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What's He Really Thinking?: How to Be a Relational Genius with the Man in Your Life Paperback – June 1, 2009
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That said, I didn't have high hopes when I received a review copy of Paula Rinehart's What's He Really Thinking? How to be a Relational Genius with the Man in Your Life (Nelson). Rinehart, a former Navigators staffer and professional counselor, is not new to the genre. She's written several well-received earlier relationship-themed books.
What's He Really Thinking? is meant to be a sort of a field guide meant to help orient women to the physiological, sexual, emotional and spiritual world of men. Chapter titles will give you a good flavor for the topics she tackles: What Men Do, Why Men Hurt and How Men Change are crafted to bring understanding to what makes men tick. Rinehart uses the second half of the book to coach women on expectations, respect, conflict, perseverence and intimacy. Appendixes with prayer points and an extremely thorough, thoughtfully-designed discussion guide round out the 206-page paperback.
Rinehart shines when she can dig deep into the "why" behind a behavior. Here, she explains her understanding how God uses conflict to rewrite our deepest, inner stories:
"In any of us in whom the honor of his name rests because he has made us through Christ, there's a deep excavation happening. As unbelievable as it seems some days, his image is being shaped into the mud of our souls. That's where our fears are dug in deep...He comes after us in various ways, but he's always present in the form of someone we love. Someone we want to love us.Read more ›
Honestly, I opened this book with much cynicism. Once I began turning the pages, I realized I couldn't put it down. Not only did it help me understand my husband more, but it helped me understand myself more as a woman trying to wade through the waters of our relationship. I also found that it is very biblically grounded, pleading with you to keep God at the center of your relationships and not to rely on your husband to fill the gaps in yourself that only God can fill.
It covers so much from women really understanding how much they influence the men in their lives to conflict resolution to intimacy. Above all else, it continually reminds you that both men and women carry a part of God's character in themselves, and when in covenant relationship with one another, you have an amazing chance to show the same love, grace, and mercy Christ has shown us.
*Book Review Blogger for Thomas Nelson Publishers
This book was a delight to read. Not only did I grow in understanding the men in my life; I also gained insight regarding why I say, think, and feel as I do. These combined discoveries have already proved helpful in being a better wife and mother.
One of the great features of this book is the study guide that is included. It makes it an ideal tool for a small group study or marital counseling. Appendix B which offers a list of questions to keep in mind when "Understanding This Man" totally rocks!
Initially, when reading through a sample chapter on the Thomas Nelson Publishing site, I thought this book showed real promise. Rinehart's writing was not over complicated and it appeared to be the beginning of a wonderfully insightful guide into the male psyche. That being said, I was disappointed with this book. It was only 160 pages, but less than halfway through I found I was looking forward to the end.
The title of this book is promising, but somewhat misleading. Rinehart has some great ideas about what women should be doing, but never actually gets down to HOW to do these things. I felt that the juxtaposition of her professional insight, scientific explanations, and religion did not work well. The flow of the book began to dissipate shortly after the first chapter and the organization of the book seemed jumbled, perhaps because the author kept throwing in scripture and lessons on relationships with God. Also, I thought the way she discussed sex and intimacy was a little tacky and very unorganized. This book reminded me a lot of something from Laura Schlessinger, but a very poor imitation.
What's He Really Thinking? is lacking, but not completely deficient. There were some excellent personal accounts and points that made me sit up a little straighter in my chair, jabbing me in the stomach, saying "You knew that all along and now there it is in black and white.Read more ›
Most Recent Customer Reviews
Everything she writes is super! Insightful, well-researched and written with precision. I always go away in awe at her writings.Published on May 14, 2013 by Nancy Behan
By listening to men talk about their lives, wives, families, issues, and concerns through her many years as a therapist, Paula Rinehart has come to understand men. Read morePublished on January 25, 2013 by Janet Reeves
Let's be honest, we've all wanted to take a step into our husbands heads for just a little while to see what he's really thinking, how he's truly feeling or why he does things the... Read morePublished on December 23, 2012 by Sharayah Arnold
I selected this book from the Thomas Nelson Book Blogger program because I'm a woman and anything that can give me insight into the male mind is always helpful. Read morePublished on October 1, 2012 by Keiki Hendrix
I've read quite a few relationship books in my time. Many of them say pretty much the same thing just written in a different way. Read morePublished on March 19, 2012 by stacy
This book took me awhile to get into and I'm really glad I did. As a single woman who interacts daily with men this book was quite helpful. Read morePublished on September 30, 2011 by Tami L. Frailey
I recieved the book "What's He Really Thinking; How to be a Relational Genius with the Man in Your Life" from Thomas Nelson Publishers free of charge through Booksneeze in exchange... Read morePublished on September 26, 2011 by A. Simpson
I approached this book with curiosity and trepidation. As a teacher of psychology, I was looking for the latest, valid research. Read morePublished on July 5, 2011 by Kay
What's He Really Thinking by Paula Rinehart
This book was written to provide women with insight into how men think, their struggles as men and why they do certain... Read more