50 of 54 people found the following review helpful:
3.0 out of 5 stars
I bought the wrong book, February 4, 2010
This review is from: What's Holding You Back?: 30 Days to Having the Courage and Confidence to Do What You Want, Meet Whom You Want, and Go Where You Want (Paperback)
I was looking for a book on self confidence in dealing with people at work. While there are some useful suggestions, some of which I have already tried successfully, the purpose of this book is too broad for my use.
Many of the business networking tips are old news, and honestly are so recognizable in my management and sales team that I see them as manipulative, learned, and rehearsed, instead of as authentic comfortable, anxiety free communication. I can reproduce them in my own life, and have, but I was hoping to acheive more lasting internal confidence.
Also, a lot of the tips are geared to producing more social activity and gaining more friends. I am not interested in this particular goal, but if you are, sucessful and inspiring examples abound, and I truly believe they will work for you.
There are two more cons in my opinion.
As Sam seems to be a very outgoing person, when she applies the golden rule, she seems to think her assertive friendliness and corny humor will be well recieved. I am sometimes turned off by people who act as she suggests, and for whom she gives examples. I wouldn't like me if I acted that way. She needs to leave wiggle room for different persoanlities and tastes.
Also there are a lot of false assumptions, both about the nature of people, namely introverts, and also about the outcomes of situations based on using her techniques. In one case she gives an example of a woman who didn't do the thing according to the book, and failed. The speculation that she might have suceeded if only she had done it the author's way, almost sounds like a passive threat....."do it my way or else." Ok ...its not that bad, but we have no way of knowing what would have happened. I prefer factual accounts to her speculation.
For myself, I used the book to prioritize my own social and business communication goals. There is one section on quiet confidence that I found truly inspiring and have made my immediate goal. I am grateful to have found that and will continue to nurture that quality within myself.
My conclusion that it is a good book if you are a shy person, who longs to be an extrovert. If you are impressed with Sam and the success stories she recounts, you can be the most popular person on the block in no time. It is also very thorough list of the psychological aspects of communication, which are an important part of any well rounded education.
Thanks for listening.
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33 of 36 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Highly Recommended! One of my all-time favorites!, August 18, 2006
This review is from: What's Holding You Back?: 30 Days to Having the Courage and Confidence to Do What You Want, Meet Whom You Want, and Go Where You Want (Paperback)
Sam Horn's intelligent books always stand in a class of their own, with relevant and realistic ideas that can be implemented immediately. This memorable and practical book is a gold mine of inspiration and ideas, and frankly... is a ton of fun to read!
As a professional career coach, I have read hundreds of books in this genre - "What's Holding You Back?" is one of my all-time favorites! For two years, I have been giving this book to my clients as a gift, and have consistently received rave reviews and heartfelt appreciation in response. I truly believe it's an invaluable resource for helping individuals increase their confidence and clarity. I just recently pulled it off my shelf and re-read it for myself, and was once again reminded of its powerful impact.
Chapter 4, "Conversing with Comfort" is simply brilliant! The tips provided on these pages will have even the most introverted individual communicating and "networking" with ease. If you're already an avid `networker' or sales guru - this book will feel like a dear friend, reconnecting you to what you may know, yet often forget. It will no doubt inspire you to "try on" some new ways of connecting to others in a more meaningful way.
I offer my sincere kudos to Horn for this magnificent work, and offer a sincere "must read!" recommendation to potential buyers.
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17 of 19 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Incredibly practical and just the boost I needed, July 29, 2005
This review is from: What's Holding You Back?: 30 Days to Having the Courage and Confidence to Do What You Want, Meet Whom You Want, and Go Where You Want (Paperback)
This book validated much of what I know and teach others, but sometimes forget to do. It was exactly the boost I needed to get out of a rut and move on to succeed in more areas of my life. Sam has a way of conversing with you when she writes that absolutely draws the reader in as if she were talking right there with you. I found "What's Holding You Back?" to be the key I needed to unlock what was holidng me back. If you struggle with internal dialogue, comparisons, and a tendency to allow fear to keep you from enjoying life, pick up this book immediately! You will be glad you did!
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