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When Anger Hurts Your Relationship: 10 Simple Solutions for Couples Who Fight Paperback – November 9, 2001

4 out of 5 stars 18 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

aleg and McKay, practicing clinical psychologists and coauthors of Couple Skills, pinpoint pain and a resulting sense of helplessness as the roots of anger. By outlining individuals' and couples' basic cycles of hurt and anger, the authors expose the cracks in the armor and the methods of breaking the cycles. Focusing on preventing escalation, managing anger when it arises and repairing the situation after an old pattern takes hold, they espouse a one-day-at-a-time process of swearing off anger (via tension-release exercises, practicing empathy and identifying defensiveness), learning de-escalation tools (a Repair Checklist, an Anger Coping Plan) and regaining trust (by changing speech habits and concertedly giving pleasure).

Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information, Inc.

Review

“Paleg and McKay show us that anger and conflict are inevitable in interpersonal relationships and yet when they arise, we have the opportunity to grow as individuals and as couples—deepening the bond of love with our partners. This is a must-read for all couples who want to learn how to use conflict to create intimacy.”
—Daniel Sonkin, Ph.D., Coauthor, Learning to Live Without Violence: A Handbook for Men



When Anger Hurts Your Relationship is useful, practical, exceptionally well organized, and insightful. I will certainly recommend this book to my angry couples.”
—Ron Potter-Efron, Ph.D., Author, Letting Go of Anger and Stop the Anger Now

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 160 pages
  • Publisher: New Harbinger Publications; 1 edition (November 9, 2001)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1572242604
  • ISBN-13: 978-1572242609
  • Product Dimensions: 9 x 6 x 0.5 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 6.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (18 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #73,772 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Paperback
I have read many books on anger and for couples who have distorted anger, this one is the winner. I also recommend the book "Getting Over getting Mad", by Judy Ford. It explained the importance of anger in our lives and how it "is an indispensable emotion, which when used productively allows us to develop ourselves and our relationships. Its only "when anger covers up pain and fear", that it "clogs our energy, dilutes our joy, and keeps us off track, going in circles, making no headway. Instead of helping us, anger becomes self-defeating." The book has ideas for managing anger in a positive way.
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By P. Friesen on September 29, 2009
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
When Anger Hurts Your Relationship: 10 Simple Solutions for Couples Who Fight
This book is filled with lots of common sense. My anger just prevented me from thinking constructively about it. I would recommend this book to any couple who are struggling with anger as a barrier to issue solving.
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if you don't like therapy or are embarrassed like I was this really helps people who think they don't have a problem with anger. take a chance and give it a read, its only money and it just might save your marriage like it did mine. good luck.
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By cyn on January 3, 2011
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amazing book..me and my bf are reading it together and applying it to our life. we are doing good :] i highly recomend it!
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Format: Paperback
I found the situations to be almost as if she wrote this book about me. Everyone in a relationship needs to read it. May help cut down on divorces.
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A short (137 page) book broken into 10 chapters of suggestions to help fighting in relationships. I think anyone can find at least one thing in this book to help their relationship!
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I use this book as a basis for a relationship-focused anger management class. Very good, drawing on research by Gottman et al.
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My husband said it had interesting points yet he apparently didn't exercise any of them because we are in the middle of a divorce. Obviously not the book's fault but one needs more than a book to help.
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