Customer Reviews

What's Going on Down There?: Answers to Questions Boys Find Hard to Ask

5 star:		(32)
4 star:		(10)
3 star:		(9)
2 star:		(3)
1 star:		(7)

 

 

This book is geared for younger adolescent boys, and it is extremely thorough at educating them about the process of puberty for boys and, to a lesser extent, girls. It frankly discusses every issue of sexuality that I can think of off the top of my head--how it happens, with whom it happens (straight & gay), what it feels like, what can result from it (pregnancy and STDs in detail) and how to have it as safely as possible. It may be more realistic than some books in assuming that the majority of teenagers will be sexually active, and some readers might even feel as though it pushes that perspective. I was particularly struck by the phrasing in one section discussing the way peer pressure can push people into having sex too early. Paraphrasing, it said something to the effect that "Young teenagers may not feel ready." There seems to me a little subtle pressure there for older teenagers, as though they ought to be over that.

I bought the book to read to my 8-year-old, who like many boys these days is maturing more rapidly than his ancestors. He is a little younger than the target audience, but we've always been frank with him about his body and felt that the majority of this book would be well within his grasp. I must give the book great praise for the way it describes maturation. It covers topics that I doubt my husband and I would ever have thought about in terms of the growth and changes in the body and the mind. (Puberty is a fading memory for us at this point.) Any boy who has been exposed to this material should be well-prepared to deal with the surprises that nature throws at him. Further, it arms him with the information he needs about how to ask if he isn't--how to talk to parents, how to talk to doctors.

I must warn parents, though, that this is probably not a manual you should just hand to your son unless you feel you're already very open in discussing the trickier aspects of sex--not the how, but the why and when. There's a wealth of information here that could easily overwhelm a boy, and while the authors do try to include the emotional context I think the inevitable reduction of the act to its mechanics may not adequately prepare our sons for the less tangible results of entering into sexual relationships. Even if you do believe your boy is able to process this independently, however, you should probably read through it first. This book will probably not be pleasing to very conservative families, and some of the material may be challenging even for less conservative households.

I ordered several books of this type for my 11 year-old and read them all cover-to-cover. This is the best of the bunch in it's coverage of diverse topics and its practical, non-techinical tone. As a mom, I especially liked the section which throoughly explained the ramifications of an unwanted pregnancy. In contrast, the book "Asking About Sex and Growing Up" dealt with pregnancy via sections such as "Why would a girl let herself get pregnant?" (sometimes a girl secretly wants to get pregnant...) and "What happens when a girl gets pregnant?" (she may be upset for a long time afterward.) This isn't how I want my son to understand his role. "What's Going on Down There" gets my top grade.

I ordered this book along with a similar one for girls for my 10 year old daughter. Her book fit her age perfectly, but this one was too advanced for my son who was 9 at the time. It talks about things that (in my opinion) a 9 or 10 year old shouldn't know about yet. He hasn't been allowed to read it yet because knowing my son as I do, he would use the information in it as gossipy talk amongst his friends and it would be a joke to him. I wanted to introduce them to the changes that will soon be affecting their bodies, but for my son, it went way beyond explaining puberty...it went into sex, masturbation, homosexual relationships...these things are far too advanced for my son. The book would be excellent for a 12 to 14 year old as it has many funny cartoons and explainations that would make it easier to understand and less secretive and less likely to embarrass. It is a great book, but because of the fact that it said it was for ages 9 and up, I assumed that it wouldn't be quite so detailed and descriptive, and that it would deal more with bodily changes instead of relationships and sex and such as that.

Chapter 8, titled: Is This Normal? States, "it is not unusual for a boy to watch another boy masturbate or to masturbate with a group of boys. Nor is it unusual for two boys to masturbate each other." My 13 year old son was accused of sexual assault by an 11 year old boy (a friend) after the 11 year old suggested they masturbated together, they did so on three occasions. The charge came a year later, social services and the police visited our home. Our younger son was almost removed from our home. Our 14 year old was questioned by police, charged, fingerprinted and we had to hire a lawyer. This book states that boys masturbating together or each other is not unusual. Maybe so, but it is a crime, and your child could be charged with sexual assault. Especially when the other child, out of guilt, fear, or revenge perhaps, tells his parents that he wasn't a willing participate once he realizes his "young, boyish curiosity" was a crime. BEWARE!

My son really liked this book...he found it easy to understand and comprehensive, and it indeed answered the questions he was pondering but didn't know how to ask. It espouses no values...but acknowledges the different values and points of view. I liked this because it allowed my son to reevaluate the values he has learned and to discuss them with his dad and I. I found it frank and funny and with a good tone for my 11-yr-old.

We are at a time in society where 10 year old kids are making babies. My son was 10 when he read this book and I must say I couldn't have bought it at a more perfect time. This book explains the changes his body is going through and will go through in a few years. When I asked him if he understood what he was reading, he told me that he already knew or was feeling some of what the book outlined - He just didn't understand "WHY." He even translated to me in his own words what each chapter was about. I remember thinking to myself, not only is this book educational, it's also an easy and interesting read. I am a single mother and there is no way I could have ever answered his questions without this book. This book has made me and my son's life a little less complicated. Thank you Karen Gravelle, et al - Me and me son really needed this book.

I knew I needed to talk to my 13 year old about this subject, but I did not know enough to teach it!

I read through it 1st, and I was shocked at the detail. After it dawned on me that he has already learned most of this in school, I just let him have it. We talk about moral issues and moral duties together.

He wants to know what's going on as it happens, and this book gives him the answers to questions that he'd be embarassed to ask. He uses is as a reference whenever he has a new question. That's the beauty of it... he doesn't have to initiate a big, awkward heart to heart talk when he just wants to know if something is normal or not.

The day after I gave this to him, he gave me a big hug and kiss and said, "Thanks for giving me that book, Mom."

I bought this book 2 years ago for now almost 11 and 12 year old boys. I reviewed the book first and I found it to be age appropriate for my boys. At first they were not too interested in it or maybe were too embarrassed to say they were interested. So I just left it with the rest of their books. Over the past 2 years, I have seen this book move around throughout the house indicating they have been reading it. I think it is a good book for preteen boys. Since all kids are different, it should be up to each parent to first review and decide if the information containted in this book is the information you want your child to read. Some boys may not be ready for this subject yet. I would highly recommend this book to any parent with a boy at least 9 years of age who is asking questions. Although some subjects may be something the parents are not yet ready to discuss (sex, homosexuality) it is something our boys are aleady being exposed to socially at school, so why make it taboo at home. Both of my boys schools started sex-ed in 5th grade (end of the year before entering middle school) and I thought it would be better for me to expose it to them first.

I purchased this book for my friends son who is 13 years old and before giving it to her I read through it myself. All of the information is very important (12+ years old) and can help educate young boys to make decisions based on knowledge they obtained before there is a problem rather than after, like what I went through when I was growing up and I'm sure countless others have that did not have the benefit and knowledge in this book.

So many people in our world today say "kids don't need to know much about sex until they're adults", with the rise of STD's & un-planned teenage pregnancies it's obvious that kids will do many things behind their parents back including engaging in sex at an early age, so those who have prescribed to this rational really should re-think their position. When it comes to sex, an educated teenager will make a better choice than one who is purposely kept in the dark because of his parents "Fear". If you're a parent and you don't know how to talk to your son about puberty and sex or don't feel comfortable doing it but want to make sure he stays healthy and doesn't ruin his life by becoming a teenage father or worse because of ignorance, then by all means get this book. Read it and then give it to him with love. He'll never forget how much it helped him growing up, trust me.

P.S. I love Amazon and have been using this site for many years but this is the first time I've ever wrote a review. I figure this book is worth it and it's my way of giving back to the community for all of the reviews others have written over the years that have been so very helpful.

The first third of this book contained good information for my 11-year-old son. It explains what happens to a boy's body in a way he was able to understand. The remainder of the book also has good information, but the topics of intercourse and STDs were more than my son was ready for.