliant (BS, MS, JD) - some reviewers did not like them? Read this book more than once and learn a lot about relationships. I am really hoping to (educationally smart - relationship dummy).
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Format: Paperback
"The major cause of human dissatisfaction and frustration is the absence of love." ~ pg. 2

"What You Feel You Can Heal" is an uncomplicated guide to emotions we all experience. John Gray encourages the reader to express their negative emotions in order to create an environment in which love can flourish and grow. The main premise is that repressed emotions block the flow of love.

Each page is illustrated with an amusing cartoon, which makes this book a quick read. In a matter of hours you can learn a few useful techniques that allow you to feel more positive about life.

John Gray encourages the idea of writing love letters although I still think the section of the letter with all the negative issues (I hate...) might be a bad idea. There is also a strange section on "duplication" where you repeat what someone says in order to become more empathetic. I found the following to be very true:

"The people who make you the most angry are the people you care about the most." ~ pg. 2

~The Rebecca Review
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This is a fun pop-psych book with some valuable insights, techniques for releasing negative feelings in relationships, & 100 author-drawn illustrative cartoons. It's a very fast read. His basic premise is that TACT p. 112: "Telling the Absolute Complete Truth" will free you from negative emotions. If you repress them instead, you experience p. 120: "The See Saw Effect--When we push down a feeling, it comes up in our partner." This is an interesting take on projection & repression. The 3 methods to deal with these emotions are:

--Duplication: commonly known as mirroring-repeating what your partner says, ~active listening & role playing

--Anger Process--talking to yourself as if you were another person--calling yourself "you" in a mirror & expressing: 1. anger/blame--, 2. what you want, 3. positive/loving/supportive statements.

--Love Letter Technique--writing letters containing: 1. anger/blame, 2. hurt/sadness, 3. fear/insecurity, 4. guilt/responsibility, 5. love/forgiveness/understanding/desire & reading them to each other.

I think these are valuable in clearing out negative emotions in relationships, but there are assumptions affecting their applicability. Gray assumes love & goodness are underneath surface problems--clearing out anger etc. will reveal this. He is not addressing M. Scott Peck's "People of the Lie." Indeed, I think he's addressing people neither too undeveloped or too advanced. For example, Tibetan Buddhism has techniques to advantageously transforming emotions & Freud addressed sublimation. See Thubten Chodron's "Working with Anger" or Pema Chodron's works (e.g. "No Time to Lose"). Gray aims at couples/pairs not separate individuals.
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Format: Paperback
This is a fun pop-psych book with some valuable insights, techniques for releasing negative feelings in relationships, & 100 author-drawn illustrative cartoons. It's a very fast read. His basic premise is that TACT ="Telling the Absolute Complete Truth" will free you from negative emotions. If you repress them instead, you experience "The See Saw Effect--When we push down a feeling, it comes up in our partner." This is an interesting take on projection & repression. The 3 methods to deal with these emotions are:

--Duplication: commonly known as mirroring-repeating what your partner says, ~active listening & role playing

--Anger Process--talking to yourself as if you were another person--calling yourself "you" in a mirror & expressing: 1. anger/blame--, 2. what you want, 3. positive/loving/supportive statements.

--Love Letter Technique--writing letters containing: 1. anger/blame, 2. hurt/sadness, 3. fear/insecurity, 4. guilt/responsibility, 5. love/forgiveness/understanding/desire & reading them to each other.

I think these are valuable in clearing out negative emotions in relationships, but there are assumptions affecting their applicability. Gray assumes love & goodness are underneath surface problems--clearing out anger etc. will reveal this. He is not addressing M. Scott Peck's "People of the Lie." Indeed, I think he's addressing people neither too undeveloped or too advanced. For example, Tibetan Buddhism has techniques to advantageously transforming emotions & Freud addressed sublimation. See Thubten Chodron's "Working with Anger" or Pema Chodron's works (e.g. "No Time to Lose"). Gray aims at couples/pairs not separate individuals.
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