Buy Used
Used - Very Good See details
$3.25 & eligible for FREE Super Saver Shipping on orders over $25. Details

or
Sign in to turn on 1-Click ordering.
 
   
Have one to sell? Sell yours here
When Difficult Relatives Happen to Good People
 
 
Tell the Publisher!
I'd like to read this book on Kindle

Don't have a Kindle? Get your Kindle here, or download a FREE Kindle Reading App.

When Difficult Relatives Happen to Good People [Hardcover]

Leonard Felder Ph.D. (Author)
3.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (7 customer reviews)


Available from these sellers.


Formats

Amazon Price New from Used from
Hardcover --  
Paperback $14.95  

Book Description

November 8, 2003
When Difficult Relatives Happen to Good People

For every holiday, wedding, funeral, or birth of a child, families gather for what are supposed to be times of celebration or remembrance. But often these gatherings create more stress and conflict than joy and connection. When Difficult Relatives Happen to Good People speaks to those who look forward to family gatherings but also dream being around certain relatives. The opinionated aging parent, the bigoted uncle, the brother who drinks too much, the cousin who flaunts her money and status--all of these characters appear in the sometimes humorous but always instructive stories throughout this book. Based on years of researching family conflict, Dr. Felder offers practical advice about how to make the most of your heartfelt connections with the family members you love while staying clear of the toxic ones.

Full of specific recommendations for every kind of family situation, from religious disagreements and sibling rivalries to drug, alcohol, and gambling problems, When Difficult Relatives Happen to Good People describes with witty, inspiring examples how to identify when to step in and when to step back, how to avoid feeling like a martyr, and how to stay relaxed in situations that once would have made you cringe.

Customers Who Bought This Item Also Bought


Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Felder, a psychologist and author of Making Peace with Your Parents, notes that people can learn to live with their annoying and difficult relatives, but not by trying to change them. Instead, by figuring out what triggers certain behavior patterns, people can be more accepting and also devise compromises. Using situations from his life as well as examples from his patients, Felder walks readers through the kinds of analysis and solutions they should seek. For example, one matriarch insists on serving Thanksgiving dinner late in the day, when some relatives have already drunk too much and the children are overtired. The woman insists this is the way the holiday has always been celebrated. Finally, her children ask her to try an "experiment" and for one year, start the dinner earlier. The evening turns out to be far more pleasant, and afterwards, relatives call, thanking her for such an enjoyable dinner. Another strategy favored by Felder is to find allies. A woman always has to listen to relatives talk about calories and dieting. She asks her grandfather to help her. He announces a moratorium on discussing food, and the family ends up having conversations about other matters. Felder's tips are practical as he offers specific suggestions on what to say, but what makes his approach so helpful is his assumption that there is no perfect resolution; instead, readers should aim for a middle ground. This is an excellent book for anyone looking for fewer arguments and less tension around family members.
Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Review

"This book will be a huge help for everyone, and especially for the sensitive people found in all extended families. They are the ones most aware of the value of closeness, most diligent in their efforts to bring harmony, and most miserable around their family's not-so-sensitive, intrusive members. Felder helps us see how to have that cherished dream of family togetherness and our personal boundaries, too." --Elaine Aron, Ph.D., author of The Highly Sensitive Person

"I love this book! Once again, Leonard Felder offers us deep awareness and profound help. When Difficult Relatives Happen to Good People is practical, clear, and compelling. There is much wisdom here to help you move out of being victimized by your relatives and into your personal power. I especially appreciate the union of psychology and spirituality."--Margaret Paul, Ph.D., author of Do I Have to Give Up Me to Be Loved by You?

Product Details

  • Hardcover: 299 pages
  • Publisher: Rodale Books; First Printing edition (November 8, 2003)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 157954763X
  • ISBN-13: 978-1579547639
  • Product Dimensions: 9.3 x 6.3 x 1.1 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.2 pounds
  • Average Customer Review: 3.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (7 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,633,283 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Discover books, learn about writers, read author blogs, and more.

 

Customer Reviews

7 Reviews
5 star:
 (3)
4 star:    (0)
3 star:
 (3)
2 star:
 (1)
1 star:    (0)
 
 
 
 
 
Average Customer Review
3.7 out of 5 stars (7 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
Share your thoughts with other customers:
Most Helpful Customer Reviews

56 of 57 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Finally!! Practical advice I can use, November 27, 2003
By 
Laura P. Nagy (Silver Spring, MD United States) - See all my reviews
This review is from: When Difficult Relatives Happen to Good People (Hardcover)
I loved this book. I grew tired of books that provided alot of, exuse me, psycho babble which didn't help me deal w/relatives that drive me nuts or truly hurt me and I find impossible to be around.

Dr. Felder's book provided insight into what I can do that is practical, and I feel even more importantly, urged me to understand that changing my mean grandmother wasn't going to happen.. the only thing I could do was change how I let myself react.

GET THIS BOOK BEFORE XMAS DINNER.

Help other customers find the most helpful reviews 
Was this review helpful to you? Yes No


13 of 14 people found the following review helpful:
3.0 out of 5 stars Ok, March 19, 2007
This review is from: When Difficult Relatives Happen to Good People (Hardcover)
I liked that it gave advice on how to handle some of the situations, but it didn't give useful advice on most issues. It mainly tells you how to handle it in your head, but not how to communicate with these relatives when they are pushing your buttons.
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews 
Was this review helpful to you? Yes No


6 of 7 people found the following review helpful:
3.0 out of 5 stars SOMEWHAT HELPFUL, March 9, 2007
My personal opinion of the book is that I was a little disappointed. I was looking for a revelation or a solution. I did get a few ideas and tactics for coping with those who continue to impose themselves on you. However, if those don't work you wind up compromising yourself.
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews 
Was this review helpful to you? Yes No

Share your thoughts with other customers: Create your own review
 
 
 
Most Recent Customer Reviews





Only search this product's reviews



Inside This Book (learn more)
First Sentence:
"Let's face it-there are times when family members do hurtful, selfish, insensitive, obnoxious things." Read the first page
Key Phrases - Capitalized Phrases (CAPs): (learn more)
Caring Sandwich, Fairness Coalition, Family Protection Plan
New!
Concordance | Text Stats
Browse Sample Pages:
Front Cover | Front Flap | Table of Contents | First Pages | Back Flap | Back Cover | Surprise Me!
Search Inside This Book:



Tags Customers Associate with This Product

 (What's this?)
Click on a tag to find related items, discussions, and people.
 

Your tags: Add your first tag
 

Sell a Digital Version of This Book in the Kindle Store

If you are a publisher or author and hold the digital rights to a book, you can sell a digital version of it in our Kindle Store. Learn more

Customer Discussions

This product's forum
Discussion Replies Latest Post
No discussions yet

Ask questions, Share opinions, Gain insight
Start a new discussion
Topic:
First post:
Prompts for sign-in
 


Active discussions in related forums
Search Customer Discussions
Search all Amazon discussions
   
Related forums





Look for Similar Items by Category


Look for Similar Items by Subject