Customer Reviews

What's Next: Women Redefining Their Dreams in the Prime of Life

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So many woman grow from childhood to adulthood without ever really discovering who they are as an individual. As children we are raised according to the expectations of our parents. In school, we try to meet the expectations of our teachers. As adults, we try to live up to the expectations of our employers. In our personal relationships, we want to please our spouse or partner. One of the saddest changes that transpires, often without even realizing it is happening, is that we become an extension of someone else's image of who we should be; we often lose our own personal identy. Is it any wonder we can become confused about who we really are and what are real purpose is in life? It is highly unlikely we were put here simply to live up to the expectations of others. If so, then life would be rather self-defeating.

This is a great book that suggests how you can discover your true self, fulfill your dreams and reach your full potential. With determination and commitment, you can reach for the stars and be the person you were always meant to be - regardless of your age; age is nothing more than a number. There is so much encouragement and inspiration contained among these pages, that you will feel motivated to take that gigantic leap for the unknown. There is nothing wrong in putting other's needs before your own; it can be an admirable quality. However, when you continually sacrifice your own identy to please others, you limit your potential by not allowing yourself to grow as the unique and special person you really are - your true self. This is certainly a book worth reading.

Pederson had been thinking about writing a book for quite some time. As she explains in the Introduction, she read and later met the author of "a lovely little book", Halftime. During her conversation with Bob Buford, she observed that she had a difficult time identifying with the transformation process he examines in his book because "all the examples were rich guys. Most women aren't millionaires." She suggested that he write a sequel from a woman's perspective. "Why don't you write it?" To her surprise, she agreed. "And a journey of discovery began." In brief, that is the genesis of this book. Pederson made a commitment and thus an inevitably an arduous process began. Based on what she shares in this book, I am certain that her "journey of discovery" continues and I hope she will write several more books.

The material consists of 15 chapters which summarize Pederson's interaction with a number of women who have redefined their dreams in the prime of life. They include some familiar names (Mary Kay Ash, Julia Child, Elizabeth Dole, Linda Ellerbee, and Beverly Sills) but several other, less-familiar names of women no less remarkable. The book's final chapter, "Just Do It! They Did It!224 is especially effective both as an affirmation of key points and as a source of inspiration for men as well as for women, regardless of age and current circumstance. Pederson sought answers to questions such as these:

* How do you learn to listen to that little voice inside of you?

* How do you filter out voices of well-meaning people who say "don't"?

* How can you get away from the busy-ness and much-ness of life to find peace of mind?

* If you could add one accomplishment to your life, what would it be?

* How would you like to be remembered?

* How can you be sure of what you need to do?

Excellent questions. The women with whom Pederson interacted provide their own answers, of course, and along the way, Pederson and her reader formulate theirs. The titles of the book's individual chapters suggest (to me, at least) something of a consensus among respondents. For example, There Is Still Time, Take Care of Yourself, Get Good Advice, Build a Circle of Support, and Don't Be Afraid of Failure. (These titles remind of Lily Tomlin who once suggested that reality is a "collective hunch." She is not represented in this book, I hasten to add.) Lee Smith is also to be commended on the excellent self-help questions she devised for individual chapters. Pederson is a brilliant editor of material she accumulated. Her own distinctive voice blends so well with others' as she and they (as well as the reader) share the "journey of discovery" to which I referred earlier. I was also pleased that Pederson provides a "Recommended Reading" section and a "Bibliography" for those who may wish to extend that "journey" into other areas.

As I started this book, I was pleased to see that the author complained to Bob Buford that all of his examples were of rich men, and that she was setting out to show how women who were not millionaires could change their lives. To my dismay, most of the women whose stories are recited here are wealthy, well-established, powerful, and at the top of their professions. How does a working woman with two kids, a mortgage, and a $30,000.00 a year job make mid-life changes? She won't find out in this book.

I'm exactly the audience Pederson and Smith had in mind for this book: a woman in midlife who's reevaluating her current situation and her options for the future. Each chapter focuses on a single principle that can help in this search, e.g., "trust your intuition" or "get support"; then the authors give real-life examples of how that principle has worked in the lives of actual women, and conclude with questions that allow the reader to gain insight into how it applies to her own life. In general, I felt that the book was helpful to me, and offered good guidance to women (and, for that matter, men!) in just about any life circumstance. The examples were multicultural and spanned a wide range of income and education levels. And, although one chapter focuses on spouses, the authors didn't assume that every reader has one -- many of the women whose stories they told were single, divorced, or widowed. The book is well written, and the authors' enthusiasm and lively style make it a real "upper" to read. My only quibble is that the authors often seemed to equate "spiritual" with "mainstream religion," usually some form of Christianity. While I agree wholeheartedly about the importance of spirituality in guiding the way one lives, there are many other spiritual paths than joining a Bible study group or attending church regularly, and I wish the authors had made an effort to be more inclusive.

Unlike another reviewer, I believe that Rena Pederson, in her book 'What's Next', has reached women of all ages and income brackets. Any woman (or man) who wishes to discover who she is and what her journey is to be would benefit from this book. The journey begins by looking inward. By asking the questions that Ms. Pederson suggests can lead one to find their true self, discover a passion in life, and gain the confidence to accomplish the goals they wish to obtain. For me, I was in a 'stuck' place, not knowing what I wanted in life. Reading 'What's Next?' and working the exercises which are provided, started me on a path I'd never dreamed I would be capable of pursuing. I feel that I truly can "Do It" now and thank Ms. Pederson for the imputus to get started.

I bought the book on a Saturday afternoon and settled down with it that evening. Once started, I was compelled to continue reading and was finished on Sunday. By Wednesday, I had been through the book again, completing many of the exercises. If you are looking for a guide to help you design a life with meaning and purpose, this is the book for you.

This book is predominantly about women who are already extremely successful in something, who then decide to downshift and/or explore artistic or more nurturing or fulfilling activities than their previous jobs. The majority of the examples are famous women, not real people. When "real" people are used as examples, they are typically someone such as the the VP of a bank, who then decides to move to marketing for a nonprofit. Other times, the women seem to be able to be supported by a husband, or have experienced a divorce from someone wealthy. These examples don't have much to do with regular women.

When regular women are looked at, the examples seem far fetched. For instance, an older woman who always liked to sing decides to just up and move to Nashville. Through what I would consider a bizarre series of coincidences (running into people she knew in another state who had known her through her previous job), she ends up making a record. Ummmmm...not likely. In another example, a woman who had minimal food experience except for her recent job running a school nutrition program, decides to open up a commercial restaurant, which seems preliminarily successful. How does she do it? Her relatives are lawyers and CPAs, who helped her (again, not realistic for average people to have a personal supply of these rather high billing folks), and then, the food is very fresh. Oh. Okay. Now I understand everything. Another woman, a former teacher, goes to an incredibly expensive law school in her 50s, moving out of state to do so. As an attorney myself, I can tell you the chances of firms hiring newly minted 55-60 year old attorneys are very slim--unless you have some sort of connections or business to bring into the firm--and paying off that kind of debt (130 grand, probably, for 3 years at a private law school) would sink most women of that age, as it means signing up for 30 years of giant, non-dischargeable loan payments.

The other thing that rankled me was that the book is really Christian, but it isn't labeled as such. But, there are frequent references to prayer, spiritual aspects, and God. In fact, I was so annoyed at the end of the book about this that I ran a test--I randomly kept opening the book to see if I could find the word prayer, spiritual, God, or minister. 80% of the time I opened the book to a page with one of those words on it.

Finally, be aware that most of the women profiled are mid to late 40s at earliest, so if you are struggling earlier than that, don't expect a lot of help.

If you are struggling with a mid-life crisis, let me suggest a very thoughtful book by Gail Sheehy, called "Passages." It's an old book, but it's still remarkably on target. It profiles different crisis periods in people's lives, for both men and women, and how to re-integrate and invigorate yourself. This book is largely Christian fluff with some inspirational examples and a few helpful exercises.

Full of stories about famous and not-so-famous women who have changed paths along their way, this book is inspirational. It provides evidence that there are (successful!) paths other than the straight and clear ones, that middle age can be a time of renewal, and that if you rally your courage and open yourself to possibility, you can -- even late in the game -- recharge your life to meet needs you may not have known you had when you started out.

This is a PHENOMENAL book! I am a 43 year old secretary who is ready for a career and life change. I have felt restless for the last few years thinking "is this all there is?", knowing the answer is no, but I couldn't decide where to go next and I didn't even know what to consider in trying to start the decision process. I have been paralyzed with indecision at having too many choices. This book has spoken to me on a very deep level, making me stop and think about how I want to define success in my life and also helping me to think philosophically about what changes I want to make. While I haven't made a final decision, I am ready to ask myself the hard questions this book raises and really think it through. I had checked this book out from the library, and renewed it twice. I'm going to be buying this one and re-reading it regularly to keep myself motivated to embrace life and change. It does have a rather strong religious focus, and I'm not especially religious (though I consider myself spiritual), but I found so much in here to inspire me that it didn't matter. If you are religious, the concepts in this book will undoubtedly resonate with you even more. I highly recommend this book for ALL WOMEN OF EVERY AGE.

The book arrived quickly and was in excellent condition. It was a gift for someone so I was very pleased with the speed of delivery and quality of the book.