Customer Reviews

When Did I Get Like This?: The Screamer, the Worrier, the Dinosaur-Chicken-Nugget-Buyer, and Other Mothers I Swore I'd Never Be

5 star:		(26)
4 star:		(17)
3 star:		(9)
2 star:		(3)
1 star:		(2)

 

 

A few days ago my wife walked into our living room and tossed this book on the coffee table, it sliding down to meet my feet, and she said "thank you", with a smile that read `honesty' plastered across her face. The "thank you" she uttered was because, a few weeks ago, I handed her this book as we were getting on a plane. Being pregnant with baby number two has not been the easiest time in the world for my wife. Her first pregnancy was spectacular. She was never sick, always feeling fresh and happy, so much so that she would make comments like "I wish I could stay pregnant forever". She was in heaven. This pregnancy has been a complete 180. She is sick every night, always feeling run down and tired and depressed. She has been stressing over getting older, feeling as though being a mother is going to take away her youth.

I thought that this would help. Thankfully it did.

With her approval and strong recommendation (and the fact that I needed to read it before I could review it), I pried open this book and sunk my teeth in, and I never wanted to stop. I gobbled up every page as quickly as they came. I was so absorbed in this little book because it was SO true.

I think I should state right off that I am a VERY hands-on dad. Ever since my wife got pregnant with baby number one, I have read every parenting book she had. I attended all the classes willingly. I am in charge of bedtimes. I give the baths. Basically, when I come home from work, that baby (now nearly 3) is mine. Being a father is something that I have always known I wanted, and it is something I have never taken for granted. So, when reading this book I knew exactly what Amy was talking about, because I am just as much a `mother' and my wife.

I will also say that I was no where near as panicky about being `perfect' as my wife was, but I know exactly what Amy is referring to, because I've seen it.

The lovely thing about `When Did I Get Like This?' is that it is honest. Amy Wilson is not trying to create an image of herself that is holier than thou. She is not trying to tell you how to be a mother. She is just trying to help you see that the best mothers are the ones who learn, over time, to relax. As a parent, you are always going to want what is best for your child, and so that usually means that you sink your teeth way too far into what the media and your parents and your friends have to say about parenting. You often feel like a failure when you see another mother doing something you deem better than what you are doing instead of realizing that being a good mother (or a good parent in general) is about so much more than feeding them organic foods and making sure they get into the `right' pre-school.

But, as Amy so brilliantly proves, worrying is a big (and very important) part of a mothers job.

Written in a way that is humorous, engaging and relatable, `When Did I Get Like This?' is one of the best reads I've encountered in a while. It is breezy and very easy to get into. I also want to say that this is a book I strongly recommend for any mother-to-be. I remember when my wife was pregnant with baby number one. We were so excited. We saw nothing to be anxious or worried about. We saw her pregnancy as meaning one thing; a beautiful (hopefully healthy) baby. I wish that someone would have warned us that breastfeeding was going to be so difficult. I wish that we would have known that our little bundle of joy was going to scream like a demon when we put her down. I wish that someone would have informed us that it's important to develop your own pace and your own parenting style, being sure to listen to those who have been through it, but remembering always to take every ounce of advice with a grain of salt.

I wish Amy Wilson had written this book 3 years ago!

This book is marketed as a hilarious account of being a mother of young children. Since I picked it up thinking that's what it is, I guess the marketing is effective. One or two of the chapters are funny but most of them are memoirs of motherhood. Various other adjectives come to mind, including "heartwarming" and in some cases "bittersweet," but don't buy looking for a modern Erma Bombeck.

Wilson is a mother of two boys and a girl who lives in Manhattan. An actress by profession, she took some time off to be a full-time mom. (The book overlaps with her one-woman Off-Broadway show, so she's apparently returned to at least part-time work.) Her husband works twelve-hour days in the financial sector and is nearly invisible in the book. But the family has resources: they can rent a house in the country for six weeks or so every summer and send the kids to day camps while they're at it. They can go on week-long vacations skiing or to Disney World. Wilson gets babysitter support, and I will guess other support in the household. They can afford a lot of "Mommy and Me" classes, among other activities. In short, they are pretty darned affluent people, so their challenges are different from other people's challenges.

In literary terms, this background affects some of the characterization of other people (and herself). She will define some people and activities by brand names - - people who buy baby clothes brand X or Y, or shop at maternity store Z. That's not my world, and I have no idea what those brand names mean. Fortunately, it's not a central focus of the book.

The real strength of the book is Wilson's interweaving of stories and her own reflections. When she goes to those "Mommy and Me" classes, she reflects on the baby-centered focus of these activities and all the mothers' lives (including her own). When she has second and third children, she comes to realize that this kind of baby narcissism is no longer feasible. That means her experience changes, and also means that her firstborn's childhood is very different than the other kids', in ways both good and bad.

Wilson is thoughtful and can write a good story. She's smart and self-reflective, even fairly honest. Those are the characteristics that make this a worthy book of the bittersweet moments of parenting.

I was recently privileged to read Amy Wilson's excellent new exploration of modern middle-class motherhood, "When Did I Get Like This? The Screamer, the Worrier, the Dinosaur-Chicken-Nugget-Buyer and Other Mothers I Swore I'd Never Be" by New York actress-turned-writer Amy Wilson.

Rather than the typical, slightly whiny attacks on the "cult of motherhood" or attached parenting I have come to expect in these sorts of books, this one was amazingly personal and authentic. Amy Wilson is funny, to be sure, but in a heart-warming sort of way. She doesn't really advocate for any particular view or theory of parenting, but addresses many aspects of modern motherhood in balanced, storytelling sort of way that made me feel by the end of the book that she'd become one of my close women friends with whom I chat about this sort of thing all the time.

She starts out the book with three chapters on pregnancy - getting pregnant/fertility issues, diet during pregnancy and birth/birth plans. They are just lovely chapters, touching on the stress mothers face over trying to control and plan events that are ultimately out of our control - when, how and in what state of health our new babies will arrive. Yes, there are many things we can do to influence this - healthy diets, Bradley classes, prenatal care, etc. But giving oneself up to pregnancy and labor is a big part of learning that life with children will never be entirely in our control in the way that college-educated, middle class career women have come to think everything should be.

As a lactation educator, I was nervous wading into her chapter on breastfeeding, "Nipple Confusion." But the words I slightly wept through were some of the most balanced, authentic and moving I have ever read on the experience. She is not "anti-formula" or a "breastfeeding nazi," but simply recounts her confusion, her fear, her own experience and her "successful" outcome. She offers not any sort of "guidebook" but a recognition that breastfeeding is a learning experience that women need support and information. She doesn't sugar-coat the experience, but acknowledges that it is worth it in the end if you can find support and pull it off.

After this, Wilson takes us through the worlds of reflux, yelling at our kids, talking about bodies with kids, preschool applications, calling girls "pretty," husbands and childcare duties, lying (to kids and by kids), flying with children, developmental issues, the debate over "crying it out," and more. I didn't always agree with her (in that she didn't always do things "my way") but I found myself with such a healthy respect for her agonized decision-making and her journey, which is really what it's all about. Ironically, she never talks about feeding her kids chicken nuggets (or if she did, it wasn't a particularly memorable part of the book).

She definitely is writing for women in their mid to late 30s, with references to her "My Friend, Mandy" doll (I had a "My Friend, Jenny, myself). And even though her trevails over being chosen by a preschool in New York are quite different than my choosing a preschool in California, you can still relate to her hunger to find the "right fit" for her child and her stress over laying out her family and parenting to be judged by others. A particular treat was her reference to the excellent "Gesell Child Development" series in her "Disequilibrium" chapter dealing with the times we don't want to talk about when we don't always like our kids, as much as we love them.

Highly recommended.

This is a collection of short essays by Amy Wilson about her experiences as a mother of three and the (often broad) disparity between her expectations of herself as a mother vs the reality. Many of the stories are hilariously funny whereas others are thought provoking. It's a very enjoyable, quick read that's easy to pick up and put down. Amy has a very personal and honest writing style - and a wicked sense of humor. (Don't miss Chapter 20.)

Reading this book is a bit like having a long conversation with one of your best friends - in fact, I think I HAD the conversation about husbands and their different approach to parenting with a friend only last week! I could identify with so many of her stories. Like her, my plans in my first pregnancy of delivering via a natural birth went completely out the window (giving birth under general anaesthetic wasn't exactly in my birthplan), I tend to feel like homework projects are a reflection on my parenting ability and while I try hard, I often fall short of my intentions to be a calm and organized Mom. She runs the gamut from how Facebook can help you to keep the small non-Mom part of you alive to discussing the facts of life with young children.

Although I think this book is best suited for Moms of pre-schoolers, my children are 10 and 6 and I still thoroughly enjoyed it. I ended the book feeling like I knew Amy and that she had become a friend.

After giving birth to my third child, my sister gave me this book and promised I would love it. I thought perhaps it was another one of her typical parenting how to books, but I took it anyway.

I finished it in one day. I absolutely loved it. I literally felt like Amy Wilson had gotten into my head and my house and was chronicling me as a mother. I laughed so hard my newborn's head bounced up and down as I nursed.

This book is so engaging, funny, smartly written and refreshing. She does not instruct how to be a mother, but is honest in her accounting of her own mothering stories, which in fact make the reader feel like a fellow comrade. Although she uses stories of her own children in funny ways, I loved the way each chapter starts out amusing and somewhat questioning, by the end she has always wrapped it up so nicely and warmly you wish you were part of her family.

I think every mother (especially of more than one child) would enjoy and appreciate this book. It is a conversation more mothers should have amongst one another to relieve some of the tension.

Amy Wilson is a person I feel like could be a best friend, and I loved how that came through in this book.

Wonderful read!

This is one of the best books about motherhood that I've had the pleasure to read. Amy Wilson's life sounds so much like my own. It did me worlds of good to read about her experiences as a mom and her feelings about those experiences. She's like the friend you wish you had while going through pregnancy, birth, and the first few years of your children's lives. If you've ever spent hours in Mommy and Me classes, lost your temper with your kids, felt shy about approaching other moms, or fretted over trying to be a perfect parent, then this book is for you. Highly recommended!

I am a working mother of 2. I purchased three books: Just Let Me Lie Down: Necessary Terms for the Half-Insane Working Mom by Kristin Van Ogtrop, Didn't I Feed You Yesterday?: A Mother's Guide to Sanity in Stilettos by Laura Bennett, and Amy Wilson's book. Amy's book was hands down the best out of all three. Although she talks about her own life, all mothers can relate to what she went through. It was laugh out loud funny at many points throughout the book. I don't laugh easily when reading, but Amy and her kids made my husband wonder what was going on! Amy made me feel that I as a working mother am doing great. It is a very positive book. Working mothers deserve encouragement, and just someone to tell them that hey, you are doing ok!

If you are unable to decide which book you want out of the three, definitely go for Amy's book. The rest are just not as good. I couldn't even come to finish Laura Bennet's book.

Great job Amy!

Another good book for mothers looking to read validating and funny stories about motherhood one chapter at a time. The writing is conversational, occasionally witty, and often hilarious. The chapter on breastfeeding was torture to read, since Wilson had such a positive experience with her children and I, despite months of grueling effort, did not. But her recounts of potty training and her son's "penis awareness," made me laugh out loud. Overall, a quick, funny, and worthwhile read.

I found this book when I was visiting the whole durn fam-damily, this is always tough because I am 3 hours off sleep wise. But the guest room was all made up, and everybody else in the house was asleep, so I had to find a way to kill those 2-5 AM hours. And for some reason I picked up this book.

Now, realize that I am the crazy bachelor uncle. I'm the one who can take all the nieces and nephews (I have a bunch), have a "Who can be the loudest?" party, get them all riled up, and then go, "Uh-oh, looks like somebody might need a diaper change, and somebody else might not stop crying, ever" and pull my ripcord, making an escape so perfect and clean James Bond would be impressed.

But I had to do something to kill the late night hours, and I read this book, and I LOVED IT! I just had no idea of what the day to day life of all my siblings who have children was like, and this book laid it out in a way that was hilarious, and interesting, and sweet, and relatable, and... I don't know... un-put-downable? I probably should have just tried to go to sleep that night, but I couldn't. I mean, I'm terrified of having a kid. And I have been fighting with my family about the whole marriage thing for a while now. I am not even close to doing it. But this book tells you why you shouldn't, but also why you should. How great it can be. I just kept reading and reading.

There's really good stuff about how doctors can be idiots, how scary it always is when you are having or already have kids (though it really shouldn't be) and some crazy stuff about being a parent in NYC, which why you would ever want to raise your child in New York City- well, yes, it's crazy, but I blame you for that. I love the city, but would never try to bring up a kid there. But what was really interesting to me was how Wilson delved into her relationship with her kids- how she felt about them- and how that would affect them- it was weird, it made me think about my relationship with my own Mom. It made me re-evaluate some stuff, and somehow ultimately feel better about some stuff. Knowing that it was coming from a particular place.

Ugh, now I am getting emotional. But yeah, that's what I liked the best. Even though I don't have kids of my own, it was worth reading, because it made me think a lot about my relationship with my own mother. Like the author, she had no idea what she was doing. But she did well. Tricky, tricky sister-in-law.

I hope Amy Wilson writes another book.

This is the best (nonfiction) most real book I have read in a very long time. It fully deserves to be on a best seller list, and I am very critical of books. As a mom of 3, I could relate to something, if not everything, in every chapter. Hilarious, off beat, witty, and most of all TRUE. Amy Wilson makes the reader feel as though every crazy thought they have had as a mother is normal (and usually it is!), and most of all, that you are not alone in this crazy thing of motherhood (or fatherhood!). A must read for any mom, particularly any mom with more than 1 child.