When Anger Hurts Your Relationship is a first-aid manual for angry couples. Psychologists and best-selling authors Matthew McKay and Kim Paleg present an array of tools and strategies that couples can use to reduce conflict, diffuse intense rages, and move beyond repeated anger dynamics. Each chapter is chock-full of proven cognitive-behavioral techniques to help couples reconcile their differences and begin to heal from the hurt that's already been done.
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aleg and McKay, practicing clinical psychologists and coauthors of Couple Skills, pinpoint pain and a resulting sense of helplessness as the roots of anger. By outlining individuals' and couples' basic cycles of hurt and anger, the authors expose the cracks in the armor and the methods of breaking the cycles. Focusing on preventing escalation, managing anger when it arises and repairing the situation after an old pattern takes hold, they espouse a one-day-at-a-time process of swearing off anger (via tension-release exercises, practicing empathy and identifying defensiveness), learning de-escalation tools (a Repair Checklist, an Anger Coping Plan) and regaining trust (by changing speech habits and concertedly giving pleasure).
Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information, Inc.
Review
“Paleg and McKay show us that anger and conflict are inevitable in interpersonal relationships and yet when they arise, we have the opportunity to grow as individuals and as couples—deepening the bond of love with our partners. This is a must-read for all couples who want to learn how to use conflict to create intimacy.”
—Daniel Sonkin, Ph.D., Coauthor, Learning to Live Without Violence: A Handbook for Men
“When Anger Hurts Your Relationship is useful, practical, exceptionally well organized, and insightful. I will certainly recommend this book to my angry couples.”
—Ron Potter-Efron, Ph.D., Author, Letting Go of Anger and Stop the Anger Now
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36 of 39 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
When Anger Hurts your Relationship,
This review is from: When Anger Hurts Your Relationship: 10 Simple Solutions for Couples Who Fight (Paperback)
I have read many books on anger and for couples who have distorted anger, this one is the winner. I also recommend the book "Getting Over getting Mad", by Judy Ford. It explained the importance of anger in our lives and how it "is an indispensable emotion, which when used productively allows us to develop ourselves and our relationships. Its only "when anger covers up pain and fear", that it "clogs our energy, dilutes our joy, and keeps us off track, going in circles, making no headway. Instead of helping us, anger becomes self-defeating." The book has ideas for managing anger in a positive way.
5 of 6 people found the following review helpful:
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This review is from: When Anger Hurts Your Relationship: 10 Simple Solutions for Couples Who Fight (Paperback)
When Anger Hurts Your Relationship: 10 Simple Solutions for Couples Who Fight
This book is filled with lots of common sense. My anger just prevented me from thinking constructively about it. I would recommend this book to any couple who are struggling with anger as a barrier to issue solving.
4 of 5 people found the following review helpful:
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This review is from: When Anger Hurts Your Relationship: 10 Simple Solutions for Couples Who Fight (Paperback)
amazing book..me and my bf are reading it together and applying it to our life. we are doing good :] i highly recomend it!
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Inside This Book
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First Sentence:
Breaking out of the anger trap starts with a simple commitment: today you will act in a calm, nonaggressive way. Read the first page Key Phrases - Statistically Improbable Phrases (SIPs): (learn more)
repair checklist, fun deck, coping plan, pleasure exchange, prevention problem solving, assertive request, diaphragmatic breath, repair attempt Key Phrases - Capitalized Phrases (CAPs): (learn more)
Cue-Controlled Breathing, Anger Coping Plan, Language Reform, Couple's Research Form, Four Don'ts, Empathy Training, Time-Out Contract, Frame of Mind, Other Emotional Pain, Perceived Choices, Physiological State New!
Books on Related Topics | Concordance | Text Stats Browse Sample Pages:
Front Cover | Table of Contents | First Pages | Back Cover | Surprise Me!
Breaking out of the anger trap starts with a simple commitment: today you will act in a calm, nonaggressive way. Read the first page Key Phrases - Statistically Improbable Phrases (SIPs): (learn more)
repair checklist, fun deck, coping plan, pleasure exchange, prevention problem solving, assertive request, diaphragmatic breath, repair attempt Key Phrases - Capitalized Phrases (CAPs): (learn more)
Cue-Controlled Breathing, Anger Coping Plan, Language Reform, Couple's Research Form, Four Don'ts, Empathy Training, Time-Out Contract, Frame of Mind, Other Emotional Pain, Perceived Choices, Physiological State New!
Books on Related Topics | Concordance | Text Stats Browse Sample Pages:
Front Cover | Table of Contents | First Pages | Back Cover | Surprise Me!
Citations (learn more)
This book cites 11
books:
See all 11 books this book cites
- Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In by Roger Fisher on page 34, page 90, and Back Matter
- Gestalt Therapy by M.D., Ph.D. Frederick S. Perls on page 33, and Back Matter
- Angry All the Time: An Emergency Guide to Anger Control by Ronald T. Potter-Efron on page 6, and Back Matter
- The Hitting Habit: Anger Control for Battering Couples by Jeanne P. Deschner on page 84, and Back Matter
- When Anger Hurts by Matthew McKay Ph.D in Front Matter, and Back Matter
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