When Did I Get Like This?: The Screamer, the Worrier, the Dinosaur-Chicken-Nugget-Buyer, and Other Mothers I Swore I'd Never Be [Hardcover]

Amy Wilson (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: April 6, 2010

When Did I Get Like This? is the hilarious story of one mother's struggle to shrug off the ridiculous standards of modern parenting, and remember how to enjoy her children

Over the last seven years of long days with little children, I have had many moments of joy, calm, and peaceful reverie.

This book is about the other moments.

Before I became a mother, failing at something did not shake my fundamental belief in my capabilities as a human being. But now that I am the mother of three children under the age of seven, I have one overriding daily thought: I suck at this.

What kind of mother feeds her kids dinosaur chicken nuggets? Three times a week? What kind of mother lets hand washing after using the toilet slide, as long as it was just Number One? And then I wonder: When did I get like this? Why do I doubt my parenting abilities, day after day? Why does motherhood, a job as old as Eve, have me teetering daily on the edge of sanity?

With each new stage of motherhood, I tell myself I will never again be suckered by the question, "Don't you want what's best for your children?" And yet, time after time, I am. Sometimes, I am right to obsess. Other times, the record will show, it has been distinctly counterproductive.

I'm working on it . . .

Editorial Reviews

Review

“When Did I Get Like This? is a funny, heartwarming account by [a] frazzled young mother of three. This book will help [new mothers] remember that the worst day with children is better than the best day without them.” (The Washington Post )

“Wilson’s got a light comic touch, but also traffics unflinchingly in the gross and the sad.” (Entertainment Weekly )

“Like Annie Hall wearing a nursing bra!” (New York Times (on the stage play) )

“Amy Wilson’s hilarious, tender memoir of all the ways her children drive her crazy--and she drives herself crazy--had me laughing out loud with recognition. She captures the small moments of motherhood in a way that is both funny and thought-provoking.” (Gretchen Rubin, author of The Happiness Project )

“Reading Amy Wilson’s book is like meeting your favorite new mom friend: She’s whip-smart, charming, enviably capable but as self-doubting as the rest of us, and very, very funny.” (Pamela Paul, author of Parenting, Inc. )

“An honest, personal, and often hilarious collection of short, beautifully written chapters. As entertaining as it is reassuring.” (Christie Mellor, author of The Three-Martini Playdate )

About the Author

Amy Wilson created the one-woman show Mother Load, which started in 2007 and has been touring the country ever since. As an actor, she has performed on Broadway, as a series regular on two sitcoms, and in dozens of other plays and films. Her writing appears regularly in Parenting magazine, as well as Redbook, Babytalk, babble.com, and CNN.com's "Living" page. But her favorite productions are her three young children, whom she raises with her husband in New York City.

Product Details

• Hardcover: 272 pages
• Publisher: William Morrow; 1 edition (April 6, 2010)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0061956953
• ISBN-13: 978-0061956959
• Product Dimensions: 8.3 x 6.4 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (57 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #403,566 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Amy Wilson is the performer and creator of MOTHER LOAD, a one-woman show that has toured the United States since 2007. Amy writes for Redbook, Parenting, American Baby, and Babytalk magazines, and for websites like Babble, Huffington Post, BlogHer, and CNN.com. As an actress, Amy has performed on and off Broadway, on numerous sitcoms, and in films. But her favorite productions are her three young children, whom she raises with her husband in New York City. WHEN DID I GET LIKE THIS? is Wilson's first book-- and you can keep up with Amy's adventures in parenting on her blog, whendidigetlikethis.com.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

31 of 34 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars I laughed, I cried, I smiled wide...and I'm just a father!, March 30, 2010

By 

Andrew Ellington (I'm kind of everywhere) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)   

This review is from: When Did I Get Like This?: The Screamer, the Worrier, the Dinosaur-Chicken-Nugget-Buyer, and Other Mothers I Swore I'd Never Be (Hardcover)

(What's this?)

A few days ago my wife walked into our living room and tossed this book on the coffee table, it sliding down to meet my feet, and she said "thank you", with a smile that read `honesty' plastered across her face. The "thank you" she uttered was because, a few weeks ago, I handed her this book as we were getting on a plane. Being pregnant with baby number two has not been the easiest time in the world for my wife. Her first pregnancy was spectacular. She was never sick, always feeling fresh and happy, so much so that she would make comments like "I wish I could stay pregnant forever". She was in heaven. This pregnancy has been a complete 180. She is sick every night, always feeling run down and tired and depressed. She has been stressing over getting older, feeling as though being a mother is going to take away her youth.

I thought that this would help. Thankfully it did.

With her approval and strong recommendation (and the fact that I needed to read it before I could review it), I pried open this book and sunk my teeth in, and I never wanted to stop. I gobbled up every page as quickly as they came. I was so absorbed in this little book because it was SO true.

I think I should state right off that I am a VERY hands-on dad. Ever since my wife got pregnant with baby number one, I have read every parenting book she had. I attended all the classes willingly. I am in charge of bedtimes. I give the baths. Basically, when I come home from work, that baby (now nearly 3) is mine. Being a father is something that I have always known I wanted, and it is something I have never taken for granted. So, when reading this book I knew exactly what Amy was talking about, because I am just as much a `mother' and my wife.

I will also say that I was no where near as panicky about being `perfect' as my wife was, but I know exactly what Amy is referring to, because I've seen it.

The lovely thing about `When Did I Get Like This?' is that it is honest. Amy Wilson is not trying to create an image of herself that is holier than thou. She is not trying to tell you how to be a mother. She is just trying to help you see that the best mothers are the ones who learn, over time, to relax. As a parent, you are always going to want what is best for your child, and so that usually means that you sink your teeth way too far into what the media and your parents and your friends have to say about parenting. You often feel like a failure when you see another mother doing something you deem better than what you are doing instead of realizing that being a good mother (or a good parent in general) is about so much more than feeding them organic foods and making sure they get into the `right' pre-school.

But, as Amy so brilliantly proves, worrying is a big (and very important) part of a mothers job.

Written in a way that is humorous, engaging and relatable, `When Did I Get Like This?' is one of the best reads I've encountered in a while. It is breezy and very easy to get into. I also want to say that this is a book I strongly recommend for any mother-to-be. I remember when my wife was pregnant with baby number one. We were so excited. We saw nothing to be anxious or worried about. We saw her pregnancy as meaning one thing; a beautiful (hopefully healthy) baby. I wish that someone would have warned us that breastfeeding was going to be so difficult. I wish that we would have known that our little bundle of joy was going to scream like a demon when we put her down. I wish that someone would have informed us that it's important to develop your own pace and your own parenting style, being sure to listen to those who have been through it, but remembering always to take every ounce of advice with a grain of salt.

I wish Amy Wilson had written this book 3 years ago!

24 of 26 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars Misleading marketing but still a good book, May 2, 2010

By 

Arthur Digbee (Indianapolis, IN, USA) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)    (TOP 1000 REVIEWER)   

This review is from: When Did I Get Like This?: The Screamer, the Worrier, the Dinosaur-Chicken-Nugget-Buyer, and Other Mothers I Swore I'd Never Be (Hardcover)

(What's this?)

This book is marketed as a hilarious account of being a mother of young children. Since I picked it up thinking that's what it is, I guess the marketing is effective. One or two of the chapters are funny but most of them are memoirs of motherhood. Various other adjectives come to mind, including "heartwarming" and in some cases "bittersweet," but don't buy looking for a modern Erma Bombeck.

Wilson is a mother of two boys and a girl who lives in Manhattan. An actress by profession, she took some time off to be a full-time mom. (The book overlaps with her one-woman Off-Broadway show, so she's apparently returned to at least part-time work.) Her husband works twelve-hour days in the financial sector and is nearly invisible in the book. But the family has resources: they can rent a house in the country for six weeks or so every summer and send the kids to day camps while they're at it. They can go on week-long vacations skiing or to Disney World. Wilson gets babysitter support, and I will guess other support in the household. They can afford a lot of "Mommy and Me" classes, among other activities. In short, they are pretty darned affluent people, so their challenges are different from other people's challenges.

In literary terms, this background affects some of the characterization of other people (and herself). She will define some people and activities by brand names - - people who buy baby clothes brand X or Y, or shop at maternity store Z. That's not my world, and I have no idea what those brand names mean. Fortunately, it's not a central focus of the book.

The real strength of the book is Wilson's interweaving of stories and her own reflections. When she goes to those "Mommy and Me" classes, she reflects on the baby-centered focus of these activities and all the mothers' lives (including her own). When she has second and third children, she comes to realize that this kind of baby narcissism is no longer feasible. That means her experience changes, and also means that her firstborn's childhood is very different than the other kids', in ways both good and bad.

Wilson is thoughtful and can write a good story. She's smart and self-reflective, even fairly honest. Those are the characteristics that make this a worthy book of the bittersweet moments of parenting.

8 of 8 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent, authentic book for 30ish, middle-class moms, July 10, 2010

By 

Nicki Heskin "Editor, Early Childhood and Bre... (Southern California) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)   

This review is from: When Did I Get Like This?: The Screamer, the Worrier, the Dinosaur-Chicken-Nugget-Buyer, and Other Mothers I Swore I'd Never Be (Hardcover)

(What's this?)

I was recently privileged to read Amy Wilson's excellent new exploration of modern middle-class motherhood, "When Did I Get Like This? The Screamer, the Worrier, the Dinosaur-Chicken-Nugget-Buyer and Other Mothers I Swore I'd Never Be" by New York actress-turned-writer Amy Wilson.

Rather than the typical, slightly whiny attacks on the "cult of motherhood" or attached parenting I have come to expect in these sorts of books, this one was amazingly personal and authentic. Amy Wilson is funny, to be sure, but in a heart-warming sort of way. She doesn't really advocate for any particular view or theory of parenting, but addresses many aspects of modern motherhood in balanced, storytelling sort of way that made me feel by the end of the book that she'd become one of my close women friends with whom I chat about this sort of thing all the time.

She starts out the book with three chapters on pregnancy - getting pregnant/fertility issues, diet during pregnancy and birth/birth plans. They are just lovely chapters, touching on the stress mothers face over trying to control and plan events that are ultimately out of our control - when, how and in what state of health our new babies will arrive. Yes, there are many things we can do to influence this - healthy diets, Bradley classes, prenatal care, etc. But giving oneself up to pregnancy and labor is a big part of learning that life with children will never be entirely in our control in the way that college-educated, middle class career women have come to think everything should be.

As a lactation educator, I was nervous wading into her chapter on breastfeeding, "Nipple Confusion." But the words I slightly wept through were some of the most balanced, authentic and moving I have ever read on the experience. She is not "anti-formula" or a "breastfeeding nazi," but simply recounts her confusion, her fear, her own experience and her "successful" outcome. She offers not any sort of "guidebook" but a recognition that breastfeeding is a learning experience that women need support and information. She doesn't sugar-coat the experience, but acknowledges that it is worth it in the end if you can find support and pull it off.

After this, Wilson takes us through the worlds of reflux, yelling at our kids, talking about bodies with kids, preschool applications, calling girls "pretty," husbands and childcare duties, lying (to kids and by kids), flying with children, developmental issues, the debate over "crying it out," and more. I didn't always agree with her (in that she didn't always do things "my way") but I found myself with such a healthy respect for her agonized decision-making and her journey, which is really what it's all about. Ironically, she never talks about feeding her kids chicken nuggets (or if she did, it wasn't a particularly memorable part of the book).

She definitely is writing for women in their mid to late 30s, with references to her "My Friend, Mandy" doll (I had a "My Friend, Jenny, myself). And even though her trevails over being chosen by a preschool in New York are quite different than my choosing a preschool in California, you can still relate to her hunger to find the "right fit" for her child and her stress over laying out her family and parenting to be judged by others. A particular treat was her reference to the excellent "Gesell Child Development" series in her "Disequilibrium" chapter dealing with the times we don't want to talk about when we don't always like our kids, as much as we love them.

Highly recommended.