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What's He Really Thinking?: How to Be a Relational Genius with the Man in Your Life Paperback – June 1, 2009

3.8 out of 5 stars 116 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Paula Rinehart is the author of Strong Women, Soft Hearts; Better Than My Dreams; and What's He Really Thinking? As a professional Christian counselor, she divides her time between counseling, writing and speaking to women's groups nationally and internationally. She and her husband have two grown children and live in Raleigh, North Carolina.
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 224 pages
  • Publisher: Thomas Nelson; Original edition (June 1, 2009)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0849918804
  • ISBN-13: 978-0849918803
  • Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.7 x 8.4 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 2.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 3.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (116 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #762,204 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Paula is a seasoned writer, speaker, and counselor who focuses on helping women live into all God has in mind for them. As a marriage and family counselor, Paula's great pleasure is helping women understand the deeper issues of their hearts in the light of God's love and truth. Her articles have appeared in for Discipleship Journal, Marriage Partnership, and Christianity Today. She's the author of Strong Women, Soft Hearts, Sex and the Soul of a Woman, What's He Really Thinking, and Better Than My Dreams.


Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Paperback
I have to put my own bias out here: I am not a fan of "relationship" books. After working in a bookstore off and on for 4 years, I concluded that this was a one-note genre. All the books seemed to have the same basic advice and tone, no matter what the title or who the author happened to be.

That said, I didn't have high hopes when I received a review copy of Paula Rinehart's What's He Really Thinking? How to be a Relational Genius with the Man in Your Life (Nelson). Rinehart, a former Navigators staffer and professional counselor, is not new to the genre. She's written several well-received earlier relationship-themed books.

What's He Really Thinking? is meant to be a sort of a field guide meant to help orient women to the physiological, sexual, emotional and spiritual world of men. Chapter titles will give you a good flavor for the topics she tackles: What Men Do, Why Men Hurt and How Men Change are crafted to bring understanding to what makes men tick. Rinehart uses the second half of the book to coach women on expectations, respect, conflict, perseverence and intimacy. Appendixes with prayer points and an extremely thorough, thoughtfully-designed discussion guide round out the 206-page paperback.

Rinehart shines when she can dig deep into the "why" behind a behavior. Here, she explains her understanding how God uses conflict to rewrite our deepest, inner stories:

"In any of us in whom the honor of his name rests because he has made us through Christ, there's a deep excavation happening. As unbelievable as it seems some days, his image is being shaped into the mud of our souls. That's where our fears are dug in deep...He comes after us in various ways, but he's always present in the form of someone we love. Someone we want to love us.
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Format: Paperback
What's He Really Thinking? by Paula Rinehart turned out to be a really good read. It's a book written for women to more deeply understand not only what men think, but how they come to think that way.

Honestly, I opened this book with much cynicism. Once I began turning the pages, I realized I couldn't put it down. Not only did it help me understand my husband more, but it helped me understand myself more as a woman trying to wade through the waters of our relationship. I also found that it is very biblically grounded, pleading with you to keep God at the center of your relationships and not to rely on your husband to fill the gaps in yourself that only God can fill.

It covers so much from women really understanding how much they influence the men in their lives to conflict resolution to intimacy. Above all else, it continually reminds you that both men and women carry a part of God's character in themselves, and when in covenant relationship with one another, you have an amazing chance to show the same love, grace, and mercy Christ has shown us.

*Book Review Blogger for Thomas Nelson Publishers
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Format: Paperback
Men and women have a different modus operandi. A shopping trip or discussion of a problem will quickly reveal this fact. Society often jokes about the contrast between the two sexes when in reality they can wreak havoc in relationships. In her book "What's He Really Thinking: How to be a Relational Genius with the Man in Your Life" author Paula Rinehart shares valuable information on the "unseen" physical, hormonal, and emotional differences between the two species. Her incredible insight provides women with tools to better understand and relate to all the males in their life.

This book was a delight to read. Not only did I grow in understanding the men in my life; I also gained insight regarding why I say, think, and feel as I do. These combined discoveries have already proved helpful in being a better wife and mother.

One of the great features of this book is the study guide that is included. It makes it an ideal tool for a small group study or marital counseling. Appendix B which offers a list of questions to keep in mind when "Understanding This Man" totally rocks!
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Format: Paperback
What's He Really Thinking? is a "field guide" into the minds of men. The book offers advice on understanding men by understanding yourself and the differences between men and women. The book delves into the relationships between men and women and the elements that contribute to healthy interaction and better communication.

Initially, when reading through a sample chapter on the Thomas Nelson Publishing site, I thought this book showed real promise. Rinehart's writing was not over complicated and it appeared to be the beginning of a wonderfully insightful guide into the male psyche. That being said, I was disappointed with this book. It was only 160 pages, but less than halfway through I found I was looking forward to the end.

The title of this book is promising, but somewhat misleading. Rinehart has some great ideas about what women should be doing, but never actually gets down to HOW to do these things. I felt that the juxtaposition of her professional insight, scientific explanations, and religion did not work well. The flow of the book began to dissipate shortly after the first chapter and the organization of the book seemed jumbled, perhaps because the author kept throwing in scripture and lessons on relationships with God. Also, I thought the way she discussed sex and intimacy was a little tacky and very unorganized. This book reminded me a lot of something from Laura Schlessinger, but a very poor imitation.

What's He Really Thinking? is lacking, but not completely deficient. There were some excellent personal accounts and points that made me sit up a little straighter in my chair, jabbing me in the stomach, saying "You knew that all along and now there it is in black and white.
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