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What Do You Say after You Say Hello? Mass Market Paperback – October 1, 1984


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Product Details

  • Mass Market Paperback
  • Publisher: Bantam (October 1, 1984)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0553258222
  • ISBN-13: 978-0553258226
  • Product Dimensions: 6.8 x 4.2 x 1.2 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (13 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,621,660 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

4.8 out of 5 stars
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Lots of psychology, fascinating, and downright fun.
Joe Hart
The good gets lost with the bad and T.A. now tends to be labelled as an outmoded California fashion related to Freudianism.
Baraniecki Mark Stuart
This is the best book that I have ever read on the subject of pschotherapy.
rpaditham@hotmail.com

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

25 of 26 people found the following review helpful By rpaditham@hotmail.com on May 18, 1999
Format: Mass Market Paperback
This is the best book that I have ever read on the subject of pschotherapy.It shows how `parental influence' becomes your conscience and determines your destiny and ultimately what is written on the epitaph of your tomb.The illusion that a human being is a free, autonomous creature is shattered. One need not find this distressing as there is hope.To find out more read it, go through it again, unwind the tape on which the holes have been punched to make your program (Life script) and possibly try to reprogram yourself! Not a easy task, mind you.
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17 of 19 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on August 7, 1998
Format: Mass Market Paperback
"What do you say after you say hello" is a brilliant book by Dr. Berne, concentrating on transactional analysis and the way people relate to each other, specifically the unhealthy patterns they fall into when dealing with a spouse, mate or relative. I would highly recommend it to anyone interested in analytical psychology, or human relationships in general.
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22 of 26 people found the following review helpful By nnutter on March 20, 2003
Format: Mass Market Paperback
This masterpiece, from the writer of "Games People Play" as well as several other books dealing with the subject of interpersonal relationships, is excellent in its presentation and scope. The late author, Dr. Eric Berne, guides the reader through a clear understanding of how we inter-relate with others, as well as ourselves. His depth of understanding of the "human condition", presented with eloquent wit and charm, make this a volume that is difficult to put down. Dr. Berne's approach and skills at explanation make this a must read for anyone interested in this area of psychology. While the book could very well be used as a college text, the language is straight-forward and clear for professional or layman, alike.
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8 of 9 people found the following review helpful By Brian on May 7, 2009
Format: Mass Market Paperback
Ever since my teenage years, I found psychology to be one of the most interesting areas of study.
Yet, even after hundreds of books on subject, I felt that something was missing, as if everyone managed to miss the essence of human behavior. Then comes Berne, whom I discovered with a help of a TA professional, and that was the missing link. Finally I came across knowledge that was so simple, yet so involving that it gave me that true satisfaction of knowing that I have hit the jackpot in terms of understanding human behaviour. It was Erice Berne's "What do you say after you say hello" and "Games People Play". (Why not just name the book "What do you say after hello?").
It has been 10 years and I still love to read Berne. This book was borrowed by my friends so many times that I don't even know where it is any more. If I don't get it back soon, I'll have to buy a new copy.
Games theory is so simple, yet so hard to implement properly. I see people who are into TA still finding ways to undermine themselves while thinking that they got a hang of it. So, read it carefully, try to discover it's essence, try to build a healthy set of values to use as checkpoints in your progress and be observant all the time. And by all means, do buy the book. There are other books out there as well, and if needed, find a professional who will help you understand and apply principles of TA in your daily life so that it really becomes your life, not someone else's script.
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7 of 8 people found the following review helpful By Baraniecki Mark Stuart on January 10, 2010
Format: Mass Market Paperback
Eric Berne was a psychoanalyst who became well known in the 1970s for his system of "transactional analysis", the transactions in question being mostly those between a young child and its parents. He proposed various structures for this relationship based on the roles parent/adult/child that every person plays and presents life stories as scripts that can be good or bad.

This was his last book completed just before his death in 1970. It nicely ties together his main discoveries and provides a fascinating selection of "scripts" tracing them from their source and presenting them in his very effective parent/adult/child format. The system can be presented diagramatically and one needs to use it to get the most out of the book. However, once over this hurdle the system is very useful and effective. This reviewer has experimented with it on a number of occasions and it really does explain and predict in the way that he claims.

Berne's bad luck was that he wrote the book in 1970 when psychology was going through a bad patch with a flood of bizarre systems appearing. The good gets lost with the bad and T.A. now tends to be labelled as an outmoded California fashion related to Freudianism.

It's good to see that Berne arrives at his system empirically with his basic framework being bolstered with all the evidence he can find. He examines accents, voices, vocabulary, types of laughter, names, in fact anything he can lay his hands on to provide effective cross checks to his main structural analysis .

In the preface he says that the book is "primarily intended as an advanced textbook of psychotherapy, and professionals of different backgrounds should have no difficulty in translating into their own dialects the short and simple annals of transactional analysis.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful By Joe Hart on March 5, 2009
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Derives from many sources (Jung, Freud to name two I know of), explains much (wish he had spent less time being witty and metaphorical and more nailing down hard theoretical facts (is that an oxymoron?)). Written when the nature/nurture question tilted to the nurture. The pendulum has swung back now so people are being drugged instead of cured. The idea today is that your personality and problems are the result of your genes. This has been completely disproved, so therapists and doctors and those in the know just ignore the proof. The proof is twin studies. Briefly, identical twins have identical genes. Ipso facto, if one becomes schizophrenic, the other will too (even though they are raised by different families). Well, they don't. That should settle it. Enough said. As Berne himself said, "I can't cure him my way, and I'm damned if I'm going to try anything else." Or "I'm a healer. This diploma on my wall proves it." This author also wrote Games People Play which I believe is still in print. The book these comments are about is not in print, but excerpts from it as of a couple years ago (edited by a colleague of Berne named I think Steiner) are.

Lots of psychology, fascinating, and downright fun.
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