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When Children Grieve: For Adults to Help Children Deal with Death, Divorce, Pet Loss, Moving, and Other Losses Paperback


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Frequently Bought Together

When Children Grieve: For Adults to Help Children Deal with Death, Divorce, Pet Loss, Moving, and Other Losses + The Grief Recovery Handbook, 20th Anniversary Expanded Edition: The Action Program for Moving Beyond Death, Divorce, and Other Losses including Health, Career, and Faith + Moving On: Dump Your Relationship Baggage and Make Room for the Love of Your Life
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 288 pages
  • Publisher: Harper Perennial; Reprint edition (June 4, 2002)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0060084294
  • ISBN-13: 978-0060084295
  • Product Dimensions: 8 x 5.3 x 0.7 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 7.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (22 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #17,179 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

It would be a pity if this interesting, humane, and practical book were read only by parents of recently bereaved children--for two reasons. First, the book is about grief in a broad sense. Its lessons apply not only to the child whose pet, aunt, or parent has died, but also to the child whose parents have divorced, who has suffered a debilitating injury, or who has experienced other forms of traumatic loss. Second, let's face it: every child will suffer a loss at some point, so it behooves parents to be prepared in advance. As the authors say, "our task as parents is to prepare our children to deal with the experiences they will have."

It's unfortunate that the book has what might be considered a common structural flaw in self-help books. All of Part I (about 50 pages) is devoted to examining various myths about grieving and mistakes in dealing with it--for example, that the griever should keep busy and try not to feel bad. This is "good advice about bad advice," but it leaves the reader wondering why the authors didn't choose to get on with the plain old "good advice" on page 1. By Part II, it's already clear which coping techniques the authors will recommend. It would have been better to start there. --Richard Farr --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Publishers Weekly

Coauthors of The Grief Recovery Handbook, John W. James and Russell Friedman join with psychotherapist Leslie Landon Matthews to present When Children Grieve: For Adults to Help Children Deal with Death, Divorce, Pet Loss, Moving, and Other Losses. This compassionate manual addresses the nature of grief, purges common myths the worst of which, the authors claim, is that time heals all wounds (only small, positive actions can heal a person, insist James, Friedman and Matthews) and encourages adults to adopt a more healthy approach to grief themselves, so that they, in turn, can help children.

Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information, Inc.

--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

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Customer Reviews

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I read parts of this book outloud at the dinner table.
Deborah Spera
Reading "When Children Grieve" of course is a must read for anyone with children facing any kind of loss, be it death of a relative, moving, death of a pet, divorce.
April Braswell
These publications are excellent for grievers or people conducting grief groups.
Amazon Customer

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

34 of 34 people found the following review helpful By The Rev. Dr. Daniel J. G. G. Block on May 23, 2003
Format: Paperback
I am a conservative, grumpy, old, Lutheran pastor, vehemently opposed to all things "New Age." I despise the fads of pop-psychology. "Touchy-Feely" advice from so-called experts, who demand exorbitant fees, often makes me want to wretch. So, I approached this book filled with trepidation.
There was no need for my concerned.
Writing with extraordinary gentleness and common sense Mr. James, Mr. Friedman and Dr. Matthews have provided adults with an invaluable outline on how to shepherd the children in their lives through loss, grief and recovery. Every parent, grandparent, teacher, pastor, priest, rabbi, nurse or physician who expects the children in their lives to suffer the death of a pet, suffer the death of a relative, move or endure a divorce will benefit from reading this book.
Do yourself a favor. Read this book for the sake of the children whom you love. It is well worth the investment of your time.
Then, do yourself a second favor, and place a copy of this book in your church, synagogue or public library for the others who will grow by reading it.
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16 of 16 people found the following review helpful By Nancy Stutz-Martin on June 6, 2001
Format: Hardcover
As a Mental Health Professional and specialist in the field of grief, I was asked to review the final manuscript of 'When Children Grieve.' In all honesty I could not put it down. It is easy to read, warm, truthful,and above all practical. Finally a book that tells you exactly what to do and why. I had the opportunity to use the information in 'When Children Grieve' with a group of boys ages 12-16 who were labeled 'behavioral/emotional' problems within the public school system. The results were incredible. It certainly reinforced the 'truths' of this book. If we taught our children these principles we would not have all the 'Columbine's' and 'Post Office' traumas that are frequently on the evening news. As a mother, I only wish I had this book when my children were young. I believe 'When Children Grieve' should be in the hands of EVERY person who encounters children both professionally and socially.
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15 of 15 people found the following review helpful By Dr. Russ Buenteo, Director of Community Affairs, Trust Family Funeral Homes on January 14, 2004
Format: Paperback
This book should be required for all parents. If you want to understand the basics of human and/or child behavior, this book is a must read. The book succinctly and lovingly explains the concept of "loss" and the emotional and physical responses to it-what we would normally call grief.
The beauty of this book is that grief is placed in a larger context. In other words, according to the authors, grief is the response when experiencing a "massive change or end from everything familiar." Therefore, children, and adults, can grieve a variety of situations: loss of a pet, moving to another neighborhood, or changing schools.
Therein rests the beauty of this book. This book explains how to help children. More importantly, the adults who are required to provide the assistance will learn more about their children and themselves.
So highly recommended, there are not enough stars to express this book's importance.
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10 of 10 people found the following review helpful By Helena Avedikian on August 15, 2002
Format: Paperback
After reading this book my eyes have been open to the conversations I have had with the children I teach and those that I come in contact with. I felt that this book is one that anyone in any profession could relate to. The book's focus is on how to help our child deal with grief or loss but I feel that it even teachs us, as adults, how to communicate with children in an every day conversation.
During the first 7 chapters the authors focus on the myths that we as adults communicate to our children, and inturn see the myths that were communicated to us as children. Everyone at some point in their life will deal with loss/grief of some sort and also helping someone they love deal with loss/grief. We all must be equipted with the knowledge of how to do this effectivly. This book is an easy reading book that at anytime can be pulled off your home library shelf and put to good use.
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11 of 12 people found the following review helpful By Deborah Spera on June 14, 2001
Format: Hardcover
I read parts of this book outloud at the dinner table. It intrigued my nine year old daughter so much SHE started reading it. She came into my bedroom shocked one day and said, "Mom get this...did you know some parents don't use the word dead or died around their children? Instead, they spell the word. Isn't that crazy?" "Yes it is crazy", I replied.
This book is a god send. As a family we were all there when our dog of 13 years died. We cried, shared memories,laughed and said good bye. It was a perfect experience for our family and my nine year old and six year old were a part of it. Loss is an opportunity for growth...this book helps us with that.
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10 of 11 people found the following review helpful By dana greene on August 17, 2002
Format: Paperback
Everyone deals with grief at some point. "When Children Grieve" by John James and Russell Friedman is an amazingly helpful book. After the recent death of a dear friend, I needed help in understanding grief from a child's perspective. This easy to read book explains that it's healthy to grieve, and that adults need to allow children time to heal. "Children need to feel bad when their hearts are broken. Adults should never try to fix a child's loss."
Also, the book explains that grief doesn't just come from death, but instead can be motivated by divorce, pet loss, moving and even a parent's job loss. Grief stems from sudden change in ritualistic behavior. As adults, it is our role to facilitate the child's emotions by helping them discover "undelivered communications." This book teaches adults how to reach out to children and guide them through difficult times. It's a must read for all parents who want to encourage emotional growth and mental wellbeing in their children.
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