WHATEVER WORKS is a drama taking place in a middle-class residential neighborhood in New York City, complete with Jewish delicatessens and art galleries. This type of neighborhood is familiar to me, as I have toured the SoHo district in lower Manhattan many times. Because the story took place in lower Manhattan, the movie was continually fascinating to me. The film takes place in the present day, that is, circa 2009.
In brief, a runaway girl materializes on the doorstep of a retired physics professor. The professor is a confirmed curmudgeon and, to some extent, a misanthrope. His manner of speech takes the form of amusing 1-liners, regarding the fruitlessness of human society. The professor takes the girl in, and she lives with him, and they have a sort of father/daughter relationship. Over the course of weeks, the girl adopts the same speech patterns as the professor, and she spews out the same amusing 1-liners about the futility of human society. The girl's father and mother, both devoted Christians, split up prior to the girl's running away from home. The problem was that the father was having an affair with another woman.
The girl is from the American South, and prefers Louisiana-style cooking, and has a southern accent. About half-way into the movie, the girl's mother materializes at the front door of the professor's house. Unexpectedly, the mother quickly adopts to the lifestyle of New York City, and her collection of casual family snapshots is "discovered" by an art critic, and the mother has an art exhibition in a gallery (not an exhibition in a mere coffeeshop). (The fact that the mother, a mere picture-taker, has an exhibit at an art gallery, is a slap in the face to any person who has really had a 1-person show in a recognized art gallery.) Also, the mother acquires two boyfriends. One of the boyfriends is a middle-aged man who is a philosophy professor, and the 3 of them sleep together. Thus, the storyline is utterly bizarre. It is not art. It is not entertainment. It is not creative. It is not interesting. It is just random garbage.
Towards the end of the movie, the girl's father materializes at the front door of the professor's house. He also, came is search of the runaway daughter. As the man's character develops, during the remaining thirty or so minutes of the film, he discovers that he is really gay, and he quickly develops a gay relationship with a man he finds in a tavern. But again, this makes the storyline too disjointed. The storyline goes "off-topic" too often in this movie.
On the plus side, the actress playing the girl is abundantly easy on the eye. But on the minus side, WHATEVER WORKS is fraught with improbabilities. First of all, it is not often that an astonishingly beautiful girl shows up on a man's doorsteps, as a runaway. Second, it is not often that a 20-year old girl marries a 70-year old man who is a retired professor (this is what happens in WHATEVER WORKS). Third, it is not often that a southern housewife is promoted as a photographer, on the basis of her "portfolio" of casual family snapshots, and has a photography exhibit at a lower Manhattan art gallery. Fourth, it is not often that a physics professor tries twice to commit suicide (this is what happens in WHATEVER WORKS). To summarize, this movie consists of a re-cycling of things that Woody Allen likes and finds dear (younger girlfriends, New York City art galleries, talking about excessively personal hang-ups in ordinary conversations). We have seen the same themes, again and again, since the 1970s in Woody Allen movies. The contrived marriage of the 70-year old man with the 20-year old girl, obviously mirrors Woody Allen's own marriage to his step-daughter (Soon-Yi) who is thirty years younger than himself.
WHATEVER WORKS could be the very best of all of the Woody Allen films that utilize the above collection of themes. But on the other hand, what prevents this movie from having much more value than a typical made-for-TV movie, is that fact that it consists of a studied melange of incoherent and incompatible things, squeezed and forced together, into a single storyline.
(Also, this movie is NOT a comedy. There is nothing here to make you laugh. The movie is merely amusing.)
Perhaps the only believable part of WHATEVER WORKS, is the professor's schmoozing with his friends, at a sidewalk coffeeshop. In fact, if the entire movie had taken place on the sidewalk table, at the coffeeshop, documented the conversations of three mature men, I might have given the film FIVE STARS. To emphasize this point, if this movie was more like, MY DINNER WITH ANDRE, then that would have been fine with me.
The star of this movie is Mr. Larry David. Mr. David is one of the most successful people in the history of Hollywood, having been one of the founders of the SEINFELD show, and having written 62 episodes of SEINFELD. But in my opinion, even if the cast consists of seven Academy Award winners, it cannot convert such a bizarre, improbable, contrived script into a watchable film. Basically that is my point -- the movie WHATEVER WORKS borders on being unwatchable.