Most helpful critical review
99 of 103 people found the following review helpful
I bought the wrong book
on February 4, 2010
I was looking for a book on self confidence in dealing with people at work. While there are some useful suggestions, some of which I have already tried successfully, the purpose of this book is too broad for my use.
Many of the business networking tips are old news, and honestly are so recognizable in my management and sales team that I see them as manipulative, learned, and rehearsed, instead of as authentic comfortable, anxiety free communication. I can reproduce them in my own life, and have, but I was hoping to acheive more lasting internal confidence.
Also, a lot of the tips are geared to producing more social activity and gaining more friends. I am not interested in this particular goal, but if you are, sucessful and inspiring examples abound, and I truly believe they will work for you.
There are two more cons in my opinion.
As Sam seems to be a very outgoing person, when she applies the golden rule, she seems to think her assertive friendliness and corny humor will be well recieved. I am sometimes turned off by people who act as she suggests, and for whom she gives examples. I wouldn't like me if I acted that way. She needs to leave wiggle room for different persoanlities and tastes.
Also there are a lot of false assumptions, both about the nature of people, namely introverts, and also about the outcomes of situations based on using her techniques. In one case she gives an example of a woman who didn't do the thing according to the book, and failed. The speculation that she might have suceeded if only she had done it the author's way, almost sounds like a passive threat....."do it my way or else." Ok ...its not that bad, but we have no way of knowing what would have happened. I prefer factual accounts to her speculation.
For myself, I used the book to prioritize my own social and business communication goals. There is one section on quiet confidence that I found truly inspiring and have made my immediate goal. I am grateful to have found that and will continue to nurture that quality within myself.
My conclusion that it is a good book if you are a shy person, who longs to be an extrovert. If you are impressed with Sam and the success stories she recounts, you can be the most popular person on the block in no time. It is also very thorough list of the psychological aspects of communication, which are an important part of any well rounded education.
Thanks for listening.