Whatever You Do, Don't Run: True Tales of a Botswana Safari Guide [Paperback]

Peter Allison (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: October 1, 2007

Whatever You Do, Don't Run is a hilarious collection of true tales from top ­safari guide Peter Allison. In a place where the wrong behavior could get you eaten, Allison has survived face-to-face encounters with big cats, angry ­elephants, and the world's most unpredictable animals-herds of untamed tourists and foolhardy guides whose outrageous antics sometimes make them even more dangerous than a pride of hungry lions!Join Allison as he faces down charging lions-twice; searches for a drunk, half-naked tourist who happens to be a member of the British royal family; drives a Land Rover full of tourists into a lagoon full of hippos; and adopts the most ­vicious animal in Africa as his “pet.” Full of lively humor and a genuine love and respect for Botswana and its rich wildlife, Whatever You Do, Don't Run takes you to where the wild things are and introduces you to a place where every day is a new adventure!

--This text refers to the Audio CD edition.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

At age 19, Australian-born Allison headed to Africa for challenge and adventure, planning to stay no more than a year; having found work as a safari guide, he's still there some 13 years later. In this fun, fearless memoir, Allison shares his experiences taking "guests" through the African wilderness, trips that often don't go quite as planned-due especially to the unpredictability of the animals around them. Allison is a skilled, funny and vibrant storyteller, dishing arcane bits of wisdom like an expatriate Alligator Hunter: "I understand a little bit of monkey language, and 'kwe' is a sound I listened for. It was an alarm... full blown monkey conniptions were reserved for leopards." A hilarious chapter recounting a troubled thousand mile trek through the Kalahari Desert finds Allison trying to wave down a passing truck in the middle of the night: "I realized that the driver would have seen what looked like a very animated sage bush with pasty white hands growing from it... he'd probably go straight to a witch doctor... and ask if there was a curse on him." Along the way, Allison examines his fellow guides, the struggle with exhaustion, getting lost and the temptation to make frequently visiting animals into pets, as well as some poignant asides on love and death.
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Review

"Allison's infectious enthusiasm for both the African bush and his job showing its wonders to tourists is readily apparent." --Booklist

 

"His misadventures make Whatever You Do, Don't Run an absorbing read. . . . The material is rich, and Allison is a gifted storyteller. And the only thing stranger than African fiction is African truth." --National Geographic Adventure

 

"After reading this entrancing memoir, an African safari may move to No. 1 on your travel wish list. The only catch is you'll want the author as your guide." --Chicago Sun-Times

 

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 264 pages
• Publisher: Lyons Press; 1st edition (October 1, 2007)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0762745657
• ISBN-13: 978-0762745654
• Product Dimensions: 7.9 x 5.2 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (105 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #15,729 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #2 in Books > Travel > Africa > Botswana
  • #6 in Books > Professional & Technical > Professional Science > Biological Sciences > Animals > Wildlife
  • #53 in Books > Science & Math > Nature & Ecology > Fauna

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

32 of 37 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars If you feel like laughing, October 1, 2007

By 

Love to learn "Lisa" (New York) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Whatever You Do, Don't Run: True Tales of a Botswana Safari Guide (Paperback)

Mr. Allison's, WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T RUN is filled with hilariously funny sometimes irreverent stories about his experiences as a safari guide in Botswana. The title is what drew me to his book, only food runs! You can't put it down, it is laugh out loud funny and you don't want it to end. Please write more! I can't wait for your next installment.

24 of 27 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Good, quick read. Enjoyed it a lot., November 4, 2007

By 

Chris Baldwin (Cleveland, Ohio) - See all my reviews
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Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: Whatever You Do, Don't Run: True Tales of a Botswana Safari Guide (Paperback)

While I haven't been on safari, I'm guessing that this book should be required reading for anyone who is able to make the trip. Peter Allison's book was a nice, quick read filled with lots of great stories about his experiences. All in all, I would recommend this book highly. Several stories made me laugh out loud.

Enjoy.

23 of 27 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Bald-headed men beware! (Oh, just kidding.), January 14, 2008

By 

Debra Hamel (North Haven, CT) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Whatever You Do, Don't Run: True Tales of a Botswana Safari Guide (Paperback)

Beginning in the mid-1990s, Peter Allison worked as a safari guide, primarily in Botswana. In Whatever You Do, Don't Run, Allison tells stories about his life in the bush. There are animal stories aplenty--a herd of elephants clustering protectively around its calving matriarch, a giant Python intent on crushing the life out of the author, an infestation of mice so desperately hungry they took to chewing on bald men's heads. But guides have to deal with paying guests as well as wild animals, and Allison does not shy from criticizing the spoiled and stupid among his tour groups.

In the hands of a more witty writer (think J. Maarten Troost's The Sex Lives of Cannibals), the material at Allison's disposal might have resulted in an unputdownable read. Allison's book isn't, but his stories are cute and amusing, and the author himself is likable and agreeably self-deprecating. Most interestingly, Whatever You Do, Don't Run gives readers a glimpse of an unusual llfestyle that most of us will probably not have given much thought to before: what's it like, day-to-day, to lead tourists around herds of impala and crocodile-infested rivers? If the subject matter is of interest, or if you like to browse the lives of people with jobs far different from yours, Allison's book is worth a quick read.

-- Debra Hamel