From Publishers Weekly
aleg and McKay, practicing clinical psychologists and coauthors of Couple Skills, pinpoint pain and a resulting sense of helplessness as the roots of anger. By outlining individuals' and couples' basic cycles of hurt and anger, the authors expose the cracks in the armor and the methods of breaking the cycles. Focusing on preventing escalation, managing anger when it arises and repairing the situation after an old pattern takes hold, they espouse a one-day-at-a-time process of swearing off anger (via tension-release exercises, practicing empathy and identifying defensiveness), learning de-escalation tools (a Repair Checklist, an Anger Coping Plan) and regaining trust (by changing speech habits and concertedly giving pleasure).
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“Paleg and McKay show us that anger and conflict are inevitable in interpersonal relationships and yet when they arise, we have the opportunity to grow as individuals and as couples—deepening the bond of love with our partners. This is a must-read for all couples who want to learn how to use conflict to create intimacy.”
—Daniel Sonkin, Ph.D., Coauthor, Learning to Live Without Violence: A Handbook for Men
“When Anger Hurts Your Relationship is useful, practical, exceptionally well organized, and insightful. I will certainly recommend this book to my angry couples.”
—Ron Potter-Efron, Ph.D., Author, Letting Go of Anger and Stop the Anger Now