Customer Reviews

What Your Boss Doesn't Tell You Until It's Too Late: How to Correct Behavior That Is Holding You Back

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Watching several people I admire repeatedly sabotage their careers by failing to recognize and fix the same recurring personality problems caused me to take a break from German-Jewish history and read this book. I have been an employer and an employee, both boss and bossed, and believe that we all can use a good (emphasize "good") self-help book now and then. This book enables the reader to pinpoint self-defeating behaviors and correct them, or at least control them.

In my experience, there are three categories of criticism. The first one is task-related, and your boss will almost always give it to you: "This presentation should be reorganized." "We need a better argument for ...." "Next time include slides on the overhead projector." The second category is personal, but easily fixable, and your boss will give it to you (perhaps with some trepidation): "A tube top is just not 'business casual.'" "You need to start being on time for the 7:00 am meetings." The third category is what your boss will not tell you until it's too late: "you turn people off," "you are too aggressive" or "you are too indecisive." The reason she won't is that these criticisms are of difficult-to-describe personality traits and the message is always uncomfortable to deliver.

Unfortunately, the problems that your boss will not discuss with you (until after you have lost that promotion or job) are the very problems that are the most serious and can have the biggest ramifications for your career. That's where this book comes in. It contains a step-by-step process for identifying your trouble spots and addressing them. If you're not brave enough to actually engage people in discussions about your flaws (as the book suggests), it contains several chapters on common personality problems and suggested substitute behaviors. It also contains a chapter on repairing your image, if it comes to that.

The book takes a non-judgmental approach, pointing out that many personality characteristics may be hereditary. Yet, that makes it no less important to address them. (For example, if you knew that you had a gene which predisposed you to getting lung cancer, wouldn't you be even more careful not to smoke?) I learned a great deal from this book. Since none of us is perfect, I would highly recommend the book to anyone who wants to catch and fix bad behaviors early on, before they can ruin your career.

This short (and relatively inexpensive) book will help you recognize where your behavior is getting in the way of your success at work.

Bramson emphasizes the importance of seeking and really listening to the feedback you get from others without being defensive, since it often points to areas where you need to change or grow. He notes that many managers are not comfortable giving feedback directly, so they hint around the issues and hope the people under them will be able to read between the lines.

He also points out some additional pitfalls, such as what doing feels right in a situation may not be the best course of action, and that choosing behavior that moves us ahead does not come naturally.

An encouraging point is that we don't need to get rid of our bad habits, but we do need to modify or manage them to keep them from managing us. Bramson's model for image repair is very helpful, and for me was worth the price of the book.

If you are tired of tripping over the same old behaviors at work, try Bramson's prescriptions.

I bought this book thinking it would help me understand what happened recently in my office: a situation in which I stopped talking to a coworker. It helped me understand that and much more. Bramson's previous book, COPING WITH DIFFICULT BOSSES, was loaned to me by someone at our ombuds office, and almost as soon as I started reading it, I started learning and marveling at Bramson's skill at analyzing difficult management situations.

WHAT YOUR BOSS is a must read for anyone involved in management, whether being a manager or responding to the policies and dictates of managers. It has given me a weapon to deal with my own faults and shortcomings and to see that they don't affect my office and my relationships with those I work with.

You've probably heard some or all of these tips before, but it's good to get a refresher on the areas that you need to improve.

Not a lot new in this book. It focuses most on correcting really dysfunctional behavior, not on subtle defects.

I found this book to be quite useful, it gives you a different perspective on your job, and how others may be viewing what you do. It helps you to think out of your box.