Nearly three-quarters of women who are chronically mistreated by their partners have children. In this sensitive, respectful book, counselor, speaker, trainer and activist Bancroft (Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men) gives those women ways to help their children heal from the pain of seeing such abuse. Using anecdotes, Q&As, bulleted "points to remember" and a caring but firm tone, Bancroft tells abused mothers exactly what actions they should take to help their children. Dont blame children (or yourself), he says, and let children know its good to talk about the verbal or physical abuse theyve been exposed to. Bancroft coaches moms to tell their children abuse is wrong, but warns them not to criticize the abuser as a person if he is a father-figure to the children. Bancrofts important book addresses peripheral issues, too, such as the effects of separation and divorce, and dealing with child protective services and the family court system.
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Bancroft draws on 16 years of counseling men who abuse women and as a custody evaluator and child-abuse investigator to offer sound advice to women who are abused by their partners and are concerned about the impact on their children. Without judging women in abusive situations, Bancroft emphasizes that they are in the best position to help their children heal after witnessing abuse. She begins by describing how children view abuse from verbal put-downs of their mother to physical abuse and how their conflict and confusion manifest in a range of symptoms from sleeping and eating disorders to underperformance in school. She ends each chapter with action guidelines for women called "What Can I Do?" Bancroft analyzes the pros and cons of deciding whether to stay with or leave an abusive partner and offers coping strategies that include teaching children to be open about their feelings and devising a "safety plan" of escape if necessary. She also offers advice on choosing therapists and support groups, and practical skills for rebuilding the family. Vanessa Bush
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
I am currently reading "Why Does He Do That?" By the same author....it is AMAZING! It is a MUST read! I just ordered this one. Read morePublished 1 month ago by Kendal Sceals
This is one of my first Lundy Bancroft books and I found it to be so helpful. I have a young child with an abusive partner and was looking for some guidance in how to raise him... Read morePublished 3 months ago by Melissa
Excellent tool for helping your child recover. I was able to use many things out of this book to help my own kids. Read morePublished 3 months ago by Appreciative Parent
very helpful, eye opening, helping me the grandmother in the family trying to help and understand what my daughter and her children are going thruPublished 4 months ago by CAW
Ordered this for someone I know who left a Domestic Violence situation and it has helped her immensely.Published 5 months ago by L. Syring
Excellent book for advocates and survivors. Wonderful suggestions for actual steps that help.Published 6 months ago by Brandy
Lundy Bancroft is such a gifted author, I love everything he's written- but my kids don't want to talk about any of this with anyone, so this is not a book I've been able to go... Read morePublished 6 months ago by No1
A very tough subject matter. Heartbreaking to read. Well written but such a sad situation, and all the suffering is hard to read about.. Read morePublished 7 months ago by Marilyn Prouty