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When the Bullet Hits Your Funny Bone: The Essence of A U.S. Navy Seal Paperback – January 15, 2012

4.4 out of 5 stars 184 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews

Review


Reviews from Twilight Times Books -
"With Navy SEALs much ballyhoo'ed in the news in the last year, it's good to find out what they're really like. Billy Allmon, a retired SEAL, gives us the insider's look at these elite soldier/sailors. He tells the tale of the formation and history of the SEALs, because he lived it himself. He shows us the laughter, the tears, the hopes and fears and above all, the HUMANITY of the SEALs, as no one else ever could. Fascinating reading, a must for anyone interested in military history or the inside story of this unique breed of warrior."


After reading this book I've ordered a copy for a grandson and my own son. I knew very little about the SEALS but I've always admired them for what I've read and seen. I like the way the book is written. I always felt that I was in the story with these guys--but thank God I wasn't.

This is a genuinely funny book! As an aside note here, People who gave this book one or two stars, must truly be incurably miserable people that they would never find ANYTHING funny! How truly SAD for those types of people.

I ordered this book because I heard the author talking about it during a radio interview and it peaked my interest. When I finally got the book I was very pleased, as I was taking it with me on a business trip to India. While reading, I found myself laughing out loud, and after my third outburst of laughter, the stewardess came over to tell me to please try and control myself. I gave her the book and told her to please read the short chapter that I had just finished about "Foggy Ice Cubes." She did, and then SHE started laughing hysterically! She also wrote down the name of the book.

From the Author

All the events that are written about in my book are true.... Only the names of the victims and perpetrators, as well as a few of the locations where the events took place, were changed to protect all those concerned!
NO_CONTENT_IN_FEATURE

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 248 pages
  • Publisher: Paladin Timeless Books (January 15, 2012)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1606190660
  • ISBN-13: 978-1606190661
  • Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.6 x 8.5 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 12 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (184 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #397,400 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Billy Allmon is a retired Navy SEAL, he honorably served his country from 1969 to 1993. He retired as a chief petty officer, and he is a combat veteran of three wars. While in the Navy SEALs, Mr. Allmon participated in numerous covert and overt missions around the world in support of US doctrine, foreign governments, militaries, and other official agencies. His book, "When the Bullet Hits Your Funny Bone - The Essence of a U.S. Navy SEAL," is a reflection of the humorous side of life in the U.S. Navy SEAL Teams. Billy Allmon will have you in stitches as he reveals how U.S. Navy SEALs use their humor (and at times it is very dark humor) to relieve the stresses of combat, while facing death on almost a daily bases. For all of you out there who love to laugh, even in the face of adversity, this book is a MUST read! If you do NOT care for raw humor or the military, please give this book a pass, as you will NOT enjoy the book.

PREFACE - (PLEASE READ BEFORE YOU PURCHASE MY BOOK)

There have been many books written about the U.S. Navy SEALs. However, in this book I want to concentrate on the humorous side of the Navy SEALs. I feel that there are enough books and movies out there about the blood, guts, and gore of combat. Besides, just about every Navy SEAL (and non-SEALs) would much rather laugh than read about, or hear about, catastrophically harmful events.

Anyone who has been in combat, has been a police officer, first responder, firefighter, worked in the ER of a hospital, a burn center, or a cancer ward--those are the kinds of people I feel would much rather laugh than to sit down and read a book about all the stories of pain, fear, and death.

So, what is it about "dark" humor that is funny? Some may feel that the practical jokes within this book are childish, not funny, or even uncalled for, given the situation and the profession that the stories encompass--scenarios in which all Navy SEALs must work. To those people, I say: You are truly blessed for living such a comfortable life. You have been sheltered from all the ugliness that surrounds you.

I would also presume to say that your career is not in the field of saving or protecting people's lives within the United States, or in any other country overseas. Consequently, you may lack the exposure to life's ugliness, which would provide you with a keen insight into the kind of understanding that is sometimes needed for gallows humor.

The humor within these pages depicts the raw truth of what it takes to continue on mentally, in a career filled with suffering, death, and fear in order to keep one's sanity intact. Consider yourself to be made aware that the humor contained within these pages is not politically correct. It is gross, off-color, sick, or any other word that the faint of heart use because they cannot stomach such humor. So, proceed at your own risk, as you will be demented by SEAL humor.

After my first book, When the Bullet Hits Your Funny Bone: The Essence of a U.S. Navy SEAL, I received a few reviews from people who clearly disliked those who served in the military. It made me wonder why they would even bother to purchase a book that was about people who served in the military in the first place.

Although everyone is entitled to their own opinion, I found it amusing that in their negative reviews, they stated I had lied about the "activities," and the stories, because they could not possibly be true (as if these readers were there), and as if "their review" was the only one that was going to truly matter!

Here is a thought for people who write negative reviews: A few bad reviews are like restaurant reviews; when it comes to certain people, no matter what you serve them, and no matter the quality of the food, atmosphere, or location, it won't matter. Why? Because no matter what it is they are given, they have already made up their minds that they aren't going to like it.

Cheers, and I hope you have the guts to enjoy some raw humor!

SEAL humor!
Billy Allmon
SMC
USN SEAL ret.
Class 58

If you purchase this book, please be so kind as to return, and leave a review of it for others to read. Thank you!

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
I downloaded this book to my kindle. I served in SEAL Team One with the author in the early 70's, then spent the rest of my time as a member of a West coast SEAL reserve team (West Coast Puke). This book brought back some great memories of our time in the Teams and hit the point well for maintaining a sense of humor while engaged in a profession that only a few can endure. I was busting up laughing at several of Billy's stories since they carry the tone and flavor of typical SEAL extracurricular activities in it's day. Whether back in the states or somewhere deployed, when we were not having fun in the field, we were doing it after hours, and some were classic as illustrated in this book. A great read and a big BZ to Billy for writing this and bringing back the good ole days!
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"When the Bullet hits Your Funny Bone" is a great read for anyone looking to see how some of the highly trained and most dedicated military professionals pull pranks on their buddies, handle the stresses of an intense job, and blow off steam. This book has a great balance of funny stories, amazing practical jokes and insight into US Navy SEAL training, life, and the bonds that are forged among these men. Most importantly, the stories of fallen comrades and friends truly honor the men who risk their lives regularly. A great read.
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I am not in the military, but I have about 20 years as a cop. Suffice to say, my sense of humor is about as messed up as you can find. Dark, cynical, pessimistic ... I've lived it ... the only way to mentally survive the ugliness of all that we see...is to laugh and make jokes about things that really shouldn't be funny at all. This book about SEALs made me laugh on more than one occasion ... and leads me to believe that those of us in ugly job descriptions are very similar in how we cope.
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This is a funny book. And by "funny" I in no way mean that in any kind of politically correct, or easily offended description of that word. If you are easily offended, this is not the book for you. If you have never been in "life or death" situations with others that you have trained alongside of, then a lot of this humor may not make sense to you. It may actually seem pretty mean. But trust me, its funny if you understand where it comes from.

The jokes and pranks in this book are from a time that no longer exists. The old-school Navy is gone, and there are a lot of things about it that I miss. That is probably a good thing though. If you understand it you will probably find quite a few things in this book that make you laugh or make you remember the old days.

The book is written in many short, two to three page chapters. Each chapter sets the stage for the ensuing joke or prank. I found myself reading a chapter or two every time I had a few spare minutes.

There were many times during reading this book that I laughed. One was the chapter about the monkey and the safe. I could not stop laughing. Then I started to think, what went so horribly wrong in my life that I find this funny? I stopped laughing for a minute in contemplation, then realized "screw that, its funny" and I started laughing again. I also liked the story about culling goats on an island to protect an endangered fox.

I you spent time in the military, or worked alongside others where you spent lots of time together and put in long hours, then you will enjoy this book because there is a good chance you may have played a few of these pranks. Or maybe thought about doing some of them and then reconsidered because it was too mean?
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Format: Paperback
Bill is a much better warrior than a writer. This does not denigrate his writing skills but tells you how great a warrior he is. After you read this book you will appreciate the prior statement. I need however to go further, reading this book you will grow to appreciate how good a person Bill is. He is never down and no matter how bad the situation is, Bill will always find the humor and upside. Read the book and enjoy Bill's world.
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First and foremost, thank you Mr. Allmon for your service to our country. I'm forever grateful. Now on the my review... After reading and in some cases reading again books by Dick Couch, Osman, and Luttrell over the last 5+ years, this is book is the only one that gives you a unique "inside baseball" look into some of the things that go on behind the scenes on the Teams. It's a refreshing look into how Mr. Allmon and his fellow SEALs blew off some steam in their "down time" as well as sometimes while on duty. Each chapter is a specific first-hand true story that Mr. Allmon was part of. Most chapters are funny, some are really hilarious and one (Chapter 54) started off making me laugh and ends unexpectedly sad. Bottom line is that this book is not as polished/edited as those by Dick Couch but that's what makes it so good. In my opinion, this makes it more real. If you are interested in our elite warriors and you want a behind the scenes look of what some do to relieve stress and the concept of "payback", I highly recommend that you buy this book and read it. You will not be disappointed. Bravo Zulu Mr. Allmon!
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The book is a series of vignettes which recount humorous, or more accourately, ironic situations that the author encountered in his SEAL experience. Some were maddening rather than funny, such as the situation where his CO refused to give his team Travel Expenses to a ligitimate training experience. Others were made me smile, such as the trout fishing expedition.

While SF and SEAL warriors that I have met are not slap-happy with other folks, this book illustrates the things that do "tickle the funny bone" for them.
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